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openthoughts
Member
since 2006-01-16
Posts 94
Where the child can be free

0 posted 2008-04-06 05:57 PM


A Life of Minutes (Part II)

I like the way the clouds make shapes. First, they’re one thing. Then they split apart or stretch and you can’t find the shape anymore so you have to find a new one. And the best part is, if you can see it in a cloud then nobody can say you don’t. Cloud shapes can be anything you want. Like the large one, at the corner of the window. That one was an eagle. Then it became a dolphin. I wish I was a dolphin. They never seem lonely. I would like to be a dolphin.

My head stung but I didn’t cry. I wanted to, but I didn’t. They would make fun of me if I cried. I just turned around. Danny and Timmy were giggling. They looked like girls. I picked the pencil up and watched them and they kept trying to not laugh. It made them look so stupid. Giggling and snorting like that. I laughed too because they were laughing and they looked really funny with their faces all smooshed up like that. This made them laugh harder. My face got really hot, like when I was in Arizona last year and the sun was mean and burnt me. Except I wasn’t angry when the sun was mean because the sun is mean to everybody and not just me. Danny and Timmy don’t throw pencils at everybody during class. They just throw pencils at me.

Recess.

The word was in my head and not in my ears. In my ears, there was a buzzing noise, like when all the colors show up on the T.V. and the shows go away and don’t come back for a really long time. But when the T.V. starts making funny buzzing noises, I’m not trying to listen to my show because the show isn’t there. And I can make them go away. I can turn off the T.V. and do something else. I can’t turn off my ears. I’d be a lot happier if I could turn down the volume on the buzzing and raise the volume on the rest of the world. I would know what was happening all the time like the other kids.

Timmy was laughing again. He looked angry too now. This made me confused. People laugh when they are happy. I know that for a fact because I read it in this book I have. I don’t remember the name. I don’t remember a lot of things. My dad gets angry because I forget things all the time. I try to remember but it’s hard when I need to remember not to forget. Trying to remember not to forget makes me forget things. Timmy was still laughing but I don’t know why.

You’re not allowed to play.

Play what? I didn’t want to play anything. I wanted to be left alone. I wanted to go to the bench in the back of the playground and read. Or find the cloud shapes. Why would I want to play? Nobody ever picks me for anything, even though I’m really good. I’m the fastest person in the school. Anthony thinks he’s faster than me but I know it’s not true. I beat him when we raced. He said his leg hurt. I thought that was funny because if he had won, his leg wouldn’t have hurt. I told people this and they just said his leg hurt and I didn’t really win.

I sat alone on the bench and opened my book. It was a book on snakes because I want to learn about snakes now. I used to learn about sharks but one day all the books began to say the same things and a lot of them forgot to say things so I stopped reading about sharks. It’s ok though. Snakes are interesting too. Some have rattles that tell people when the snake is angry. I had a rattle too when I was a lot littler but I don’t think it said that I was angry. If my rattle said that I was angry then my mom and dad wouldn’t have let me keep it. Some have really big fangs that people are afraid of. The snakes. Not the rattles. Rattles don’t have fangs. I wish I had fangs too. They’d be made out of really sharp pencils and I would smile and Timmy would be really afraid. I would smile and he would be really afraid and he’d run away from me and I would laugh at him. Except I wouldn’t look like a girl when I laughed.
It got darker but I could still read.

He’s deaf AND dumb!

I couldn’t read anymore because my book was gone. Timmy had it. Danny was next to him. I didn’t like Timmy touching my book. I would have let him if he had asked but he didn’t and that made me angry. My face got hot again but it was different this time. I was making it hot. Timmy opened the book and turned a page. I heard it tear and my hand became a fist. He wasn’t reading it. I don’t think Timmy knows how to read. He’s too stupid. I said that to him. You’re too stupid to read that Timmy so don’t try. He looked at me and I guess his face was getting hot too because it started turning hot colors like orange and red. He tore a page from my snake book out. My hands began to hurt. My hand on the right started to twitch a little even though I didn’t say that my hand should twitch. Timmy threw the book over the fence into the woods. This made me stand up and shout the words “Timmy, you are an idiot.” I don’t like to say words like that but my mouth decided to and my brain didn’t tell it not to so I did. Timmy pushed me back down on the bench and this made me hit my head. My eyes started to get wet. I hate crying and I hate when people see me cry. I don’t want to be weak.

Here’s your book back.

The page was on my lap. It was one of the picture pages. This one showed a snake about to eat a mouse. I felt bad for the mouse. I wanted to be the snake. There was something wet on the back of my head. My mouth was tight. My hands were white. I stood up again. My brain didn’t say anything. My arm was moving. I was smiling.

