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Passions in Poetry

Grieving for Humpty Dumpty

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Larry C
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0 posted 06-01-2010 02:19 AM       View Profile for Larry C   Email Larry C   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions   Click to visit Larry C's Home Page   View IP for Larry C



Grieving for Humpty Dumpty
By Larry Chadwick

And so I knelt down to pray.  Innocent in my intentions I wanted to thank the Lord for what he has done for me. Even those things we take for granted came up. Then it was my intent to pray for my family. Our parents aren’t getting any younger and they appreciate knowing we as God to watch over them. Of course our brothers and their large extended families.  Leaving out thirty some aunts and uncles would not be right and my sixty first cousins certainly need to be remembered.  But most importantly we really want to remember our children.  And so it was that I asked God to bless our boys. Right there, right in my face, I was reminded I no longer need to pray for my daughter who has died.  And tears welled up from nowhere.  I often thank God for the time we had together and for the great memories.  But right then I just wanted to be able to pray for her… and there was no point. My prayer was finished with a weak a teary amen so that I might indulge the tears.

It isn’t that we can’t accept the reality of death.  It is that God wired our minds for eternity.  And so grief has become the burden that bridges time from now until then.  We are better for embracing grief, for to deny it is to embrace suffering.  Suffering is grief without hope.  Why would I chose that?  And so I embrace tears as they wash away forgetfulness.  And just as the rainbow is that sunray of hope in the rain, so is the smile to my tears.  And hope renews by accepting the grief as a badge of honor for having shared a precious life.  People speak in terms that grief does not understand.  They speak of healing and the benefits of the passing of time.  They even speak of mended hearts.  But those things should be saved for denial.  I choose to meet grief face to face.  It is my way of refusing to suffer and avoiding the façade of denial.  Hope seems to have connected to grief and despair has partnered with suffering.  So I see no sadness in grief but find it unavoidable in sorrow.  Healing seems synonymous with forgetting, something suffering would trick you into doing.  It doesn’t tempt me.  

I have come to accept that the perception of sadness remains when reminiscing or honoring your deceased loved ones.  I find it erroneous but forgivable.  They were pretty much right about Humpty Dumpty. Nobody could put him back together again.  But still I choose to honor the memory of him.


May 31, 2010


If tears could build a stairway and memories a lane,
I'd walk right up to heaven and bring you home again.
© Copyright 2010 Larry Chadwick - All Rights Reserved
nakdthoughts
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since 10-29-2000
Posts 19275
Between the Lines


1 posted 06-01-2010 06:43 AM       View Profile for nakdthoughts   Email nakdthoughts   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for nakdthoughts

"It is that God wired our minds for eternity."

This is so true Larry~~and I agree with you about grief.


M
1slick_lady
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since 12-22-2000
Posts 6147
standing on a shadow's lace


2 posted 06-02-2010 10:26 PM       View Profile for 1slick_lady   Email 1slick_lady   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit 1slick_lady's Home Page   View IP for 1slick_lady

we as humans
have hurts
we can NEVER get over

and God be with you
amen
Larry C
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3 posted 06-05-2010 12:13 AM       View Profile for Larry C   Email Larry C   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Larry C's Home Page   View IP for Larry C

Maureen,
It took me a long time to figure that out. Explains why we can be old and still think of ourselves as in our much younger years. Thanks dear lady.

Helen,
All is well and you support the point I tried to make. We don't "get over it" we grow into acceptance. Thank you for your encouragement. And know that all is well with me.

If tears could build a stairway and memories a lane,
I'd walk right up to heaven and bring you home again.

Amaryllis
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since 05-20-2010
Posts 1325
Mi now


4 posted 06-05-2010 01:14 AM       View Profile for Amaryllis   Email Amaryllis   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Amaryllis

Oh I hardly bear it.. the tears come now, for you,for  your awful loss- I do not know you but I know that love; that heart- I am a parent also.. and can`t imagine worse, oh I pray that God may strengthen you throughout the coming days~
Peace to you~
Amaryllis
Larry C
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5 posted 06-05-2010 02:40 AM       View Profile for Larry C   Email Larry C   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Larry C's Home Page   View IP for Larry C

Dear Amaryllis,
It has been eight years and there are seldom tears. They arrive unannounced and depart almost as quickly. I have written mostly about my own experience with grief and loss rather than lighter fair for most of that time. Mostly I'm trying to help people understand the gap is never filled the pain is never "gone." IT IS however diminished and moves from grief and sorrow to sadness and joy. Sadness for what you lost and joy for what you had. I am at peace with all of those things. And more importantly leading a happy life. I have never lost focus that prevents me from celebrating the son I have left at the cost of glorifying the dead. Do I miss her? With all my heart. Living with grief and sorrow is so much a better option than denying it. And in it all I am able to celebrate her memory and her life. SO from where I sit, I'm really blessed. It's not my intent to minimize your empahty. I would never do that. But it is my intent to somehow communicate that it is as bad as you are able to imagine, BUT it is survivable. And coming up for breath I'd like to thank you for your sensitivity. I'm sure you are a wonderful parent. I thank you for your kindness.

