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Larry C
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0 posted 2005-10-01 01:59 PM



Unexpectedly
By Larry Chadwick


It came from nowhere, which seems to be the case with the worst of times and occasionally the best of times. I like that about life, no warning I mean. After all, good surprises are hard to top; and who wants to know of seriously bad times before they happen? Yet it is easy to be apprehensive about phone calls that are unexpected. Even when, or especially when, it is one you love calling.

Men seem to have a challenge as they grow older with managing their tears. Emotions seem to move closer to the surface with age. Oddly some men are not happy about that. Fortunately I was raised on the “big boys are not afraid to cry” theory. My dad seemed to grow more sensitive than the average man with age and with no shame. (I sure do miss him.) I have simply picked up where he left off.

For years now I was gauging the emotional responses of my son. At an early age he seemed to not be much into displays of affection. But we’re all individuals and I chose not to be critical of a less engaging style. Still I prodded him to establish friendships and not be content to be a loner. Like his father he was a determined individualist and I certainly liked that.

Saturday evenings tend to have a pattern in our life and this one seemed to be no exception. My in-laws were over for an evening of food, games and chatter. It was then that my phone rang. I answered. My son’s phone calls always have a purpose. A specific topic. Never just a “hi” or “how are you?”. Something about his tone told me this was not an ordinary telephone call.

I stepped outside into the dark to keep this moment private and just in case it was “one of those calls” without warning. It seems he was shopping for flowers for his girlfriend. (Did I mention how much he is like his dad?) While driving to the store he had been listening to Delilah, on the radio, play musical requests. A woman called in with a request for her husband who was discouraged. His father had just died and he was not coping very well. This piece of the puzzle was stacked on top of another.

A friend of my son’s was going through a divorce and had just acquired a pair of motorcycle dirt bikes. The divorcee and his son discovered, in their new hobby, that they are best friends which reminded my boy of his adolescence when he and I were drawn so tightly together during my divorce. And the final piece of the puzzle was that two years ago I had a heart attack and had flat lined.

So with all of these pieces packaged together my precious son was confronted unexpectedly with how fragile life is and how much his relationship with his dad truly meant to him. Immediately he used his cell phone to interrupt my Saturday night.

Without warning he found himself crying while trying urgently to express to me his feelings. Though he never heard “big boys don’t cry” he has always tried to live by that creed. Now in my middle age I found myself the beneficiary of the principle of aging emotions. It touched me deeply and is a cherished memory.

October 1, 2005




If tears could build a stairway and memories a lane, I'd walk right up to heaven and bring you home again.

© Copyright 2005 Larry Chadwick - All Rights Reserved
Martie
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since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
1 posted 2005-10-01 02:25 PM


Larry

Girls are expected to cry, I guess....and your story here made me puddle up a bit.  It made me remember one of the first times I realized that my oldest son was not a child but a man.  In the past, I was always the one that comforted him...but something had happened to me and I was crying, and he put his arms (big ones) around me in comfort.  Anyway, sorry to fun on about me...but I do really appreciate the love shown by you both in this story of a phonecall.  Thanks for posting it, Larry!  

nakdthoughts
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since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200
Between the Lines
2 posted 2005-10-03 11:09 AM


Wonderful writing Larry...I listen to Delilah all the time...didn't know she is "national".  The stories bring me to tears and always I feel a connection to those on the other end of the line.

I am happy for you that your son realizes the importance of caring for and sharing with his dad...

hugs
M


Larry C
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3 posted 2005-10-04 12:47 PM


Martie,
Silly me, I thought this place was about sharing. I love it when you "fun on" about you! And thanks for the kind words too.


Thank you M. You're the best. And yup she's national.

If tears could build a stairway and memories a lane, I'd walk right up to heaven and bring you home again.

Trillium
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4 posted 2005-10-22 07:39 PM


Dear Larry:  This is such a touching story and I must confess,  made my eyes water.  I have shed enough tears lately, that I am trying to be more stoic, but this made it very hard!  My daughter fell down a flight of stairs a week ago and is in rather fragile condition!  Hopefully, she is going to be all right in time. Somehow, this all tied in with what you are saying in your story!

Betty Lou

Betty Lou Hebert

Sunshine
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since 1999-06-25
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Listening to every heart
5 posted 2005-10-23 05:16 PM


quote:
My dad seemed to grow more sensitive than the average man with age and with no shame. (I sure do miss him.) I have simply picked up where he left off.

Larry, I cannot thank you enough for leaving some internal parts of manhood here, in prose, in life, in living, in love...

No, I cannot thank you enough.

All I can leave is a

Midnitesun
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Gaia
6 posted 2005-10-23 08:10 PM


It's always been hard for me to trust someone who could not cry. I know what you mean about wondering if your child will ever do that. And when they do, you cry too.
Larry C
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7 posted 2005-10-24 11:07 AM


Ah Betty Lou,
I honestly didn't mean to make you cry. But it was a milestone moment in my world that I just had to share. And thank you. I pray your daughter recovers quickly. (see announcements).


Well Karilea,
Hugs are a rich commodity that I am delighted you are so generous with as I am collecting all I can get. Thank you for such kind words.


Yup sis, ya' do. And I did and I know you will too. You're the best, thanks Kacy.

If tears could build a stairway and memories a lane, I'd walk right up to heaven and bring you home again.

Trillium
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8 posted 2005-10-24 06:11 PM


Dear Larry:  Thank you for placing  an annoucement about my daughter's accident. I do appreciate it very much.

Betty Lou

Betty Lou Hebert

Larry C
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9 posted 2005-10-24 08:12 PM


Betty Lou,
My son was in a head on collision 13 years ago and I found the accident site while it was still being worked by law enforcement. I know the agony of having an injured child. It was the least I could do. I pray she recovers 100%.

If tears could build a stairway and memories a lane, I'd walk right up to heaven and bring you home again.

Trillium
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Idaho, USA
10 posted 2005-10-25 12:32 PM


Larry:  Thank you!  I can imagine what agony it must have been for you to come upon the scene of your son's accident. I hope he recovered!

Betty Lou

Betty Lou Hebert

Larry C
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11 posted 2005-10-25 10:59 AM


Betty Lou,
Sorry about that. He did recover but it took months. And yes it was gut wrenching. Your daughter is lucky to have you. Peace.

If tears could build a stairway and memories a lane, I'd walk right up to heaven and bring you home again.

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