»
Main Forums
»
Passions in Prose
»
I Wish To Be A Fool
| Passions in Prose |
|
I Wish To Be A Fool |
|
|
1slick_lady Member Ascendant
since 2000-12-22
Posts 6088standing on a shadow's lace 
|
I Wish To Be A Fool We sat quietly, as the untamed band wound its notes around the smoky bar in thick loud minutes. Closely separated we sat where it is well known for chair lined loneliness. Touching when convenient and lost within the drinks. We had ridden in the same car but I wondered if we were really together, for you can touch in ways that melt and be as distant as un-introduced strangers. Earlier had found me waiting, wrapped in something of my own, empty pages and black ink, wondering if you would call. Then there it was with, “what are you doing?” where “nothing” became better than no other answer, as it didn’t matter, for I would rather be with you. I found it odd that you say, “You don’t seem to be all that excited about the date.” Yet you knew it was you I would rather be held against. Did you know my future thoughts? An hour waiting can become a lifetime. A slight knock makes my heart jump and breath shallow for there is so much comfort in our presence (something felt but un-admitted from fear of giving in and letting go). Now I sit perched on a single wood platform, with my back to you trying to hide my hurt, fashioned for one where my feet and heart dangle, one touching the floor and one nowhere close to it. I don’t dare reach down and pick up my heart, for if I get that close to the floor I might not be able to get up. Do you even notice? No, but you then place your arms around my waist and I can finally fight back the tears, but I still taste the sting of salt in my throat seeping from my soul. You say, “I’ll be back.” And step on my heart under your chair as you leave to go to the bathroom. I am glad you have left for a minute so I can compose myself. What is it that draws me to you? This fire that rages out of control. Sporadic hits of lightening and thunder in what should be a romantic soft shower. A true artist in the perfection of push and pull by practice, that finds you uncluttered in a dusty home, needing an open window. I find my own breeze being strangled by the egg shells I attempt to walk on, cracking shells leaving me scrambled. My two drinks leave me unaltered tonight to you’re… I wasn’t counting. Yes, it is true, I am a cheap drunk, size and metabolism sees to that, and tonight two is more than enough. Maybe it was too many in fact, for tonight they didn’t dim the light altering my vision of you. And I find my heart split in the middle of the peanut shells lingering littering the floor. You would think me foolish if I voiced why my heart fell in the first place. But maybe the truth is… I wish to be a fool. I have been a fool for lesser things. The band was loud and that’s all it was, loud. The songs they played were unrecognizable unless you knew the words. They were worse than most bands I had heard in garages as a teen but they were here and so were we. The dance floor was full of drunks and sober odd matched couples and laughter filled happiness. I want to dance. Being with you my heart felt light and wanted to be swept up in the movements of the crowd and the mood. You said no before I even ask. “Look at those fools. I would never get up there.” I could feel the side of my face glow red as if slapped hard with your words. I told you what did it matter they were making fools of themselves. Drunks forget things they do and say over night and at least they were up there and having fun. Yes, I wish to be one of those fools. I wish to throw all caution to the floor, to dance in all steps of my life, to take a risk to be seen and silly. To laugh at myself hard pressed against the music and the crowd. I have sat watching for too long. I wish to be the fool tripping and falling face first to regain my balance in a waltz of arms that doesn’t care that eyes watch. I wish to be the fool dancing the chance of romance. I wish to be a fool. [This message has been edited by 1slick_lady (11-18-2003 10:27 PM).] |
||
| © Copyright 2003 Helen Chambers - All Rights Reserved | |||
Kaoru
since 2003-06-07
Posts 3892where the wild flowers grow |
H - This is astoundingly good.. I don't know how I'd gone missing it... I'm glad I read it, though...better late than never.. Amazing.. |
||
|
Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
Wow. I always enjoy your poetry, and now, can enjoy your imagery in prose as well. I do understand this desire... to be the 'fool' and throw caution to the winds. |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
