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Not Sure Where To Go?...
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Not Sure Where To Go?... |
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UnsilencedWords666 Member
since 2003-11-19
Posts 63Broken Memories & Falling Tears |
***WARNING: before you read any of this...I am not sure where exactly I am allowed to post something like this, so I'm guessing here? (stinks being new & not knowing the rules) If this is the wrong place jsut tell em and I'll go away...thank you inadvnace*** RIP Lance Jerome Hernandez A.K.A Baby L May 5, 1985 - July 15, 2003 I love you like a brother, and even though you always gave me “crud” for being two whole years younger, you never allowed anyone to hurt me and maybe had I told you to give me space you'd still be here giving me hugs and telling me stories about my daddy (who I never knew because of gang warfare)...Maybe had I taken you're advice in 5th grade I wouldn't have made you loose your life too...I can't help but feel guilty for the loss of you...You were the only one who ever knew me for who I am inside and out. You never let my past tear us apart and were always thee to pick me up when I fell, I'm sorry that I didn't do the same, and that I let you down that way...That I let you fall and wasn't able to pick you up...G-d Lance, you knew that bullet was meant for me, NOT YOU...why'd you have to jump in front of me when that car drove by, huh? Do you have any idea how much I am hurting...Lance-you know that I should be where you are and you should be here with your sister and mom...God, I never meant for you to get involved...I never ever meant to have you get hurt...this was supposed to be my destiny, you should still be here with everyone and making sure that everything is running smoothly, what am I supposed to tell your daughter when she gets older that her dad died saving her “aunt” because he was saving my life? She‘d never understand, especially since I don‘t and can‘t...I can‘t face this alone, you were always the one to comfort me and now you left me...why, because you felt that you could save me from the world? well, now you really can‘t cuz you‘re not ever here for me anymore...I hate you right now...I hate the pain you‘re causing me, or maybe I hate myself for causing everyone this pain...G-d I just don‘t know anymore-Dude I’m not mad at you...I can't be mad at you, your gone because of me. This was you just being you, I guess, protecting your baby sister from everything just like always...Never ever letting any harm come to me...G-d I feel so horrible everyone is right it is my fault...my past made everyone loose out on you...Baby l, I am so sorry....you are my best friend and always have been and will FOREVER be-I know you wouldn't want me to be sad, but it hurts not having you around....but I know that you're up in a gangsta paradise, where I will join you soon enough. Until then, keep it real and say hello to my daddy for me...I miss you always and forever... -Baby Chika You can’t choose who you are Only what you will be Why can't you choose To let me be me...*~*Nessa Bear*~* |
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Skyfire 
since 2000-12-27
Posts 3381Riding |
Wow, I can't even begin to imagine the pain that you're feeling... *hugs* I hope you work things out... Life isn't really all that bad... just don't take it too seriously |
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UnsilencedWords666 Member
since 2003-11-19
Posts 63Broken Memories & Falling Tears |
Thank you so much, I’m trying to “deal” with this as best I can, it’s just really hard....but I guess that’s part of life having to deal with things that you don’t want to, or have no way of dealing with...but slowly but surly I am rebuilding my heart and realizing he’s gone...anyway-thank you again for the hug. . It was needed! :o) *~*Nessa Bear*~* You can’t choose who you are Only what you will be Why can't you choose To let me be me...*~*Nessa Bear*~* |
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