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My Friend, Cade
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My Friend, Cade |
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Alison 
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy! 
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My friend, Cade, is not a eulogy or a memory. My friend, Cade, is dying. He is alive and scared and loving and – oh so – incredibly special. My friend, Cade, is my hero. I was writing in an on line site filled with problems and drama – and then I noticed a man who wrote with compassion and strength. That man is now my friend, Cade. He was my nighttime friend. Cade and I would sit up and talk while I was writing poetry or listening to music. When I would see my friend come on my Instant Message, I would rush to show him what I had written and he always has taken time to read it – to smile – to tell me how he liked what I had shared. We talked about the people in our lives – our interests – our shared love of the beach. He is a swimmer and a surfer. I am a beachcomber loving foggy days. Cade is an athletic man. His body won’t do these things any longer, but his mind still longs to run marathons, play a good game of golf with his Dad, surf the big waves, ride his Harley, and all the other things I continue to learn that he once did. My friend, Cade, became ill last August (2007) and has spent most of the time since then in the hospital. His body rejected two kidneys that were transplanted from family members. He did not recover as expected. Test after test. Days ticking by. In and out of ICU. Yet, he has not quit. I told him one day that he is a true warrior. Warriors don’t always wear armor. He fights every day. He fights fear. He fights pain. He fights anger. He fights to believe. He fights to accept care. He fights to remain alive. He wants to live. Cade is a young man with hopes and dreams that will never materialize. Cade does not want to die. He wants to take care of his family and enjoy life with them. He wants to out-live his Dad, as sons are supposed to do. He wants marriage and children. Cade wants to live life as life is meant to be lived. He has seen two brothers die – and he has held his family together with his guidance and love. Even as a boy, he was the one his brothers and sisters relied on. He is the steadfast one – and now, his father asks if Cade is needed elsewhere to rein in his brothers. Just as he used to have to do when they were younger. I don’t know. I just know that this man is remarkable. I have met many kind people in my life – and Cade is one of them. He is not special because he is better than anyone. He is special because he is not afraid to be himself – the best of himself that he can be. He is not afraid to love and cry. He is not afraid to sit with a woman like me and talk about poetry. He is not afraid to give me comfort – even now when he faces the biggest questions of his life. I don’t know why Cade is going to die. I am angry and I know that the world is losing a good person. I don’t know the why’s. I only know one thing – I am blessed to have Cade as my friend. I believe that eulogies are a waste. I believe in telling people while they are alive how special they are and how much they have impacted me. Cade, you are remarkable! I love you, Ali [This message has been edited by Alison (04-04-2008 11:43 PM).] |
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| © Copyright 2008 Alison - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Roniece Dawson-Bruce Member Ascendant
since 2000-01-29
Posts 5689Sydney, Australia |
Ali-girl... my tears are flowing at the beauty within you and the love you have for your wonderful friend Cade... may there be many more Cade's in our lives to touch us and remind us we are all here on this earth for a reason... I love you very much.. love RDB Be kind at heart....for everyone you meet has their own battle to fight......... |
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Larrysmom Senior Member
since 2008-04-03
Posts 533Florida, USA |
The emotion with which you chose your words is tremendous. Truly beautiful and powerful… Tammy<333 |
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Alison
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy! |
Roniece and Tammy, Thank you for reading, sharing my pain and understanding. Roniece, your time with me tonight was a gift that made me smile. Thank you for taking care of me when I thought I was incosolable (however that is spelled). xoxoxo to you both, Ali |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Splendid....thanks for sharing...James |
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Alison
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy! |
James, Thank you. I write when I am sad, happy, angry - whatever emotion, I seem to find my way through it by writing. Alison |
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Margherita Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236Eternity |
Yes, dear Alison, this is very sad and I understand your emotional involvement with this young man as he struggles for life. When we have no answers, we feel lost in the fog of life and even angry. It is difficult sometimes to surrender to what is and to think that everything happens for a reason. I have not yet heard a satisfying reason for suffering. Your love accompanies dear Cade beautifully. God bless. Love and hugs. Margherita  |
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Alison
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy! |
Dear Margherita, Thank you, lovely one. I try to believe that there is a reason that we don't understand - it's hard though. I write for Cade and share all with him. He says it helps him feel like he can share his feelings of loss and fear more easily. I post here in case it helps someone else - or just because it helps me to read what others think. Others like you, my friend. Love, Alison |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Alison, The loss of my brother over two years ago is as fresh as the day before he left us, saying to me on the IM, "I'll be waiting for you, Sis! Love you!" Some months prior to that time, I had just started to share my brother with PiP, and he shared himself as well, just as Cade is doing with you, now. No, my dear, we will never know the "why's" of it all, so we persevere to make the best of the hours we have together.  |
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Claira Member
since 2008-05-11
Posts 102British but living in Thailand |
Alison, my heart goes out to you. It such a horrible thing to know you are going to lose someone you love, who has impacted on your life so much. I totally agree about telling someone how much they mean to you while we have the chance. Claire |
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