If tears could build a stairway and memories a lane,
I'd walk right up to heaven and bring you home again.

Earl Brinkman
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since 03-03-2010
Posts 1185
Osaka, Japan


6 posted 06-09-2010 12:33 AM       View Profile for Earl Brinkman   Email Earl Brinkman   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Earl Brinkman

I want to thank you for sharing your wisdom with us.
Larry C
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7 posted 06-10-2010 01:43 AM       View Profile for Larry C   Email Larry C   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Larry C's Home Page   View IP for Larry C

Earl,
You are very kind. Thank you for being so.

If tears could build a stairway and memories a lane,
I'd walk right up to heaven and bring you home again.

JamesMichael
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since 11-16-1999
Posts 31622
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA


8 posted 04-02-2012 01:04 AM       View Profile for JamesMichael   Email JamesMichael   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for JamesMichael

You have written this so tenderly for the daughter you miss with all of your heart...James
Larry C
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9 posted 05-06-2012 11:44 PM       View Profile for Larry C   Email Larry C   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Larry C's Home Page   View IP for Larry C

Thank you James.
Professor Gloom
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since 07-23-2000
Posts 3074
of Depression


10 posted 05-09-2012 12:10 AM       View Profile for Professor Gloom   Email Professor Gloom   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Professor Gloom's Home Page   View IP for Professor Gloom

Larry C, poet and wordsmith of emotion,
I have only my friends and parents, most friends are gone
And both my parents have died,
But I no longer pray for them
I pray to them. I talk to Mom all the time
And though she has never answered in words
I feel her response in my soul and spirit.

Gloom
Larry C
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11 posted 05-09-2012 12:16 PM       View Profile for Larry C   Email Larry C   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Larry C's Home Page   View IP for Larry C

The cycles of life. If only... Reminds me why my faith matters. I am sorry for your losses as well. Grief is a hard teaches which is, I'm sure, why learning is so valuable. Speaking of wordsmiths... it is an honor to have you as a friend Prof.

If tears could build a stairway and memories a lane,
I'd walk right up to heaven and bring you home again.

nakdthoughts
Member Laureate
since 10-29-2000
Posts 19275
Between the Lines


12 posted 05-10-2012 06:37 AM       View Profile for nakdthoughts   Email nakdthoughts   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for nakdthoughts

Larry, I thought you would enjoy this little story. While I was subbing the other day my lesson was  for the children to come up with a way to try and put Humpty together again after analyzing  his problem.

The last possible solution from these 7 year olds was to take  a plastic Easter Egg
(those that are halved because they were stronger than an egg shell) and put the old insides of Humpty inside (including his heart), and close him up, seal it with duct tape and  replace his eyes, ears, mouth etc... on the outside and  get the King's men and horses to raise him back up onto the wall...


don't know why, but thought I would try and bring a smile~~~ always nice to see you.


M
Balladeer
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Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA


13 posted 05-10-2012 07:48 AM       View Profile for Balladeer   Email Balladeer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Balladeer's Home Page   View IP for Balladeer

Larry, no one could have said it better. When it comes to grief, the old addage of, "If I close my eyes you cannot see me" doesn't work. One does not move ahead by denying but rather by facing and accepting. You have done that over the years and I admire you as much as I have ever admired anyone I've been privileged to associate with. Be well, friend.

Hey, Maureen, are your students Egyptians???
miscellanea
Member Elite
since 06-24-2004
Posts 3983
OH


14 posted 06-04-2012 07:50 AM       View Profile for miscellanea   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for miscellanea

Larry,

      Thanks for sharing your thoughts and heart with us.  My dad died close to forty years ago, and sometimes, when I say my prayers, I cannot omitt him, instead saying that I hope everyone up there enjoys him as much as I did.     I am sure they do, as they would your daughter.  

miscellanea    
  

Larry C
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Posts 10765
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15 posted 07-11-2012 06:28 PM       View Profile for Larry C   Email Larry C   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Larry C's Home Page   View IP for Larry C

Dear M,
I love the story of the 7 year olds! I too see Humpty back on the wall. Thank you for sharing such a tender concept. Puts a big smile on my face.

Dear Deer,
This journey has been so much richer done in your company. Denial never seemed like a good option to me either. Thank you for being a friend of honesty and candor.

Dear miscie,
40 years is a long time and yet... I too like the prospect of heaven and long to be there. Until then I choose, like you, to remember. Thank you.

If tears could build a stairway and memories a lane,
I'd walk right up to heaven and bring you home again.

 
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