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Larry C
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0 posted 2005-05-16 07:17 PM



Time...Enemy or Friend?
By Larry Chadwick


Interesting, the dichotomy of time. As a child I saw relevance only when I was supposed to nap. And then it seemed it held me back. Even at five years of age I dreamed of being married. Like most boys I couldn’t wait to be sixteen and get my driver’s license. Eighteen was no big deal when I was growing up because you were not considered an adult until twenty-one. Since I had no intention of drinking and I had married at nineteen my twenty-first birthday was not that big of a deal.

I never could understand women who made a fuss about age. Forever twenty-nine just made no sense to me. And my friend who would not allow her grandchildren to call her grandma because she refused to be that old seemed to me to be out of her mind. Besides my aunt is sixty-five and she still has not grown up. So what is the big deal? Although I do remember referring to a forty-two year old guy as being old. I was repeating the story for the cazillionth time one day and had to stop because by then I was forty-two and had just come to the realization that he was not old. So I always struggled to see how people could see time as their enemy.

There has not been an age, yet, that I did not like. Not bad considering I am fifty-five. Of course by now I have grown to understand that people’s issue with age was not about living. It was about dying. Fear is not exactly one of my favorite emotions. So I do not want to waste my living worrying about my dying. It just seems foolish to me.

But I have found a new reason to declare time my friend. In two days it will be the third anniversary of my daughter’s death. (No pity required.) She lived a good and meaningful life for twenty-eight years. Her success as a high school teacher is envied by teachers who are retired. I would never be so ignorant as to minimize her death. It was the worst experience of my life. Sorrow and loss that I never expected to experience. A picture of her and her older brother sits at my desk. And I have her ring on a necklace I have not taken off. And of course there are the memories we spent a life time creating. Living without regrets is an amazing gift. But there is the pain of the loss. That is what I like about time. It cannot heal my broken heart but it can ease the pain. It’s a good thing too.
May 16, 2005


If tears could build a stairway and memories a lane, I'd walk right up to heaven and bring you home again.

© Copyright 2005 Larry Chadwick - All Rights Reserved
Midnitesun
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Gaia
1 posted 2005-05-16 09:28 PM


Time is tricky, isn't it? It really can soften the blow, can ease the pain.
No pity, but empathy. In March, Sara was kicked by a stallion, broke her collarbone. Had that hoof been an inch in another direction? well, you can imagine what my mind and imagination did to me that night.
She didn't cry, but mom sobbed after the wounded one fell asleep that night, arm in a sling. Time is good, she has healed nicely, and I count each day as a beautiful gift.

Mysteria
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2 posted 2005-05-16 10:30 PM


How true Larry, time is the only healer isn't it.
Martie
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3 posted 2005-05-16 11:25 PM


Dear Larry

"That is what I like about time. It cannot heal my broken heart but it can ease the pain. It’s a good thing too."

You know that I know this...for it has been many more years for me, yet still not enough, but pain has eased, it's true, and I'm sure glad it has for you.  


SEA
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with you
4 posted 2005-05-16 11:31 PM


(((next time, let me know it will make me cry ok? )))


understood and enjoyed this, but oh you made me cry...really not fair...good thing I have tissues close

Larry C
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5 posted 2005-05-17 05:29 PM


Midnite,
Just when we think reality is hard we realize what could have been...


Sharon,
Well, that and faith. But I know you know...


Martie,
Aw, how we long for that reunion above...then let eternity begin.


Susan,
Oops! Sorry 'bout that. Bunny hugs. And thanks for the read.

If tears could build a stairway and memories a lane, I'd walk right up to heaven and bring you home again.

kaile
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singapore
6 posted 2005-05-27 02:01 PM


you really add depth to your writings, don't you? i was nodding, envious of the go-with-the-flow, arms-embracing way you always live your life and then choked when i read your insights about cherishing a dearly departed.

bravo and hugs


Larry C
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7 posted 2005-05-27 06:57 PM


kaile,
You are generous indeed. Thank you for your kind words. And thanks for always checkin' mu stuff. It is nice to see you.

If tears could build a stairway and memories a lane, I'd walk right up to heaven and bring you home again.

LoveBug
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8 posted 2005-06-07 10:35 PM


I love your small essays. You have such wisdom, and you impart it to us so willingly and beautifully. It's true.. to quote LOTR--it's what you do with the time that is given to you. I really enjoyed reading this

Love's a lovely lad
His bringing up is beauty
Who loves him not is mad
For I must pay him duty
-Anonymous

Larry C
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9 posted 2005-06-08 11:04 AM


Lovebug,
You are a dear. And thank you for being so kind. I do appreciate you so...

If tears could build a stairway and memories a lane, I'd walk right up to heaven and bring you home again.

Professor Gloom
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since 2000-07-23
Posts 3082
of Depression
10 posted 2005-06-28 11:52 AM


Good write,
I too have not much quarrel with time,
Since my objecting to it would do no good.
I remember most things with different levels of remembrance,
The good a bit more important than the bad.

Gloom

Larry C
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11 posted 2005-06-29 01:48 AM


Prof,
It's about emphasis. I too like the positive side most. Thanks for the read.

If tears could build a stairway and memories a lane, I'd walk right up to heaven and bring you home again.

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