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Alison
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Member Rara Avis
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318
Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy!

0 posted 2008-04-29 01:12 AM


Funny how I come here to write when I feel so lost.  Usually I write and post what I have written onto the page of blue.  Tonight, I just want to write of my friend, Cade.  There is no place in my heart for edited emotions right now.  There is only this deep sense of loss and sadness.  

I knew this day was coming - and for the last week or so, I hoped it would come soon for him.  Cade was in pain all the time.  No one wants people they love to be in pain.  But, why does death have to be the only option sometimes?  Why didn't he get the time he needed?  I know that there is really never enough time.  I know that he was ready to die and meet whatever death brings.  He once was afraid to die.  He had night terrors over this fear.  Lately, he had moved from the fear to a desire to end the pain.

That is what makes me so angry.  Cade should have had time between knowing he would die and the act of dying.  He should have had some pain-free time with his family at home.  He should have been able to walk on the beach he loved.  Cade deserved some time to say goodbye in his own way.  He didn't deserve to be imprisoned by pain and advanced cancer.  

Cliches race through my mind.  The good die young.  It was his time.  He's in a better place.  Time heals all wounds.  

I am angry and I question.  Somethings are unfair and there is no rhyme, reason, or cliche' that can bring solace.  I know how hard it is for my mother to outlive her only son.  Now, I think of Cade's father.  He had three sons and has outlived them all.  All are dead within a matter of years - all were in the prime of their lives.  There is nothing kind or fair in this.  Cade was his father's rock.  He was the solid son.  The one that all looked to for comfort and strength.  What is fair about this?  What is right?  He wasn't looking for a "better place" - he loved the place he had.

I love Cade.  He will be with me forever.  The hole opened today will never be filled - I will miss a man who became one of my best friends.

Cade, I love you.  I miss you.  You made us all proud.

---

Your friend,
Ali

© Copyright 2008 Alison - All Rights Reserved
Roniece Dawson-Bruce
Member Ascendant
since 2000-01-29
Posts 5689
Sydney, Australia
1 posted 2008-04-29 04:59 AM


I send my love and hugs to you Ali..I wish I could just hug you and hold you while you cry..sadness is never easy... but love will get you thru...  I'm here for you my sweet sweet friend..  love RDB

At my father in laws funeral today, the celebrant asked us to acknowledge someone dear to them and thank them for being your friend...this I say to you, thank you Ali for being my friend. you are precious to my life ... love RDB

Be kind at heart....for everyone you meet has their own battle to fight.........

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
2 posted 2008-04-30 11:14 PM


The love you have and the pain you feel for your friend Cade pours out onto the pages...hugs...James
Alison
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Member Rara Avis
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318
Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy!
3 posted 2008-05-01 02:15 AM


Roniece and James,

Thank you for the comfort that you have offered me.  Cade has been a wonderful part of my life.  I am lucky to have known him - and to love him.

With loves and hugs back to you both,
Alison

latearrival
Member Ascendant
since 2003-03-21
Posts 5499
Florida
4 posted 2008-09-24 04:26 AM


"Cade has been a wonderful part of my life"

And my dear Allison, so shall he always be. As the days and years go by, he will be there always. You never lose a loved one through death. Each conversation becomes more clear and you will remember and find newness in his words. Bless you for you have loved some one enough..."late"

Alison
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318
Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy!
5 posted 2008-09-27 07:03 PM


late,

Thank you and you are right .. but for one thing.  I am the one who was blessed by his friendship.  He never will leave me and I hold him close always.

Alison

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