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Passions in Poetry

My attempts at the Koan form

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ice
Member Elite
since 05-17-2003
Posts 3059
Pennsylvania


0 posted 12-14-2011 11:06 AM       View Profile for ice   Email ice   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for ice


In full moonlight, I watch the doe through my window
Feeding-- it shudders, as it grinds gold offerings;
The television speaks of a midnight bombing in Kabal.
Deer are nocturnal, move at night, the same as insurgents.
*
A mature woman doesn't know Im watching;
Bright aftrenoon, I shade my eyes with dark glasses.
I have always admired the grace of willow branches;
Her salt and pepper hair hangs in billows to her waist.

What is nearby, might answer when called,
But voids summon information first, with outer silence.
Cars making passes on double lines are dangerous;
With caution he wonders if she is married.
*
*
Rules of the form > http://www.ehow.com/how_5093172_write-chinese-poetry.html
© Copyright 2011 ford hume - All Rights Reserved
g7
Junior Member
since 11-15-2011
Posts 20


1 posted 12-15-2011 03:25 PM       View Profile for g7   Email g7   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for g7

am not a huge fan of the study of poetry form...some might find that neanderthal, others might think its common sense.  either way, i really like this form of poetry a lot.
ice
Member Elite
since 05-17-2003
Posts 3059
Pennsylvania


2 posted 12-15-2011 03:39 PM       View Profile for ice   Email ice   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for ice

Thank you g7
I like this form, but have no idea how it got in the prose forum? I posted it in the poetry forum, and it went here by mistake.
But thank you for reading it, and your reply.
ice
Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 06-05-99
Posts 26302
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA


3 posted 12-15-2011 10:49 PM       View Profile for Balladeer   Email Balladeer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Balladeer's Home Page   View IP for Balladeer

You did excellent with this form, ice. If you would like it moved, tell me and I'll put it in the forum of your choice.
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Caelestus
since 06-25-99
Posts 67715
Listening to every heart


4 posted 12-15-2011 11:10 PM       View Profile for Sunshine   Email Sunshine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Sunshine's Home Page   View IP for Sunshine

LOL...it's already in Open....

Ford,

this is a great piece...
I need to see if I can
play Chess with you, and
at least try to match this
wonderful form.



OwlSA
Member Rara Avis
since 11-07-2005
Posts 8424
Durban, South Africa


5 posted 12-27-2011 05:26 AM       View Profile for OwlSA   Email OwlSA   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for OwlSA

Thanks, Karilea.  I thought I was losing my mind, lol, I knew I had answered these exquisite koans!

Owl
ebonygirl
Senior Member
since 07-14-2011
Posts 1907
California U.S.A


6 posted 01-17-2012 07:11 AM       View Profile for ebonygirl   Email ebonygirl   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for ebonygirl

Whoa ice, enjoyed the story, so visual, so in your head.
Nice,
Ms. E
ice will be notified of replies
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