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Spoken Like A True Hero...
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Spoken Like A True Hero... |
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CrAzI_bAbI_cHiKa Member
since 2003-07-16
Posts 248
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He almost always spoke without clarity, mumbling his words and slurring sentences together. If I hadn't known him all my life, I might think that he had drunk himself this way. But I knew better; Ryan had never been blessed with the gift of gab. Preferring to stay the silent type, if not strong as well, he was the type of guy that could usually draw a flock of gaggling girls with barely a look, a characteristic that, as his older sister, often disgusted me. But right now, even a million lovestruck girls couldn't help him. Standing up on that stage, ready to deliver a speech that would mark a miraculous change in his life, he appeared calm, but in his eyes was a fire of nervousness. He smiled, stumbled, ...wait...breathe...good. now go again then regained his composure. Stepping up to position, millions of eyes upon him, he adjusted a small microphone. Bowing his head, he took a deep breath, and I stopped breathing. Standing on tiptoes, I watched his hand grip at something in his sleeve, hidden to the masses. Pretending to clear his throat, I watched as Ryan softly kissed his hidden momento, a rememberance of our past and a symbol of his faith in God: My mother's stainless steel Cross. That was the moment I stopped worrying for my kid ...he's not a kid, he's thirty-six!...no, we're still kids. i have yet to go to law school...he's yet to get on the ballot...i'm not old yet. brother. Suddenly, I knew he would overcome. "My Fellow Americans, Welcome. There are no words adequate to express my thanks for the great honor that you have bestowed on me. I have taken my oath, and I will do my utmost to follow in the footprints of our noble President Bush. I would like nothing more than to thank you, every one of you, and to ask for God to bless each of you...." A/N...I honestly have no idea. P.S. I find President Bush to be anything but noble...and I am nowhere close to being 37y.o +. P.P.S...I'm already regretting posting this. haha. Be brutal. Have fun. Sorry for wasting 2 minutes+ of your life. When I'm good, I'm very good. But when I'm bad I'm better. |
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| © Copyright 2006 Keryn - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
Never regret writing something. If it sucks, rewrite it. If you hate it, rewrite it till you love it. Never ever delete or throw it out. This was like a character piece, letting us see a snippit of your character. At first I thought it was a shy teen addressing a school meeting. Until you said 'millions of eyes'..hmm... I enjoyed it and think you are a good writer. I look forward to reading more! |
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rhia_5779 Senior Member
since 2006-06-09
Posts 1334California |
Was much suprised at the president part. Minor notices, to make it more credible . Make this longer , draw it out play with it. Back to credbile,if hes gonna be Prez. he would get elected at 37, that way to young. He needs to have political experience and being able to speak well to people is a trait he would need to. So maybe not have him be president. |
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fractal007 Senior Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 1958 |
Now now, hold on about all those PS's. This story really intrigued me. There's nothing wrong with playing the part of a guy or gal whose ideas you don't agree with. It's part of writing and it's fun. Anyway, I liked the mixture of different styles and the flow of thoughts in this narrative. Any idiot can see that the result is true. |
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