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Insomnia Part Three
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Insomnia Part Three |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
Insomnia part three My editor keeps telling me I should see the doctor about my insomnia. My sleeplessness hasn’t affected my work; I don’t suddenly plunk my head down on my keyboard or snore in meetings. But I’ve gotten a bit quiet. Could it be I have things on my mind? Sure. Major life changes ahead. Publication of my first novel and the sinking feeling that it will be met with jeers of laughter. And it’s a very serious dramatic novel! So I wake up or never fall asleep. I’ve read that if you haven’t fallen asleep within the first half-hour of going to bed, it’s best to get up. I don’t even find my ‘groove’ for 30 minutes let along close my eyes!! Ok. Last night I had a brainstorm. Awake. Sitting in my rocking chair watching another infomercial. First? Why do all those people smile so much? They look like someone is pulling their lips back in some grotesque parody of the Miss America-my-swimsuit-is-riding-up kind of smile. And they all seem to ooh and ahh over the product. Or say ‘Amazing! with great frequency. Uh..it can’t be much of a surprise since even the audience rehearses these things!! And another thing! Don’t they realize they are playing to the middle of the night cranks that can’t sleep crowd? If they think they’re going to sell me that veg-o-lectric super sized strainer/roaster, they are smiling up the wrong insomniac! I’ve decided to start my own show. I’ll call it an “Insomnomercial”. Imagine the products I could hawk! Tylenol PM. Sominex. Maybe even some NoDoz! And I’d sell it in the middle of the day when all the happy people watch TV. Those that get their 8 hours of sleep a night! The studio audiences will all wear their jammies…not the neat pressed ones, but the real ones. The mismatched bottoms and tops. The tops with the strawberry jam still stuck on the front where that piece of toast rested before it tumbled to the floor. I’ll make my guests sit in rolling office chairs so if they fall asleep (damn them!) or if they got boring (and threatened to send ME to sleep), I’d just kick their chair with my foot and they’d go shooting off the stage. Bye bye! Thanks for being here! Imagine! Some sweet little newlywed girl will turn on the TV and find a 50-something old broad with jelly stained pj’s and hair that stands up on one side yelling at the audience to stay awake! It’s enough to make me smile I tell you. Not enough to make me nap though…. My cousin invited me to her house for a 3 day weekend. She lives up north – a 3 hour drive – because she thought the cool air there would be good for me. Good sleeping weather she called it. Hah! I’ve got a fan running all night. My air conditioner set on 60 and I have to sleep under 3 blankets just to keep my feet from becoming frostbitten!! Snuggling is not sleeping. I can snuggle, given the right partner or the right number of blankets. I just can’t sleep!! I thought my visions had abandoned me. But I turned and there she was. Sitting cross-legged on my bed. Still wearing her grannie/nightie thing. She held out her hand to me. There is NO way I wanted to touch her. I mean what if she was cold? What if she pulled me into another dimension where insomniacs ruled the world? But she didn’t want my hand. She dropped something on my bed. I couldn’t make it out clearly but it seemed like a necklace. A round something on the end of chain. I didn’t know if I should feel around for it or not. (This isn’t real, there would be no necklace if this wasn’t real…right?) ** Esther finally had a family. Her mother still was absent in most of her life she spent her evenings out with friends. Her grandfather frightened her with his steely looks and his references to her father (carefully whispered just loud enough for her to hear). But then there was her grandmother. During the day and in the early evening when the house was full of family and friends, Esther and her grandmother barely exchanged words. But at dawn, when Esther crept down to the kitchen to make herself some hot chocolate ( a tradition she kept since she was five) she would meet her grandmother. Their first meetings were hesitant and timid but as the days meshed into weeks, Esther and her grandmother grew close. Gran touched Esther’s cheek often. She would say ‘lovely’ and smile. Esther felt warm even before she sipped from her cup of steaming chocolate. They began to talk and though their conversations never lasted longer than half an hour it was the best time Esther could remember in her whole life. She smiled as she walked to her new school. She smiled on her way home. She tried not to smile at dinner as that would invoke a comment from her grandfather. One night her mother invited some friends over to the house. They sat in the kitchen and played card games and drank beer right from the bottle. Esther could tell her grandfather disapproved of the party as he glowered at them all before getting up from his chair and going to bed. Her mother shooed her off to bed with a flick of her hand. As soon as she got up from the sofa, her mother had turned back to her friends, her daughter forgotten. Esther lay in her bed listening to the sounds of her mother’s laugh. She laughed a lot these days and though at first it was good to hear, now, it just sounded forced and phony. She could hear the low murmurs of the men and then the squeals of the women as they responded. There was a quick screech of a chair being pushed back on the linoleum floor and then it was quiet for a few minutes. Then there were hushed whispers and the sound of the back door being opened. It was odd they all were going out so quickly. Esther fell asleep. The next morning was Saturday and usually Esther loved this day as she could sneak out and run free around the town ending up in the library to read. She dressed quickly and used the bathroom and then tiptoed downstairs, hoping not to disturb her grandfather. But he was already up and sitting at the kitchen table. Her grandmother stood with her back to the stove and her arms hugging