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Passions in Poetry

Sanctuary [Wistfulness and Hope]

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SummerMoon
New Member
since 05-01-2011
[First Post] 1
TX, USA


0 posted 05-01-2011 05:07 PM       View Profile for SummerMoon   Email SummerMoon   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for SummerMoon

Hello, I'm new and this is my first post. ^^ Most of what I write is like prose-poetry... usually no rhyme and only a slight rhythm if any. Any critiques are welcome.


On a bright, quiet day
She set off on the path toward the beach
Under the endless blue sky, filled with billowing clouds

As her sandals echoed on the charcoal asphalt
A lazy breeze blew by, carrying the briny ocean scent

The walk there was a small peaceful journey
The forms of all the whitewashed houses bathed in sunlight was an uplifting visage

The passage between the road and beach was like a small portal, a tranquil sanctuary
The sight of the wooden steps leading to the sand, framed by swaying marsh grasses was like a sweet dream
The warm sand, hazy air and fresh, salty smell....like a daydream, like no other...
The crashing of the waves as they hit the shore, the whisper as their foamy tips beckon......

The cool, rejuvenating sensation of the waves washing everything away, unparalleled....

Through a misty midday dream...

  The vision of a girl alone by the ocean...

       on a sun-splashed afternoon

© Copyright 2011 SummerMoon - All Rights Reserved
maddorani
Member
since 11-18-2007
Posts 419
houston,tx


1 posted 05-01-2011 05:17 PM       View Profile for maddorani   Email maddorani   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for maddorani

omg this is so amazing
Marilyn
Member Elite
since 09-26-1999
Posts 2646
Ontario, Canada


2 posted 07-31-2011 11:23 PM       View Profile for Marilyn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Marilyn

Welcome to prose. You painted such a lovely picture here. The reader was brought into it with the imagery you created. Well done.
HeliaHeart
Junior Member
since 11-16-2008
Posts 46
Georgia


3 posted 09-28-2011 04:55 PM       View Profile for HeliaHeart   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for HeliaHeart

Oh its so nice... you can just smell the ocean scent and feel that soft breeze. Its well written and poignant

~Lia
"Live as if you were to die tomorrow, Learn as if you were to live forever"
-M. K. Ghandi

Mysteria
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Member Laureate
since 03-07-2001
Posts 19652
British Columbia, Canada


4 posted 10-03-2011 01:06 AM       View Profile for Mysteria   Email Mysteria   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Mysteria

This happens to be my absolute favorite thing to do, and also my favorite picture.  You described the scene and the feeling well.  Welcome to Passions too by the way.
priyanka
Member
since 06-15-2009
Posts 212
india


5 posted 10-03-2011 07:35 PM       View Profile for priyanka   Email priyanka   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for priyanka

quote:
Through a misty midday dream...

  The vision of a girl alone by the ocean...

       on a sun-splashed afternoon


loved it!!!
Anoo
Member
since 01-23-2011
Posts 55
UK


6 posted 10-26-2011 11:03 AM       View Profile for Anoo   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Anoo

As I read your writing I was carried away to the place you created. Breathtaking. The subtle things you have enhanced in a beautiful manner.
Look forward for more
Anoo
tracie66
Member Elite
since 01-18-2000
Posts 4587
Victoria, Australia


7 posted 11-16-2011 07:15 AM       View Profile for tracie66   Email tracie66   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit tracie66's Home Page   View IP for tracie66

welcome to passions, this was wonderful, you took me on a lovely journey. Thanks

Love is the life of the soul...
It is the harmony of the universe
                         W. E. Channing


Sunshine
Administrator
Member Caelestus
since 06-25-99
Posts 67715
Listening to every heart


8 posted 11-16-2011 10:30 AM       View Profile for Sunshine   Email Sunshine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Sunshine's Home Page   View IP for Sunshine

Lovely prose. Welcome to Passions. Please find a very belated, but very Special Greeting in your mailbox.

Sunshine

"The business of the poet...is to show the sorriness underlying the grandest things and the grandeur underlying the sorriest things." Thomas Hardy

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