---------------------------------------------------

I was smiling. There was ice on my head. My hand hurt. The chair made a squeaking noise that was really funny. I bounced up and down. I liked this chair.

We’ve called your parents something something something, the principal said. I was still bouncing and the chair was still squeaking.
What did you call them, I asked him. His face got red.

We called them down down to the office, he said. I just nodded. I didn’t want to talk to him. Why did you do it, he asked me.

Do what, I asked him.

Do not toy with me son, he said.

You’re not my dad, I said. He pulled out a folder with only one piece of paper in it. Why would you have a folder for only one piece of paper, I asked.
Because we have reason to expect a lot more, he said. I didn’t know what that meant so I just smiled and said OK. People like it when you smile a lot and agree with them. Especially grown-ups. Plus, I didn’t need to know what they were saying to smile and say OK. It was easy to do. He just shook his head and that made me feel like saying OK was wrong. I wanted to say I was sorry.

But the door made a funny noise. It was like the chair except louder and it made me laugh too. The principal got up but was still looking at me while I was laughing which made me uncomfortable so I stopped. Then he looked at something behind me. I wanted to know what he was looking at but I didn’t look because I was too nervous. The principal staring at me funny made me feel that way. I’m so glad you could something something short notice, he said. There were toys on the principal’s desk that were a lot of fun to play with. There was even a pretend snake that was soft and fuzzy but it didn’t have fangs like the snakes in my books. It was smiling because it was fake. Real snakes don’t smile. Neither do sharks. I wonder if that means that real snakes and sharks are never happy. Mom and Dad sat down next to me so that Dad was on my right and Mom was on my left and they weren’t smiling either. I was surprised because Mom only comes to my school sometimes to pick me up instead of making me take the bus or when I have a concert and Dad doesn’t ever come unless I have a concert because he works at his office all day. The principal wasn’t looking at me anymore. He was only looking at Mom and Dad. He had a smile like the snake on his desk. Mom said, what is this all about Mr. Warner? Mr. Warner was the principal.
Your son another boy during recreation today, said the principal. My son wouldn’t do that, Mom said. Dad didn’t say anything. He did, said the principal. Then why is my son holding a bag of ice, Mom asked. I asked if I could throw the bag out because the ice was melting and leaking down my shirt. Nobody answered me but the principal held out a garbage pail so I slam-dunked the ice bag and yelled “two points” because that’s how many points someone scores when they slam-dunk in a basketball game. Dad just looked at me and said, not now kiddo. I nodded and looked out the window at a bird that was pecking at the ground. It was red and gray and very very small. Who said that, asked Mom. Said what, I asked. Mom told me that it was nothing so I went back to watching the bird. It flew away and I just stared out the window and imagined flying away too. A fair of children have and they saw your son the other boy first, the principal said. I refuse to believe that. Dad reached over me and put his hand on Mom’s knee. Mom stopped talking. What is he talking about Mom, I asked Mom. She put one finger to her lips and let her air out. This told me to be quiet so I was. Why did he do it, Dad asked. I don’t know, said the principal. He won’t tell me.
Did you ask?

Of course I did.

He never asked me, I told Dad. The principal stood up and put both hands on his desk. Do not lie, he said. I wasn’t lying. I’m not lying, I said. The principal’s face turned red. Did he ask you, Mom said. I don’t remember, I told Mom. The principal’s face turned redder. Which is it, she asked. I was confused. Which is what, I asked. He never asked or you don’t remember, she asked. I didn’t remember the principal ever asking me because he never asked me. I told that to Mom. Dad let a lot of air out of his mouth with a whooshing noise. How can he not remember, the principal asked really loud. It was a question but it wasn’t a question for me because the principal wasn’t looking at me. He was looking at Mom. Do not yell at my son, Mom said back to the principal with less noise than the principal used. He wasn’t yelling at me though. He was yelling at Mom. That made me even more confused. Mom wasn’t the one in trouble and you only yell at people when you’re angry at them because they did something wrong. I wasn’t listening before but when things are loud, I listen better. I was listening hard now. The principal was yelling at Mom. Mom was yelling at Dad and the principal. Dad was telling them both to be quiet. I had to go to the bathroom. I got out of my chair and started to go to the bathroom. Then I remembered that I was supposed to ask before I went anywhere so I yelled that I had to go to the bathroom. Nobody said anything back to me so I left. I could still hear the yelling in the hallway. I went to the bathroom and stood at the same toilet that I always stood at. Arty walked in. I didn’t like Arty all that much. It took him forever to say one thing because he said the same words over and over like, hey hey hey hey. It made me bored listening to him. He stood at the toilet next to me. That was the other reason I didn’t like him. He stood too close to people.

