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Allysa
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Senior Member
since 1999-11-09
Posts 1952
In an upside-down garden

0 posted 2003-09-26 02:50 PM


She sits, coffee in hand, curled up in the corner.  Hiding.  Tye-dye t-shirt, the beatles in one ear, she drifts away till he sits down.

Him and his crazy ways.   Nostalgia from a boy she doesn't know sweeps her body, she sips her coffee.

And the world is melting into a sticky mess in her hand.  

She steals his hat, placing it on her head, remembering.  It's a Matt hatt.  He has a Matt hatt.  Why does he get a Matt hatt when she does not?  Who declared him to be so special?

Why can't she be special too?  She forgot to remember to forget him.  

She thought it would be easier than this.  She thought she could delete his email, forget his phone number and then maybe the sound of his voice and the color of his hair would fade from her memory.

Didn't work that way.

Who decides who gets a Matt hatt?  Why does she have to give it back?  Give her back her time if you take away her memories.  Give her some space to create more.  But don't take him away from her.  She can't bear that.

And the world is still a sticky mess in her hand, stuck to her fingers like a long forgotten popsicle.

© Copyright 2003 Allysa - All Rights Reserved
cuda04
Junior Member
since 2003-09-03
Posts 46
Wisconsin,USA
1 posted 2003-09-26 11:13 PM


I understand the feelings, but...watch the use of Cliches...it really takes away from the overall effect.

Always look forward, never look back, dreams are much more refreshing than regrets.

Allysa
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Senior Member
since 1999-11-09
Posts 1952
In an upside-down garden
2 posted 2003-09-27 11:12 PM


Im just curious as to what cliches you think that I used, because if there are cliches in this, they were unintentional..
cuda04
Junior Member
since 2003-09-03
Posts 46
Wisconsin,USA
3 posted 2003-09-28 12:10 PM


She forgot to remember to forget him.

That is the one that really stuck out to me...It took away from the overall piece...

Always look forward, never look back, dreams are much more refreshing than regrets.

Allysa
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Senior Member
since 1999-11-09
Posts 1952
In an upside-down garden
4 posted 2003-09-29 01:13 PM


She forgot to remember to forget him is actually significant because it earlier says "the beatles in one ear" and the beatles have a song called "I forgot to remember to forget" (unless  I am mistaken), in which case that line connects to the beatles song and is an unintentional cliche.

I hate cliches, so I avoid them.

[This message has been edited by Allysa (09-29-2003 01:16 PM).]

MsSouthernOrchid
Member
since 2003-07-12
Posts 192

5 posted 2003-10-13 12:07 PM


  I enjoyed this, maybe because I can relate. I understand those feelings well.
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