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Professor Gloom
Member Elite

since 2000-07-23

Posts 3082
of Depression

0 posted 2005-10-03 08:50 AM

Sure I just stand quiet, as my mother introduces me to someone I’ve known for three years as her baby boy, as if we’ve just met for the very first time. I don’t say anything, no corrections, no matter how she gets the facts wrong. There never has been a thing about my age, I know I’m old, but being thirty again is not something I wish to be. Even though I’ve pointed out my new sporty black car, she remembers the old red economy car from a time I was barely scrapping by in life. She likes to talk about dead people as if they’ll walk through the door and take a seat, which I truly wish they would ( but that is a different write). Yes. her mind is slipping into a fog. Each week it is a little deeper, a little thicker, a little harder to accept. I guess it’s nice that I can have the same conversation with her four or five times a day and it’s fresh each time, but I miss those other conversations where she’d give insight to what was going on in my life.
My mother has Alzheimer’s
And as I visit her every Sunday
I watch her drift deeper into the fog.

Gloom

Martie

Moderator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-09-21

Posts 28049
California

1 posted 2005-10-03 01:24 PM

I know how hard this is....because of my grandmother. Most of the time she thought I was my mom. My best to you.

Marge Tindal

Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-06

Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores

2 posted 2005-10-03 02:03 PM

This penning tenderly touches those who are touched by Alzheimer's ... the one sure thing I can tell you (or anyone dealing with an Alzheimer's patient) is that in this case, the fog is not so dense as to block her 'knowing' that you still are her 'baby boy'~
For some .. even that gets fogged out~

How poignant the reality of life in this~
*Huglets*

~*Marge*~

~*No matter what I search for ...
let me know when it is LOVE that I find*~ <))><

Email - noles1@totcon.com

miscellanea
Member Elite

since 2004-06-24

Posts 4060
OH

3 posted 2005-10-04 09:50 PM

Professor,
Such a poignant write, full of heart. I believe Marge said it much better than I could. Wishing there was something I could do to help, but I guess there isn't... Though she might not be able to offer the specific verbal support, I feel she must have offered her tools over the years to help you and other family through. Take care, Professor.
miscellanea

Midnitesun

Member Empyrean

since 2001-05-18

Posts 28647
Gaia

4 posted 2005-10-04 11:57 PM

I think I understand how you feel, minding...yet not minding, how you were introduced.
The mind is so fragile, and when it is robbed of part of its history by this illness, everyone who is a part of that history gets scrambled. But you ARE still her boy, and its great that she is aware of that. My mother spoke to me about me...as if I were a total stranger who just happened to visit. We were never close, so this wasn't terribly surprising to me. This went on for six years, and actually got much worse. She asked the nurse who my step-dad was, after 40 years of marriage. All she knew was that this 'nice man' visited her once a day, and she didn't know why. It nearly broke his heart. And she thought my brother was her brother.
Hugs to you in this difficult time.

iliana
Member Patricius

since 2003-12-05

Posts 13434
USA

5 posted 2005-10-13 12:11 PM

All I can say is

Joyce Johnson

Member Rara Avis

since 2001-03-10

Posts 9912
Washington State

6 posted 2005-10-23 07:46 PM

I am so sorry. This happens so often. We buried a beautiful lady from our church this week who had a splendid, caring and giving life and then ended her last few years with this heart breaking disease. It is as if we were burying her for the second time.

I do hope the fog lifts enough from your Mom's memorty that she realizes that you love her and are there for her. Joyce

fractal007
Senior Member

since 2000-06-01

Posts 1958

7 posted 2006-05-07 11:01 PM

I like how this one isn't too overly sentimental. There's a twinge of annoyance in the speaker's writing when he tells us about his mother getting the facts about his car wrong.

At the same time, the repetition of the fog is good. You don't mince words at the end. The fog recurrs again this time in the context of the matter of fact "My mother has Alzheimer’s."

Clang
Member

since 2005-12-15

Posts 222

8 posted 2006-05-07 11:27 PM

I think it is becoming more and more important for us to talk about the illnesses attributed to aging and how they affect loved ones. Our society is going to be bombarded with those who suffer from illnesses like Alzheimers and Dementia in the coming years, because our population is healthier physcally longer and more susceptable to the illnesses that afffect the aging mind.
Awareness is nearly as important as the need for support systems to help those who are not experiencing the disease, yet still are affected.
I hope you have some support to help you. Taking care of your needs is just as important, if not more, than taking care of your mother.
I wish for you strength and good will.
Great write.

[This message has been edited by Clang (05-08-2006 06:09 PM).]

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