her waist. Her grandfather looked mad but her grandmother looked sad and worried. “Well, you finally decided to join us?” he said. He glanced at Esther with disdain. “You’ll have to mend your high and mighty ways now Miss Princess!” Esther looked from one to the other in confusion. “I don’t understand.” She said. “Now, now, dear, there is nothing to his bluster. Just sit down and have something to eat.” Her grandmother started to move quickly around the kitchen, putting down the cereal and milk and a bowl and spoon. Esther poured her own cereal and milk and began to eat quietly, hoping not to further antagonize the old man. “If I was a Catholic man I’d put you in a convent young lady!” her grandfather said. His voice startled Esther, causing her to drop her spoon into the bowl and splashing milk on the table. She looked up in horror at the old man. He looked at the spot on the table and then shaking his head he stood up. He looked ready to swat her with his big hand but his wife stepped between them. And whispered something to her husband. He turned and stomped from the room. “Have I been bad?” Esther asked? “No, dear,” her grandmother replied. She sat down opposite Esther and smiled. “You are the quietest child I’ve ever seen! A mouse makes more noise than you do!” “Why am I going to a convent?” Esther asked. “You aren’t child!” “But he said…” “You never mind what your grandfather said. He was just blowing off some mad. He gets that way you know. His father before him was the same way. They could out bellow a bull with is tail caught in the barn door!” Esther smiled at the picture this created in her mind. She loved talking to her grandmother because she was never afraid of saying the wrong thing. “Is my mother awake yet?” she asked. “I’m not sure.” Her grandmother replied. “Shall I fix her some coffee and take it to her?” “Child….your mother isn’t here. She left last night and didn’t come back. There was note from her and she left this for you.” Esther held out her hand as her grandmother dropped a necklace into her palm. It was a simple gold chain with a plain gold ring in the center. “Where did she go?” Esther asked, trying not to cry. “We’re not sure dear. Here, let me read you the note.” The old woman reached into her apron pocket and pulled out a small piece of paper. “Mom, Dad” she read, “I need some time to have fun for a while. I’ve been cooped up too long. Take care of the kid.” The kid. Esther sat and thought for a minute. Her mother probably didn’t remember her name. The kid. She started to laugh. Quietly at first and then with great big gulping breaths. She laughed so hard tears rolled down her cheeks. Her grandmother rose and came to her side, standing close enough to hold her but only patting her shoulder. “There there, dear. It’s going to be all right. You’ll see. She’ll get tired of being on her own and be back in a few days. Don’t worry.” “I’m not worried.” Esther said as she took one deep breath. “Not at all.” She stood up and moved quickly away from the table and her grandmother. “I’m going to clean my room.” And just as quickly, she left the kitchen and walked back to her room. Esther put the ring into a drawer in her desk. She went to the window and stood for a long time looking out. The kid, she thought. That’s all I am…. I woke up suddenly to the sound of thunder. My left hand was closed tightly and cramped from holding something. I opened it and there was a gold chain with a plain gold ring in the center. For someone who hated having insomnia, I now wished I’d never fallen asleep. |
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| © Copyright 2004 Poet deVine - All Rights Reserved | |||
Trillium 
since 2001-03-09
Posts 12098Idaho, USA |
Poet deVine: I really enjoyed reading this and I can't imagine your book not being a success! You obviously have the knack of good story-telling. I have insomnia, occasionally, but fortunately it doesn't last more than a night or two. However, I can sympathize! I don't watch TV so I usually read or write or do crossword puzzles, until my eyes are crossed! Love Betty Lou Betty Lou Hebert |
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ESP Member Elite
since 2000-01-25
Posts 2556Floating gently on a cloud.... |
Been wondering when part three would come...only trouble is, now i want part four! This was a really good read, I enjoyed it. Il leave the critiqueing to those who know what they are talking about. The only thing I did notice was that the lead in to the Esther bit seemed almost too long. Post part four soon! Lizzie xx "Time has told me not to ask for more, one day our ocean will find its shore" ~Nick Drake |
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a123 Member
since 2004-03-27
Posts 72 |
i loved this  a123 |
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Susan Caldwell Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348Florida |
Wonderful! Do the pipsters get autographed copies of your book? "cast me gently into the morning, for the night has been unkind" |
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LucidityNow Member
since 2001-02-06
Posts 118Canada |
Wow I never thought I would end up reading such a long post, but the topic caught my eye, and once I started....well let's just say your words are addicting. Great job. I also suffer from insomnia of sorts. For me, its not (always) that I can't sleep for days or anything, but that my days tend to be closer to 24 hours, then 16 - 18. I can sleep fine if I've been up for 20 - 24 hours or so, but anything before that is often forced. Meditation, and breathing excercises help me. and i'm certain that if i drive into those trees, it would make less of a mess, than she's made of me... |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
Thank you all so much. I don't have as much insomnia now as I did when I started this series...but I think I'll keep it up anyway! |
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Jeffrey Carter
since 2000-04-08
Posts 2367State of constant confusion! |
Speaking of insomnia, it is now 3:51 AM here and, yet, I am wide awake AGAIN! Nice write Sharon! |
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