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Memories and Sleep
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Memories and Sleep |
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Skyfire 
since 2000-12-27
Posts 3381Riding 
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Yet again I wake from my sleep with a start, images and sounds whirling through my brain. The crashing and shattering fades once again into silence though I lie back down beside him with the pictures going though my head. The feeling of losing control, the absolute clarity I felt when I knew that only my God could save me. The side of the burm coming up to meet me, the feel of the car flipping end over tail. My soft cry of "oh God", my deliberate relaxing of all my muscles... Beside me he sleeps, snoring softly, it's nice, he's quiet tonight. I draw strength from his presence of "man", asleep though he is. I breathe in his scent, and touch my lips softly to his bare shoulder. He stirs but doesn't wake, I'm able to touch him knowing he won't wake up, that I can satisfy my need to feel him beneath my fingers without the worry that I'll disturb his sleep. I roll onto my back again and fear closing my eyes, the memories haven't yet left. Opening my eyes I once again see in the dark dusky light the shattered windshield, the dust from the airbag settling, and I again feel the terror of knowing my car was wrecked and somehow I survived. Still, every now and then, it hits me just how lucky, no, how blessed I am, to be alive. The car, my brand new car, was a write off... when I saw the pictures of it I started to cry. I should not have survived. In the darkness beside me he stirs and draws me into his arms... my man, my blessing, the one who woke up when I crashed, even though we were hundreds of kilometers apart when it happened and he should have been sound asleep to go to work early the next morning. I snuggle close to him, breathing in his scent, feeling him kiss me on the top of my head, and I close my eyes, willing away the memories and drifting at last into a dreamless sleep. |
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| © Copyright 2008 Rhonda Adolph - All Rights Reserved | |||
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
enjoyed...James |
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Didymus Junior Member
since 2008-05-01
Posts 33USA |
Skyfire your words resound in me. This of little solace Be grateful that night dreams those nightmares from the past that arise from trauma have not been laid down in memory so thick and fast that they become a more deadly form of PTSD. Been there and other trauma too One who knows May the wind and sun always be at your back the wind to fill your sails the sun to light your way D |
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