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Un-faded Memories
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Un-faded Memories |
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Larry C
since 2001-09-10
Posts 10286United States 
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Un-faded Memories By Larry Chadwick for Larry Jr. They are not faded photographs at all. And I have my memories. They recall as if they happened yesterday. Odd since the loss of you now seems so far away. The beauty of memories is that they are timeless. And those same memories challenge me to think of today. It reminds me of an error often made that offends. We should not honor the dead more than the living. I take comfort in knowing that if you were here you would agree. And so the memories of you lead me so naturally to thoughts of him. Never will I love you less and never have I loved him more. Having a boy and a girl always seemed so perfect to me. I grew up of the opinion I wanted twelve children. Two seemed enough until there was just one. Now I live with the guilt that my choice will ultimately leave him alone. Strange how you believe that you love your child as much as is possible. It just seems that the love I had for two is now doubled for one. An unlikely benefit to a horrible loss. But I am at a loss. I want him to know. It is a blessing that the memories of you both are so completely mingled. Bittersweet but a blessing. I will always be grateful for the Father’s Day after you were gone. I flew to be with your brother. He had it all planned. He had two motorcycles parked there. It was a pleasant surprise to me that I rode his Harley. Our journey was into the Cascade Mountains. All in memory and honor of you. It will always rank as the best thing he ever did for me. I know you’ll forgive us that our thoughts were on you but the conversation was on us. It will always be bittersweet. But the memories are not faded at all. May 30, 2004 If tears could build a stairway and memories a lane, I'd walk right up to heaven and bring you home again. |
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| © Copyright 2004 Larry Chadwick - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Duncan Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455 |
"Never will I love you less and never have I loved him more." I remember you writing about that Father's Day and riding the Harley. Good to read this Larry...  |
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Larry C
since 2001-09-10
Posts 10286United States |
Duncan, Thanks a bunch. I knew I had written of this before but wanted this perspective on the record. Thanks for enduring the repitition.  If tears could build a stairway and memories a lane, I'd walk right up to heaven and bring you home again. |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
Sigh, this is amazing, brought tears and I too remember you writing about that Father's Day. Wonderful Larry Maree The clouds never expect it when it rains, but the sea, changes colour, but the sea, does not change. |
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Larry C
since 2001-09-10
Posts 10286United States |
Maree, Thank you for your kindness. I have no veterans in my family but all those memorial services made me reflect on my family. If tears could build a stairway and memories a lane, I'd walk right up to heaven and bring you home again. |
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LoveBug
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697 |
Sometimes it takes losing someone dear to appreciate the other dear ones in your life.. it's sad, but it also shows that every cloud, no matter how dark, has it's silver lining. I know this myself.. although the loss of an uncle is nothing like the loss of a child, it is something that changed me and my whole family. We are so much closer now... but it still hurts too. So bittersweet, Larry... Oh, make me Thine forever |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
It just seems that the love I had for two is now doubled for one. An unlikely benefit to a horrible loss. But I am at a loss. I want him to know. It is a blessing that the memories of you both are so completely mingled. Bittersweet but a blessing. I will always be grateful for the Father’s Day after you were gone. ====================================== Sometimes loss numbs us and we close doors...sometimes, for those who are wise enough to see it...loss offers us a path. But then I dont have to tell you that... your "heart-learned-the hard way-" wisdom shines in every word you write.  |
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Larry C
since 2001-09-10
Posts 10286United States |
Erica, All so true. But I have always embraced life and made sure my children were the most important thing in my life. The unexpected part was that I could love more. And as you know...so bittersweet. Thank you so very much.  JM, And you lit that path in front of me. I didn't expect to be so close behind. What a comfort to find you here. Thank you sweet friend.  If tears could build a stairway and memories a lane, I'd walk right up to heaven and bring you home again. |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
 and an extra big hug for you. Have a wonderful Father's Day, Larry. I'm betting Ginger would have loved to see you riding that Harley. Maybe I'll pass you on the Oregon trail one of these days. I'll just keep my eyes peeled for a handsome intelligent poet on wheels. |
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Larry C
since 2001-09-10
Posts 10286United States |
Kacy, You're in my home territory. I have family all over up there. And I plan to vacation there next year. So I'll be watching for you. Thank you for the kind and generous words. If tears could build a stairway and memories a lane, I'd walk right up to heaven and bring you home again. |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
I sure would like to have a veggie burger lunch with you some day, and talk about LIFE in general. |
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Larry C
since 2001-09-10
Posts 10286United States |
Kacy, It'll happen! You crack me up. I had a friend once that bought a veggie burger when we went out. She ordered it with bacon!  Miss ya' sweet friend. But you're stomping in my woods and we'll cross paths. Thank you.If tears could build a stairway and memories a lane, I'd walk right up to heaven and bring you home again. |
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Kethry Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082Victoria Australia |
Larry, this is amazingly emotive. Whether this is an old theme or not it reads like it is new and fresh. I'm sorry that you had to go through such pain to get to here but very glad that you are able to share. Here in the midst of my lonely abyss, a single joy I find...your presence in my mind. Unknown |
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Larry C
since 2001-09-10
Posts 10286United States |
Kethry, Thank you! And I'll bore you with a synopsis of what it taught me. Grief without growth is pain without purpose. And I won't let that happen. If tears could build a stairway and memories a lane, I'd walk right up to heaven and bring you home again. |
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Jeffrey Carter
since 2000-04-08
Posts 2367State of constant confusion! |
The only reply I can seem to come up with for this is HUGS to you my friend. This is a heartbreaking peice, yet it left me feeling ... ummm ... uplifted, I think is the word that describes it best. |
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Larry C
since 2001-09-10
Posts 10286United States |
Jeffrey, Thanks. I have discovered a silent topic. Most people squirm about loss, rightly so. But...at least in my loss, I need to talk about. Not surprising I'm sure. Yak, yak, yak that's me. Thank you for your reply I do indeed appreciate it. If tears could build a stairway and memories a lane, I'd walk right up to heaven and bring you home again. |
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