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Slate Writing
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Slate Writing |
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Larry C
since 2001-09-10
Posts 10286United States 
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Slate Writing By Larry Chadwick I’ve tried to remember when the slate of my mind was clean. Then I watched my children from their birth and tried to understand how long their slate was clean. It occurred to me that as a young father I was the primary person etching onto their slate. But I was too young to be intimidated by that. More recently I have observed friends that have had children later in their life cycle. Maturity seems to take slate writing much more seriously. I find myself longing to be able to apply my wisdom acquired with age to my offspring, but they are no longer interested and I can no longer have more. And that caused me to re-assess my relationship with my dad. Unfortunately it took me too many years to realize that life had also provided him with knowledge beyond my years that I could learn from. And so here I sit with understanding from years of experience that is of such value yet my own children have no desire to hear it. Surely it is related to why history repeats itself. June 24, 2008 If tears could build a stairway and memories a lane, I'd walk right up to heaven and bring you home again. |
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| © Copyright 2008 Larry Chadwick - All Rights Reserved | |||
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miscellanea Member Elite
since 2004-06-24
Posts 4060OH |
Larry, So true, so true. Recently, I took a trip out west with my daughter and a friend or hers. Oh my goodness! What good teachers they were and didn't even know it. What my aged mother must go through with her children, I experienced in that car ride! (At home, I can be driving at 45 mph and my mother tells me I'm going too fast.) I found myself scared out of my skin when riding with those girls over the mountains when they, too, were following the speed limit. I felt totally helpless, only to hold tightly on to my seat! When I got back home and began driving my mother around again, I understood how history is constantly in the making. I am now in my mother's position with my daughter! Enjoyed your writing. Hope this finds you in good health and good spirits. miscellanea |
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2dalimit Member Elite
since 2000-02-08
Posts 2228Mississippi coast |
That is indeed a great write. I can relate. Thanks, Melton |
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kaile
since 2000-02-06
Posts 5146singapore |
but i'm sure you forged an emotional connection with your children that would be hard to replicate if you were an older father. well, at least, this observation is based on my personal experience with my students. anyway, don't take it too hard. heh.  |
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Larry C
since 2001-09-10
Posts 10286United States |
Miscie, It is amazing the interaction or lack of it between generations. We each know so much and the pity is how long we take to realize we don't know it all and aren't the only ones that know. But at least you survived your trip. And thanks for reading and sharing.  Melton, Thanks and I believe that's a good sign.  Kaile, You do know how to put a smile on my face. And just so you know the point of the write is that I went trhough life acting just like my son and now realize my dad's perspective. Growing older has incredible rewards but some of the insights also provide reasons for regrets. All is well as I don't find reasons to put greater demands on my son in the hopes that he will not repeat my mistakes. Besides that's one of the reasons to have children for what they teach us.  If tears could build a stairway and memories a lane, |
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kaile
since 2000-02-06
Posts 5146singapore |
haha. i can so relate. now that i am a teacher, i have become long-winded and naggy.....like my mum! |
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amusemi Senior Member
since 2001-12-08
Posts 1262A State of Disarray |
So full of truth...well done. |
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Larry C
since 2001-09-10
Posts 10286United States |
Kaile, Well then, I'm sure I like your mom too! And thanks for sharing. amusemi, Thank you, thank you. If tears could build a stairway and memories a lane, |
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GG Member Elite
since 2002-12-03
Posts 3532Lost in thought |
Nosir, I don't believe you. It may not be the same as when they were kids, but they still hear you, watch you, listen and learn from you. And isn't it great that you can learn from them, too? You're a great man to learn from - I sure hope they see that. Take care, pops ~alyssa Hupomeno. |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
quote: Many a parent believes a child knows his/her full history simply based on osmosis: they were here when this happened; they should remember. Not always so, as even in our youth, and even though we may have been in the same room, life has a way of preoccupying our brain as to what we wish to hear, see, sense, touch, taste, etc. Remember, too, my friend, that no two people in a room of three will ever remember things as to how they really took place. Each will have his/her own different slant on the moment. Now, go and ask your children, "is there anything you'd like to know?" and don't be surprised if they say, "yes." |
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Larry C
since 2001-09-10
Posts 10286United States |
Dear Alyssa, You know it's always good to be open. And I certainly have learned much from you. Thanks for your perspective and for being such a faithful friend. Ah Karilea, Well a good lecture never hurt anybody. Perhaps it was a pity party. Though I saw it more from when I was that age and reflecting on my thoughts towards my dad. Doesn't make me right I know. and thanks for the encouragement. If tears could build a stairway and memories a lane, |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Nah, not lectures...stories!  |
