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Love Sick.
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Love Sick. |
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Marshalzu  
since 2001-02-15
Posts 2681Lurking 
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Love Sick. 25/09/04 I have been here before to this lonely promenade, I have walked the sea-stained boards and leant against the windswept rails. I know this place well. I remember you in that rose tinted light of sentiment as I reminisce of days gone by spent here in the frivolous pursuit of entertainment, but the reality is more hurtful and is partly blocked, fading with every passing day. My days spent here were wasted, I sat and dreamed of you or perhaps my version of you, I sat and wrote to you, though you soon put an end to that with spite and scorn. I chased you here, I desired and objectified you here, I loved and hated you with equal measure here and yet still my memories are filled with sunshine, laughter and stolen kisses. Do you remember it? Do you remember me? I doubt that you do, you couldn’t bear to pay me that compliment. I remember it, though I deserve to, it was my mistake. You stooped to new lows for me I know, that gang of pretentious nobodies would have told you that much, I know how they looked at me and even what they thought, I heard the stories that first time we kissed, oh the embarrassment that you must have felt. Still you finally caved in, my time and chance were here and it was my mistake, a stupid one at that, I lost everything and everyone but I couldn’t lie to you, I humiliated you but I couldn’t lie. I didn’t really love her, but she flattered me and my ego, I guess you just hurt me and it was only when I had you that I realised that. Still that was no excuse. I remember you dancing in that powder blue ball gown, I remember it because I burned inside, and it wasn’t a good time for you, her, them and me. So much pain. It haunts me, that image of you waltzing with another man looking so beautiful as you were, but my mistake. Torture it was as I had very few friends then, you were just too popular and I, well I just didn’t even register. So I sat alone in silence, slowly dying inside as I watched you dance. I remember walking here to this empty place and staring into the dark, listening to the waves breaking on the weathered legs of the pier, I cried as I remembered what you were to me. It ruins everything, this sentiment. It ruined me and it ruined her, you hurt me for so long, you taught me how to hurt people and when she needed me I hurt her, I realise that hurting her was my mistake, I remember hurting you and that it was also my mistake. Your still hurting me now, you helped me lose her. So I am back here now against these windswept railings reminiscing of better days when I had you and her, when I had happiness not sorrow and when this lonely promenade was filled with laughter and not tears. |
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| © Copyright 2004 Andrew Sewell - All Rights Reserved | |||
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miscellanea Member Elite
since 2004-06-24
Posts 4060OH |
Touching write, Marshal. It's hard to figure it all out, but eventually it happens. Have a good week and weekend. miscellanea |
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Skyfire
since 2000-12-27
Posts 3381Riding |
This was... raw... well done  and then He created the horse... |
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Larry C
since 2001-09-10
Posts 10286United States |
Andrew, Oh the angst of youth and love. Pain teaches us much and it seems you are learning much. Peace, hope and courage to you! If tears could build a stairway and memories a lane, I'd walk right up to heaven and bring you home again. |
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