fractal007
Senior Member
since 06-01-2000
Posts 1946
Hamilton, Ontario, Canada
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0 posted 05-27-2009 10:35 PM
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Salam sat, reading the paper, paying little attention to his surroundings but knowing all the while that attracting the attention of Kelvin was not a difficult task. Anyone who showed excessive youth and vibrance could attract Kelvin simply because Kelvin lacked those things himself. So it was no surprise when Salam soon found himself discussing a well-known corporation and its various holdings with the young man. The conversation turned this way and that, ending eventually at the topic of university and what each of them had studied.
Salam, energy still in his eyes, having difficulty resisting the change that needed to be kept at bay until the time was right, gave in to himself. He stared at Kelvin who presently was leaving, carrying an apple. "An apple a day keeps the doctor away," he said helpfully. Kelvin felt self conscious, knowing full well the gluttonous abandon with which he'd eaten the night before and which would be coming tonight as well. It was all he could hope for.
Darkness. It was as thick as despair and equally confusing. The exit was nowhere, the beginning and the end both in the same place - everywhere. But Salam did not need eyes to see. He'd seen despair and listlessness in so many people before and now his eyes were used to it. Yes, over there was a doubt about direction, near his left foot shivered a tiny creature. As Salam recalled, these creatures were called aspirations in some cultures. As far as Salam was concerned, however, they were more like little runts that fed on excess neurological energy in the psyche and grew to become monsters in name only, roaring like dragons and drowning out the calm voice of reality. Hell, people had these little monsters in their pockets for hundreds of years. Salam remembered the countryman who'd fancied himself a knight and taken to jousting everything in sight and prancing naked on mountains, all in the name of impressing a woman who was never really there.
Kelvin could feel a small and comforting force at his feet, reassuring him that his body was upright. But that force was really all he could feel and at times it faded. Kelvin realized that in he was breathing and so there was air here. But did he dare speak?
"I thought we agreed that you wouldn't begin until I had spoken with him directly."
It was Mariposa. "Lindsay, sometimes you can be very impatient."
Now they were in darkness and safety. No one would be watching. Lindsay listened as the skin and the form of Salam fell from her and into the darkness.
Kelvin could hear strange sounds, confusing thoughts, incisions into skin, distant conversations, whimpers evoking his compassion for...for things that weren't really there. Oh if only someone could see his passion! Then he would be regarded highly by others.
But soon reality sank back in, growling like a fiery serpent. In the distance he thought he heard someone or something begin speaking: "You're not qualified for...." That was definitely one of Kelvin's thoughts. He was aware constantly that he wasn't qualified. He wasn't qualified to program, he wasn't qualified to hold the position he held, he shouldn't have gotten the job after his less than stellar performance during the interview.
"You're not qualified for this kind of task, Mariposa," Lindsay said, perhaps a little taken aback at the elderly woman's comments. "I thought you had better things to do at your old age than chasing around youngsters like me."
Lindsay could imagine where Kelvin was now, at his desk, eyes squeezed in concentration, emotions welling up in him. But all the while he wasn't aware of the game the three of them were playing. Borrow a wee bit of his consciousness here and transplant it there. Even a teaspoon of the darkness was thick enough to provide hours of fun.
Lindsay watched as Kelvin lurched inside another pang of doubt about himself. It was funny to see him take so seriously the random feeling here or the glance from someone there.
"Okay," Mariposa said, "enough of this."
Slowly a brown emerged, not in any particular place, but rather a tinge of it everywhere. Divisions of shades protruded slowly, lighter here, higher in contrast there, and then definite objects. Kelvin could see what looked like a chair. In front of it was a sturdy desk atop of which rested a plethora of disorganized papers and books. The chair was empty and bookshelves lined every wall of the room that formed around Kelvin now. Turning he saw to his right a mirror standing his full height. His face reflected perfectly in the mirror, his body looked the way it always had.
A figure moved in the mirror now, a blond-haired woman. Beside her stood the cleaning lady Kelvin had seen on so many occasions after hours while working on this or that idea.
"So what was that you were saying about university?" the blond asked.
"Wh-What?" Kelvin asked.
Lindsay was pleased. That's right, fill in the gap, close the window for asking the standard questions like "why am I here?" or "what is this place?" These two stupid gems were staples of the human species. People asked them no matter where they were.
Mariposa looked at Kelvin. He was an unremarkable specimen at least inasmuch as Kelvin fancied himself. He tried to fulfill the role he thought most appropriate given the world in which he lived. He tried to live like a modernist cardboard cutout from an existentialist play -- not that he'd ever read or seen one. It was strange how norms were so easy to confer, particularly when their recipients did not feel expected to understand them. And it was hilarious to watch as people like Kelvin set traps for themselves by inventing their own religions in the name of escaping broader institutions. Mariposa blinked and smiled.
Kelvin could see the blond-haired woman walking toward him now. He could feel her body heat beside him to his left, her fairly plain face staring back at him through the mirror. This was incredibly awkward and self conscious. He wished he could have kept off that weight he'd lost not too long ago.
"Do you ever wish you could shed it?"
Kelvin became angry and annoyed with the woman's question. How dare she pry into his personal affairs like this?
"What?" Kelvin demanded, turning now to face the woman.
"This"
He felt the woman's right hand gently move across his chin and over to his left cheek. Her left hand moved across his forehead and began to push on it while the left pushed past his lips, clasping his teeth, her fingers digging down into his lower jaw. Kelvin felt a tug and an immense pressure as his face was rend in two. His mouth expanded until it became a flattened plane on which forests flourished and towns grew. And Kelvin's tongue, standing erect at the center of the plane became as Kelvin himself. Kelvin, or rather his tongue, stood there in the square of a deceptively simple town on this plane.
"Hey"
"What?"
The woman was still there with him, this time sitting on a ledge at the side of a well.
"This isn't a well, in case that's what you're thinking," the woman said. "Oh, by the way, call me Lindsay."
"Hey, what happened? I'm supposed to be..."
"Ask me if I care." Lindsay said.
"But---"
"Ask me."
"Do you care?"
No.
Life's short. Think hard!
Me!
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