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Worth |
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LoveBug
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697
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As promised, I'm putting one up. It's been awhile since I've done fiction..... I never understood her. For most of my life I sort of thought of myself as something more than she, that I was the one who was to be looked up to. I was the one who graduated high school a year early, and finished buisness school a semester early. I was the one that was driven, the one with that ambition. Thanks to that ambition, my net worth was almost a million a year. She was a secretary with just a high school education. She married young and started 'breeding', as I called it. She worked her little job and went home and took care of a house and a husband and children. Although I did love her enough to keep this part from her, I thought of her life as a throw back to primative times, to when women were submissive and sickening. So different from me. In a profession dominated by men, I changed the rules. I reversed the roles. So very different from Ally, my big sister, and I thought I was better, but that all changed in one day. "Sarah, you're 27 now, it won't hurt you to settle down with Steve", said Ally. I sat in the driver's seat of my BMW, trying to bite my tongue. Thats what I get for telling her I love Steve, I thought. Her piece of crap 'baby hauler' had broken down outside of the city, and I was giving her a lift. As she was talking, I was thinking of what I could be doing instead of listening to her talking... I could be courting that new investor, I could be making myself worth even more.. but instead... "Here's the body shop". I pulled into the small establishment, which was attached to a gas station, and walked in with Ally. Anyone seeing us would have never recognized us as family. My hair was cut fairly short and dyed blonde. I wore an Armani pantsuit, and looked at everything through my dark sunglasses. She had long brown hair pulled in a messy ponytail, and was wearing cut off shorts and a "World's best mommy!" T-shirt. As we entered the store, the smell of oil and cheap gas station coffee overwhelmed me. She went to speak to the mechanic at the counter, while I looked around with disgust at the shabby establishment. I could be enjoying a martini with Steve in my office right now, I thought. But I was in that place... with my silly worthless sister. Suddenly, I heard the door open behind me. Two men entered the gas station. They were dressed much like the rest of the people in the place, dirty jeans and ripped T-shirts, but there was something very different about them. They each wielded a gun. "Everyone DOWN!", one of them yelled. I felt a hand grab me and pull me behind a snack display. It was Ally, and we were now out of view of the robbers. We sat closer than we had sat since we were children, and Ally had ahold of my arm. I was surpised to find that I was squeezing her just as closely as she was holding me. We peeked through the rows of candy bars and watched as the robbers pointed their guns at the mechanic. "Give us everything in the drawer!" the first one yelled. The mechanic moved slowly towards the register, and then suddenly made a move towards the phone. What happened next seemed to happen in slow motion. The first, who seemed to be the leader, pointed that ugly gun at the mechanic and pulled the trigger. Then everything was a curtain of red. Vaguely, I heard a woman scream.. it wasn't until Ally clasped her hand over my mouth that I realized that the woman was me. The mechanic's body landed right in front of us. Police came, and the robbers decided to hole up in the gas station. Besides Ally and I, there were five other hostages. The robbers seemed to be young and inexperienced in such matters; they didn't even seem to notice Ally and I behind the display and the body. We were probably there for two hours before either of us spoke. "Sarah," Ally hissed, "There's a door. Indeed, behind us was a small back door. A chance to escape! "Go first, Sarah. You're young, you have so much.. go first, Sarah." How could she say that? I began to think.. which one of us had more? Sure, I was in Armani, but both of us had the same black blood on our clothes from the mechanic now. "Ally... you have children! You have to go first. Your husband needs you too" "Sarah, Mom and Dad.. you're their baby. And Steve.." And so we bartered for our lives. We bartered by who was worth the most, measuring our worth by those who loved us, who needed us. It took that for me to see what worth really is. Money and clients and accounts were nothing. I realized how empty my life really was. I was too ambitious to have friends. Steve and I were really starting to grow, but I was even beginning to push that away. I had everything... I had nothing. We both ended up sneaking through that door, precious Ally first, and then silly worthless Sarah. Ally went home to her children and her husband. I went back and settled for what I had. I saw what made one life worth more than another: love. I was determined to become more wealthy in that. Oh, make me Thine forever And should I fainting be Lord, let me never ever Outlive my love for Thee [This message has been edited by LoveBug (06-12-2004 10:41 AM).] |
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| © Copyright 2004 Erica N. - All Rights Reserved | |||
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iliana Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434USA |
Worth, I enjoyed this. As I have both a younger and an older sister, the story pulled me right in. And -- held me. Thank goodness for the good ending. |
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Larry C
since 2001-09-10
Posts 10286United States |
LoveBug! When you do it, you DO IT. Excellent and holds all the values I adore. Nice write.  If tears could build a stairway and memories a lane, I'd walk right up to heaven and bring you home again. |
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Jeffrey Carter
since 2000-04-08
Posts 2367State of constant confusion! |
LB, this is a terific write. I love the imagery in it. I do have one very small critique though. (If you want to call it that) If anything, I would say that the story felt a bit rushed to me. For instance: after the mechanic was shot the police came... what happened between the time the mechanic was shot and the police got there? I hope you see what I am getting at here, and that you understand I really liked the story; I just think it would make an even better story if you played it out a little more. I hope that makes sense. |
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