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Passions in Poetry

How To Find Your Inner Diva

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since 02-27-2001
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0 posted 09-06-2014 02:01 PM       View Profile for Zinsser   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for Zinsser


                   So ... I have learned to trust some things about myself and about, things I have always known were there but not open to talk about  not only because of society but my own belief system that I had not only grown up to believe but reinforced myself ... The teaching were telling me that the things I had exspeianced and or felt were wrong. For sure I have made many wrong choices in my life but this was not a choice but a part of me, a knowing is how I have always described what goes on.
                    As a small child I had " dreams" while fully awake or woken up, I would see people that I knew who had passed away like my Grandpa in a clear white cloudy but very real form usually just of his face smiling at me letting me know he was there he was watching over me never was i afraid, as would the others some whom I had never seen living but knew hey were a part of my line so to speak. I had many nightmares too but the  two different forms of Dreaming never crossed and I was not awake durring a night mare.
                    Later when I was in 4th grade a had a near death exsperiance when drowning in the ocean, thats a whole other storey but  things changed for me after that. I bring this up because this is when I noticed big changes, tho I do believe that My Mother is the carrier of great power of intuition and so much more that was never explored. Such a thing would have been un heard of in her day.... tho she and I were always able to communicate with out words even from a distance she knew if someting was bothering me so on and so forth. How I wish I could have spoken to my old Aunts as an Adult instead of them passing as I was a child ..... and My Grandfathers side MacIntosh from New Zealand to have known his family, Mother  sister  aunts.....  the women  seem to have this more then the men in my family but I could be wrong ..... my son is special and so is my grandson. Anyway...
      I knew then I could not talk about any of this for fear of any and every one thinking Im crazy!
                     So true is the saying when the student is ready the teacher will appear!!!
     For me this was a very small off and on gradual event. I have to be able to process prove and make things make sence so how could it be a fast process... I am my biggest sceptic. And then one friend in paticular when I was ready for her and she was ready for me allowed me to be me .... she too was a kindered spirit  as are all my daughters.... and BTW the daughters know there inheritace tho dont always do anything or acknowege it as of yet.    There own process is yet to unfold. I have so many stories and so many memories to share along the way, I do want to get to some of the now things so you may understand, Hmmmm   Me!
                     I can look at someone and feel them... I can feel pain and or confusion  I can feel enough so that  I can be of some theraputic value to others, which now I choose to be in either the setting of where I work and or of my chooseing it gets way to overwhelming .... complete  strangers talk to me and tell me there life story more then their closest loved ones know about them. Some time I just have to tune out so to speak.
                     A dear friend of mine used to always ask me at work how I knew which way to go in my line of thinking with a client  how out of no where i would find what it was they needed to work on or talk about slowly... and the only way i could explain it was , I listen to what is not being said. I have learned to trust this with practice and a long history of useing it. Between the feeling of their pain and hearing what they dont say.... I get a good foundation of each person i open this up too.
                     Now in facing the fact and embracing the fact that I have a special connection with the energy of the universe comes the endless learning of how to use it when to use it how to stay focused and grounded. when Im not grounded crazy electrical things happens ... phones and computers do things they were never meant to do..... none for the positive... as I walk or drive, street light go out as I pass them. The list goes on and on....
                   I am in the process of learning to use tools such as crystals and cards to direct and focus some of my energys. I am far from an expert in any of this but having great fun in learning it all... and all the directions this can take me. I think of myself as a healer ... I have always done healing work as a career and in my spare time... Social work type counseling, teaching groups, family groups and mental health... and so much more in the AOD field. (Alcohol and Drug). So I know this all weaves together somehow for the better.
                  I want to add somethings that in the future I will touch on more, I have always loved the Moon and the Ocean. Some of us know how closely related these two things are. The ocean is a feeling of home and healing and the moon is my guide. With the changeing cycles of the moon I know when to ask for what I need, to wish for what I would like , to let go of what no longer serves me or others and to set long term goals.
                 So lets see how we can turn this to  How to find your inner Diva and what exactly being a Devia means (at least to me). summerising what I have said  basickly is that my beliefs and practices that i am fully embraceing now are not in alinement with main stream society but in order for me to be my Diva and a Diva to tose I serve. I must fully embrace who I am.
                 I am Connie! I love holy jeans and flip flops. I always have a pair of reading glasses on my head and my hair may or may not be fixed. I am full of passion for life  mostly regarding others instead of self though I still work on that. I am willing now to let the world know the real me and hopefully have fun with my form of magic/ craft that i feel is a complete gift of the universe it will evolve as i evolve. I have been to hell and back on earth many times over and all the good bad and ugly has made me who I am today and I embrace it all. I will never wear a sprkley dress singing my heart out bringing others to full emotions. Which is what the word Diva would bring to mind in my head. Or a fashonista, a person who could take a perfect pic with out time to prep (certainly not me).
                  To me, finding and being the Diva you were meant to be is very personal. Finding your truest form. the one that scares you to share for fear of rejection from the world or your world. You know its a gift any gift and that list is as long as there are people in the world. Dont be afraid to be the real you no matter what!!!!    I long to hear about your inner Diva....  we can all help each other keep on the track of our personal Diva's  and add some insight to each others path... how fun how exciting... lets journey together.

Constance Kever McDonald
copyright @ 6th of Sept 2014

           Thank You

© Copyright 2014 Connie McDonald - All Rights Reserved
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since 10-29-2000
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1 posted 10-31-2014 07:24 PM       View Profile for nakdthoughts   Email nakdthoughts   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for nakdthoughts

I enjoyed reading this tonight.
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