Did—did—did you—did you---did you hear—what—did you hear what

I stopped listening and stared at a hole in the wall. What if there was a family of really tiny people that lived in the wall? Or maybe lots of creepy bugs. I didn’t really like bugs all that much. I started to picture a million bugs coming out of the wall and it made me shiver like I was cold. I stopped going to the bathroom and went to wash my hands. A lot of boys didn’t wash their hands after using the bathroom. Sometimes that made me sick to think about so I tried not to.

Hey, Arty yelled.

Hey what, I said.

I asked did you—did you—did you hear what happened?

I don’t know. What happened?

Somebody beat---somebody beat—somebody beat up—Timmy—somebody beat up Timmy.

I remembered recess when Timmy tore my snake book.

Good, I said. I hate Timmy. He’s stupid.  Arty didn't say anything.  He wasn't even looking at me.  I could tell he wanted to keep talking about it so I asked him what happened.

I don’t—I don’t—I don’t know. I-I heard he-heard he wasn't doing any-any-anything.  Just talk-tal-talking to some kid and-and the kid pun-pun-punched him.

I thought for a moment. I remembered hitting Timmy in the face. Oh yeah, I said. I beat Timmy up. He tore my snake book.

No way, Arty yelled.  Why would you do that?  He wasn't doing anything to you!  He ran away out of the bathroom.  He tore my snake book, I said, even though Arty wasn't going to hear me anymore.  He had forgotten to wash his hands.  I always wash my hands because it’s really gross not to. Mom told me that and I remember it every time I go to the bathroom. I finished washing my hands and walked back to the principal’s office as slowly as I could. I didn’t want to go back to the yelling. I really don’t like yelling. I like quiet. Quiet things don’t hurt your ears and I don’t have to listen to figure out what’s going on. I got bored walking really slow though so I hummed a song that I made up. I knew it wasn’t a good song but it was my song and so I liked it. I started stepping on the tiles on the floor to “keep the beat” of the song and I made sure not to step on any cracks. I know Mom’s back won’t break if I do step on the cracks but for some reason, I don’t like to anyway. I also know about “keeping the beat” from music with Ms. Laney. I could tell my song had a beat. I was being really careful to make my feet and the beat match. I had to watch my feet just to make sure. This made me bump into something because I wasn’t watching where I was going.

Dad grabbed me by the shoulders and asked me where I had been. I didn’t answer because he was holding me too hard and because I had forgotten. He asked me again and I just looked at him. I couldn’t make words come out. Mom came up behind Dad and asked the same thing Dad did except she also said that they had been worried. I remembered then that I had gone to the bathroom so I told them. They told me to tell them next time and somebody would go with me. I had told them I was going.
I did say I was going to the bathroom, I told Mom and Dad. Dad said that next time I should make sure somebody heard me. I didn’t know how to do that but I just nodded because I really didn’t know what else to say.

We went back to the principal’s office. I laughed because I kept using my imagination to watch the principal’s head explode. I thought it would too. He was really red.

Mrs. Woermer went on the announcements and said all students could be dismissed. I was glad I had missed the rest of school that day.

Is there anything else you’d like to say, Mom asked.

The principal had his fingers crossed. He looked at me and said that if something like this happened again, I would be suspended. I knew what that meant and I didn’t want to be suspended. I couldn’t think why I would be suspended though. I hadn’t done anything. Mom and Dad nodded.

Come on, said Dad. We’re leaving now.

As we walked out of school, I pulled on Mom’s sleeve to let her know I wanted to say something.
Mom.

What did I do?

[This message has been edited by openthoughts (04-06-2008 10:15 PM).]

© Copyright 2008 openthoughts - All Rights Reserved
Larrysmom
Senior Member
since 2008-04-03
Posts 533
Florida, USA
1 posted 2008-04-06 06:45 PM


Openthoughts,

This is an incredible piece!!! Oh it hooked me from the beginning and would not let go until the end!!!! AWESOME write!!!!

Tammy<333

Larrysmom
Senior Member
since 2008-04-03
Posts 533
Florida, USA
2 posted 2008-04-06 07:40 PM


I also wanted to say, that you completely captured the essence of the young boy. I could clearly see him, hear him, and feel his emotions and thoughts… Excellent writing.

Tammy<333

LittleLotte
New Member
since 2008-04-04
Posts 6

3 posted 2008-04-12 05:17 PM


really enjoyed how unique this is (at least from a lot of things I've read)- sentence structure matched the voice perfectly - also thought the omission of quotation marks was interesting, a good way to keep the reader's frame of reference in the little boy's head where you really want it to be.  :-)    
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