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Junk Drawer
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Junk Drawer |
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Melodious_silence Junior Member
since 2004-01-05
Posts 37 |
A dull prism of red, orange, yellow, green and blue. She stands short and has largey shiney pink eyes. My, "My Little Pony," named Rainbow. Her once bright turquoise exterior is now a discolored blue green, her once silky shiney red, orange, blue and green hair has now faded to pink, yellow, icy blue and lime green. Her large pink eyes are rimmed beautifully with black eyelashes. Rainbow has a certain scent about her that I associate with a Calgon perfume: 'Turquoise Seas'. When I wear the perfume, I am enveloped in childhood memories of blue skin, vibrant rainbow colored hair, and kindergarten. I have an attachment to this My Little Pony, beacuse it reminds me of the innocence I once had. I remember sitting in my mother and father's bedroom floor with my sister and we would play with the plastic figurines. I grieve these memories because they are in the past when I once had everything. A sister, a father, and a mother. My edges have deteriorated like Rainbow's color have faded. Her eyes now longer shine with a merry significance. Her wan smile now seems like a weak attempt to keep what cheeriness she once had. I feel as htough I may cry now that I concentrate on her. So many years that have passed by, and I have failed to bring out my inner child. It has died. After my parents divorced, my mother married a man that was less than perfect. The situations he put us in; the horror that led me to confine myself in my bedroom with a locked door made me feel different from everyone else. I became angry, hateful and always suspicious of people. What were their motives? What were they going to do to hurt me? Where was Daddy when I needed him? I envy her innocent, glazed stare. Her mocking awkward grin, and her shy stance. We used to get along so well she and I. We were once the same. We bonded in our innocence for hours at a time. I would comb her silky hair while she returned the favor and kept me company when no one else would. There were no decisions, nothing or anyone to fear. Just sweet serene innocence. I run my fingers gently over her rubber synthetic skin hoping to get a breath of what she has and I lack. As I stare into her black, hollowless, inanimate eyes. I feel a familiar saddness and an even more familiar anger. I don't know where she cme from, but only from my sister's giving personality. But wherever Rainbow did come from, I now wish to hurl her back into the bleak, meaningless depth she had derived from. All our memories together lost and destroyed, never to be stumbled over to inconvenience me again. And yet my eyes fall upon her and I wish to ask someone for a comb and maybe a rubber band so taht I may pull the teeth through her hair once more. If i had a comb, I could run it through her hair and comb out those feelings(like vermin)that now have been lost. I might be able to detangle the hurt from the happiness and allow the surface to shine again. Even if it is a worn, old, exhausted shine that will surely die someday anyway... it would be worth it. I feel apart of her and she apart of me. Should she be tossed into obliviousness forever she, physically, would die. The morbid memories would lurk in my head and haunt me like the most miserable ghost until she had her revent on me; either my loss of life, or sanity. Is there any point to reflecting except a loss of rational thoughts and a traumitizing misery? "Love is friendship set on fire" -Jeremy Taylor |
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Melodious_silence Junior Member
since 2004-01-05
Posts 37 |
A dull prism of red, orange, yellow, green and blue. She stands short and has largey shiney pink eyes. My, "My Little Pony," named Rainbow. Her once bright turquoise exterior is now a discolored blue green, her once silky shiney rainbow hair has now faded to duller colors. Her large pink eyes are rimmed beautifully with black eyelashes. Rainbow has a certain scent about her that I associate with a Calgon perfume: 'Turquoise Seas'. When I wear the perfume, I am enveloped in childhood memories of blue skin, vibrant rainbow colored hair, and kindergarten. I have an attachment to this My Little Pony, because it reminds me of the innocence I once had. I remember sitting in my mother and father's bedroom floor with my sister and we would play with the plastic figurines. I grieve these memories because they are in the past when I once had everything. A sister, a father, and a mother. My edges have deteriorated like Rainbow's colors have faded. Her eyes no longer shine with a merry significance. Her wan smile now seems like a weak attempt to keep what cheeriness she once had. I feel as though I may cry now that I concentrate on her. So many years that have passed by, and I have failed to bring out my inner child. It has died. After my parents divorced, my mother married a man that was less than perfect. The situations he put us in; the horror that led me to confine myself in my bedroom with a locked door, made me feel different from everyone else. I became angry, hateful and always suspicious of people. What were their motives? What were they going to do to hurt me? Where was Daddy when I needed him? I envy her innocent, glazed stare. Her mocking awkward grin, and her shy stance. We used to get along so well she and I. We were once the same. We bonded in our innocence for hours at a time. I would comb her silky hair while she returned the favor and kept me company when no one else would. There were no decisions, nothing or anyone to fear. Just sweet serene innocence. I run my fingers gently over her rubber synthetic skin hoping to get a breath of what she has and I lack. As I stare into her black, hollowless, inanimate eyes. I feel a familiar saddness and an even more familiar anger. I don't know where she came from, but only from my sister's giving personality. But wherever Rainbow did come from, I now wish to hurl her back into the bleak, meaningless depth she has derived from. All our memories together lost and destroyed, never to be stumbled over to inconvenience me again. And yet my eyes fall upon her and I wish to ask someone for a comb and maybe a rubber band so that I may pull the teeth through her hair once more. If i had a comb, I could run it through her hair and comb out those feelings(like vermin)that now have been lost. I might be able to detangle the hurt from the happiness and allow the surface to shine again. Even if it is a worn, old, exhausted shine that will surely die someday anyway... it would be worth it. I feel apart of her and she apart of me. Should she be tossed into oblivion where forever she, physically, would die. The morbid memories would lurk in my head and haunt me like the most miserable ghost until she had her revenge on me; either my loss of life, or sanity. Is there any point to reflecting except a loss of rational thoughts and a traumitizing misery? 'Love is friendship set on fire' -Jeremy Taylor I don't know how to edit the piece *^_^* |
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Dusk Treader
Moderator
Senior Member
since 1999-06-18
Posts 1187St. Paul, MN |
Well, as far as editing goes, below the initial blue frame there is a time stamp and to the left of that a series of buttons, the third one from the right is the edit button, click on that and edit away. As for your reply with the edit, I can delete that for you as soon as you edit. I'm one of the local moderators of this forum. As for the story, another good write. An interesting reflection of the past through an object. It's amazing how much emotional significance can be placed on something so simple. I wish these memories could bring you unadultered joy upon reflection. That you could partition out your good memories from the bad ones. Bad memories need to be embraced also, though and learned from or they will poison us for years to come. Good writing here and thanks for the spacing of this one, it makes it much easier to read. Keep the thoughts flowing  "Knowledge is far superior to Belief, for Belief is the way of the uniformed." - Scott Cunningham |
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SumdayUwillAcheLikeIache Junior Member
since 2003-06-01
Posts 10 |
recently ive just been drawing millions of childhood pictures (you no the ones mum & dad standing oustside a house, fairy picnics,princessess etc)  i dunno why it is.but i think we romantisize childhood way too much, tho you have real reasons to want to be back ther. |
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