Out of Corinth
[First Post] 3
A Cockroach took a walk downtown one day, to get a bite to eat. He dropped in on his favorite deli and sat down. And started right in.
But cockroaches, being what they are, he was not a welcome sight.
"Oh gross!" someone commented, "a cockroach!"
"Where?" said the Owner.
"There!" said someone else, "in the salad!"
But the Owner, when he got to the salad, could not find the Cockroach. That was because the Cockroach had walked over to the entrees.
"Yuck!" someone else said. "Now he's in the entrees!"
Cockroaches move fast. So when the Owner got the entrees, sure enough, the Cockroach was not there either.
That was because he had moved to the soup.
"Akkk!" someone else said. "Now he's in the soup!"
"Now I gotcha!" cried the Owner. Soup was always a slippery business in his deli.
But, you guessed it, the Cockroach had moved to the deserts.
"#?¡?§¿ cockroach!" yelled the Owner. "I hate cockroaches!"
"Yes you do," said the Cockroach with a hurt tone in his voice. "You've always hated cockroaches. Every time I come in here, you chase me out."
"That's because you're dirty," said the Owner. "And you always make a mess. And you never pay!"
"I have no money," said the Cockroach sadly. "How else am I supposed to eat?"
"Eat somewhere else," said the Owner.
"What have I ever done to you?" said the Cockroach.
"You scare away the customers," said the Owner.
"Too bad," said the Cockroach.
"Go away!" yelled the Owner.
"Ha, ha!" said the Cockroach. "You can't tell me what to do. Oh, by the way, as long as you're here, could you pass the mustard?"
"Aaargh!" yelled the Owner. "I'll call the exterminator."
"You do that," said the Cockroach.
So the Owner called the Exterminator.
"Oh ho!" said the Exterminator when he arrived. "What have we here?"
"A cockroach," said the Cockroach.
"You're pretty cocky for a cockroach," said the Exterminator.
"And you're...uhhh," said the Cockroach uncertainly. He had thought to make an irreverent reply. But when he looked at the Exterminator more closely, he said, "You're the Devil!"
"Very good!" said the Devil appreciatively. "Not everybody catches that."
Then the Owner looked at the Devil closely also. "You are the Devil!" he said.
"At your service," said the Devil, bowing gallantly.
"But...? I called the exterminator," said the Owner.
"And so you have," said the Devil. And turning to the Cockroach he said, "As for you...."
"Gulp!" gulped the Cockroach loudly. "This isn't right. I'm just a cockroach."
"Too bad," said the Devil with an evil grin.
Then said the Cockroach, "Anyway, you don't want me. I don't have a soul." And pointing to the Owner, he said, "You want him."
"First things first," said the Devil.
"What!?" said the Owner.
Then the Devil eyed the Cockroach shrewdly and said, "The question is, What do we do with you?"
"Tell you what," said the Cockroach, breaking a sweat. "Let's make a deal. I just have to get my pen." And then he turned and zipped, as fast as a cockroach could, for the nearest exit.
Which was pretty fast.
But the Devil is pretty fast too, certainly faster than a mere cockroach. And he caught him.
And then, seeing as how the Cockroach was so large and healthy from eating so well at the deli, the Devil cooked him in butter and Worchestershire sauce until he was brown all over and done just right.
And then he ate him for lunch.
"Who says I don't like cockroaches?" said the Devil appreciatively. "Mmmmmm!"
He looked to the Owner who had been watching all this with amazement and said, "Could you get the mustard, please?"
"Well...thank you," said the Owner uncertainly. "You can mail me the bill."
"Cockroaches go best with mustard," said the Devil.
"I'll mail you the mustard," said the Owner anxiously. "And thank you for your service. But you're scaring the customers."
"You don't seem to understand," said the Devil patiently. And then more pointedly, he said, "You called me."
"You're right," said the Owner after a moment of uneasy thought. Then nodding, he said, "I don't understand. Tell me."
"The mustard please," said the Devil.
So the Owner brought the Devil his mustard.
"Thank you," said the Devil.
And saucing his cockroach, he chewed on it happily.
"It's probable you have more than one cockroach," he said.
"No one has just one cockroach," he said.
"This may take a while."
© by Out of Corinth