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BluesSerenade Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549By the Seaside |
I am so there, and struggling with the feelings you write of. It's tough going both ways here. I find myself taking into consideration the young person I was (after all I was their age once, even though our kids can't quite grasp that concept) and wishing for more time with my parents as well as reflecting on my own parenting skills as a young mother so many years ago. Then trying to tell the story so my young adult children might have a better understanding of the long and winding road...perhaps to spare them some of my own regrets. Yes, history does indeed repeat itself, because we as human beings must learn from our own mistakes. However, I don't necessarily like to think of them as mistakes, more like life's lessons we must learn on our own in order to understand the true bond and all the love that transpires between parent and child. It is lovely what you wrote, and I thank you for putting the feelings into words, Larry. |
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Gaelynsgirl Member
since 2008-07-18
Posts 175Ont. Canada |
You have me thinking of Steve Pinker's Blank Slate with this wonderful write. - How as parents we want our children to recognize the impact of the negative and positive motivations in our lives. And whatever the root of that behavior, we will be responsible for how we respond to either side of the coin, as we strive to understand our purpose here at this time, in this place. We do the best we can, and we love, we love, and we continue to love...What we do in their lives has so much more impact than what we say. Thank you for sharing this... Lynda |
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Larry C
since 2001-09-10
Posts 10286United States |
Karilea, I mean a little by you to me. Yeah, stories are always good. Especially from you. Thanks.Bluesy, Ah dear friend you are spot on to where I was coming from. I like it when we connect like that! Peace. Lynda, Can't say I'm familiar with that writing. Then again my reading is not to in tune with anybody else.  Thanks for the kind thoughts and for sharing. It's nice to meet you. If tears could build a stairway and memories a lane, |
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latearrival Member Ascendant
since 2003-03-21
Posts 5499Florida |
Larry my son, we really learn by example. No need to try "to teach". I loved my Dad and he taught me so much just by being there and living his life the way he did.. You might be surprised if you were to one day happen to hear your son talking to someone, or even to you, and hear your words being repeated with love. Best to you, "late" |
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Larry C
since 2001-09-10
Posts 10286United States |
Late, You know stating things candidly does always really represent in a sensitive way and has the potential to offend. And as I reflect on this piece I would hope that my son doesn't read this. I have no grudge and I am not offended by what I present in this piece as my children not needing my knowledge. I saw it more as a confession of my own errors and seem them repeated generationally. More recently my son has expressed appreciation to me for character traits that he is recognizing in himself and crediting to me as the source. That's the beauty of life, it is never static. Turns out we never stop learning. Thanks for your reply, your observations and your friendship. If tears could build a stairway and memories a lane, |
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latearrival Member Ascendant
since 2003-03-21
Posts 5499Florida |
Larry, do not worry if your son sees it or not. He will understand. We all had times when we thought our parents were not understanding, but as we look back we understand them better. I have a habit of remembering all the hurtful things my monm said to me and forget the good ones. Actually I can not remember many good ones but I do remember some of her helpful ideas and her great sense of humor. Maybe it was just me thinking I did not measure up to her. Who really understands how we mature and grow, sometines so slow?.....best to you. I have missed reading you so went back to look."late" |
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latearrival Member Ascendant
since 2003-03-21
Posts 5499Florida |
Larry, Had to share this with you. Just recently my (Second eldest!) son and I took a fast, very fast trip, back to conn. We flew up via a very complicated route to save some money. Took four planes to get from Jacksonville Fl. to New Haven Ct. but had a good time doing it. Same routes back which made two whole days flying and only two days to visit the grand kids. At any rate he and I had two days of fun as the others were working. And two evenings and a few lunches with the kids and grands. But he and I had time to drive the shore line and really enjoyed the time we shared a lone. We had lunch out and toured William Gilettes Castle. He was the Sherlock Holmes actor and had built this stone casrtle in the high Conn. woods. It was so much fun and because my son had been there before he enjoyed showing it to me. After we were home I sent him a thank you note to tell him how much I enjoyed our trip together. He called to tell me he recieved the card and said, when he arrived home he told his lady friend," I just spent four days with my mother and I had a good time". I laughed and said were you that surprised. He said yes, because he had never planned to be doing so much driving, and really having a good time doing it. Just a share. You have a nice brother..LOL "late" |
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