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Juju
Member Elite
since 2003-12-29
Posts 3429
In your dreams

0 posted 2010-08-25 08:27 PM


My destination was a frozen tundra. The wind battered the buildings and bruised the landscapes until there was nothing, but flat land for miles and miles. The trains roared and squealed like a tortured animal, hungry for the steal gripped between it's fingers. Unlike my home, the buildings never broke three stories and scattered across, just like the frost-kissed trees. The wind blew off the frost and made it suddenly snow, even on a cold and bewildering dry day like today.  

"Do you need me to come in with you?" my mother said to me.

"I think I should go in on my own, but thank you though" I answered catiously. She ended up going to the local art museum, not far away. I walked along the side walk, tightly packed down with sticky snow that crunched and stuck to my boots. The building I entered was old, probably older than me. I wondered how many generations of students ran their hands on the railing, as several layers of paint are worn out. The white paint on the walls was peeling like onion: all over and in many layers. Was I like an old building? Would a fresh can of paint cover my stains and dirty spots? I wanted and didn't want to touch those walls.

I came across to the main office where they greeted me. The clock was now well passed my meeting time and I had been waiting there even longer. This Professor is either a busy person or he thinks he is busy. One of the two.  

I decided it was time to pull out my DS and play Tetris, but before the main menu popped up in came the professor.

Juju  


-Juju

-"So you found a girl
Who thinks really deep thoughts
What's so amazing about really deep thoughts " Silent all these Years, Tori Amos


[This message has been edited by Juju (08-26-2010 09:48 PM).]

© Copyright 2010 Juju - All Rights Reserved
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
1 posted 2010-08-25 10:44 PM


Juju...I know that cold. The short story continues....

a note of caution. My novel was 20 "chapters" long on PiP when I asked Ron to remove it based upon a very wise PiP member's advice...."before someone steals it!"

I asked, he did, and the remainder of the novel was only shared with a few folk before it's birth.

You have something here...it is compelling, and I want you to continue.

  

K

Mysteria
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Member Laureate
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada
2 posted 2010-08-26 12:12 PM


I am hanging in here and agree, don't give it all - save some in case you decide to get it printed.

Love this slice of life Juju.

nakdthoughts
Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200
Between the Lines
3 posted 2010-08-26 08:58 PM


I agree with K and Sharon~~

you may want to correct this repetition at the end: I decided it was time to pull out my DS and play Tetris, but before the main menu popped up in came in came the professor.

enjoying you

M

Cpat Hair
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793

4 posted 2010-08-30 10:00 AM


very nicely told story...
and if pursued to its ending or intended to be a longer study, I would take care as mentioned above it is not stolen..

truly enjoyed yor offering here.. and as much as i might wish to read more, I would I think wait to see it published if that is the intent..


brava!

Juju
Member Elite
since 2003-12-29
Posts 3429
In your dreams
5 posted 2010-08-30 08:56 PM


Well I have tried to get my stuff published, but I have not been able to. It is a very difficult process, because I don't want them to be stolen my the agent. Though I have been told that they were very good, the publication agencies pretty much said that for my genre (what ever that means) there really isn't the sales.  People who read dramas, as they say, like autobiographies and not fiction.

Even the child books which are laid back rhymers -and no drama- I have had no luck.

So I don't know. But it really would burn me if someone stole and made money off it, especially cause I am so poor now.  So I will do one more excerpt of the story, but it is no the end of the story.

Thanks for your compliments.

Juju

-Juju

-"So you found a girl
Who thinks really deep thoughts
What's so amazing about really deep thoughts " Silent all these Years, Tori Amos

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