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The Rambling Improvisational ramblings of Adagio in Mourning
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The Rambling Improvisational ramblings of Adagio in Mourning |
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adagio Member
since 2005-03-19
Posts 449Marrero, La. |
It's been two and a half months since Leah died. No one loved me like She did.I have been told that time will heal my wounds.I know this will sound selfish, but I have lost the greatest part of my life.She was my Wife.,My Life ,My reason for living.Now hear comes the cleche: A BIG part of me died along with her.It was the way she smiled when I came home from work, It was the sparkle in her eyes when She saw me come through the door.Time will heel my wounds? well when? I still Love her and miss her and I am still hurting.Time is NOT healing my wounds. To come home after driving that taxi all day and not to meet her greeting is a nausiating feeling. Some days I cannot even bring myself to face my customers.I JUST LAY ON THE COUCH ON THOSE DAYS AND WATCH OLD MOVIES. The kind that bring me the comfort of familiarity. Old T.V. shows like M*A*S*H* where I feel like I know all the people like family.I really do not have any real family left, and only a few real friends. When you get to the end of your rope Tie a knot and hang on even though you are sweating and you're getting dust in your eyes don't you despise those at the top how they got there is their own affaif just hang on 'cause you must so they tell me I have faith but it's wearing thin I can barely see it through the tears every minute of every day that goes by I still cry adagio (still in mourning) |
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| © Copyright 2009 Ralph Robichaux, Jr. - All Rights Reserved | |||
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fractal007 Senior Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 1958 |
Pretty heavy piece. I don't know that I would have centered the text like that. Still, if the speaker is you I am very sad for you. You might have tried for a bit more creativity in your acknowledgment of your cliches. (I think that's what you meant by 'here comes the cleche'.) |
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nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
Ralph, I don't know how long the mourning goes on...I have lost my father, my sister, her husband, and my closest Aunt through illnesses, all within a few years and I think about them every day when certain reminders spring forth. I still have a husband whom I will always love, although we live apart, and cannot even imagine what you are going through. Losing him by his leaving after 30 years of marriage left me devastated. I can feel your loss through your words and two months is still a deep time of grieving.  M |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
Hugging you, knowing no words will take her place, not in a million years. That's a long time....which none of us really gets. Be strong and secure in knowing you were one of the few who seems to have had a 'forever' love....one who truly knew what love meant and offered it to you daily. It's OK to mourn....it's part of the healing process, and no one can say how long that takes for each individual.   |
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Mysteria
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
Ralph, for some the mourning never ends, it just changes. This I know all too well. One day it just happens, then you realize it is way better to celebrate the time you had with them in life, rather than feel the loss of something gone that perpetuates the ache. I can only hope you find a healing place to keep her with you always, but also find a way to move on, as I am sure she would have wanted that for you.  Take it one day at a time, and lean on friends and family to see you through. |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Everybody's different, and for me, it just became a part of me... (I'm back home now, btw...) "we'll try again tomorrow" yes? |
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Alison
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy! |
adagio, There are no words of comfort that a stranger like myself can offer - they all sound like platitudes. I will say though that you wrenched my heart. Your pain is raw and it swept me along with you. I wish I could say something to help. Just know that I believe when we write of someone of someone we love - we offer a small piece of that person to those who read about that person and to those who open their hearts to that person. I believe all who have read this carry a tiny bit of Leah in our hearts. You are in my thought. Alison |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Loss of a beloved is something that can only be embraced. It is nothing one can hide from; every sound, every tick of a clock, every memory of one's laughter or touch...all will be remembered. In the beginning it pains one...later, though noticable, it is a passing pain; even later, we think of what our beloved would want us to do. That is when our healing begins. And it takes time for everyone, Ralph. It's not tomorrow, or next week. You've been given all of the platitudes. Now, you will begin to wonder what Leah would have wanted for you. I think I know. But only you will be able to tell me if she is right. I think you and I know that her spirit is watching over you. You are her forever love, but still, she will guide you to such wonders. |
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