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Hope
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Hope |
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Mad_Hatter Member
since 2003-06-29
Posts 393Canada |
I am not fully sure if this belongs in this section, although I am about 90% sure...so sorry if it's in the wrong place. I have been feeling very inspired these past couple of days for no apparent reason and tonight I decided to write this...so here it is. HOPE Always I knew as I watched; as I waited. Always I knew Sunday pleasantry smiles of the children and the women and the men were worn; acting as another article of clothing put on before they attended church. Showing the perfection of their consanguinity as they marched in pretend mirth, towards the divinity of a meaningless hour in a building; a building who’s only purpose was to show the fellow neighbour their flawlessness and hopefully get them invited to next weeks social gala. Not me though, no never. I could only sit from my gloomy window, peering down beneath dawns wretched warmth. I could only watch as family after family made their way into a cycle; passed from one generation forth. A man once told me I would find nothing from this window. I would learn nothing if I chose not to live. Though through the lonely years and through the window I had learned far more than those going into that church; far more than those who tried their hardest to unlearn what they felt burning deep in their hearts. Now when I speak to that man he simply tells me: “It is not for you to judge others reasons to be, in a world that would rather they not.”. I did not understand at first…or I simply didn’t want to understand, but every time I looked out the window it became clearer. We are chose our life based upon how happy we want to be; for it is not happiness that comes to us, it is us that must find happiness. For some it is fake, for others it lasts only a short while. Then came on the greatest realization of all; that man was right. I would never be happy because I chose not to find happiness. Though, was this so bad? Was it such a treacherous thing to be unhappy simply because I chose not to fake it, or chose not to be hurt by it leaving in the end? Or was my heart cracking, as that window did? I had never loved so much as I had been loved. It was love that I could not bare; not, of course the tenderness of it, but the fact that if I chose so openly to love all who loved me that I would only end up one of those people walking meaninglessly into a church on a Sunday morning. Or that I would end up at the obsequy of that which I would have held dearest. I feared the paroxysms of tragedy and the idea of knowing that I would never again recover. Perhaps my life had passed me by, before I could figure out what my real problem was; before I could decide why I had failed in life as others succeeded. As I lay on my death bed; deep within a garden filled with all the colours of the world, I realized all at once what it was. I had realized that my life did not choose me, so much as I chose to avoid it. I feared all of the things that were life and I let them pass to avoid any complexion of my simple life. My life, if it could be called such a thing was spent in a room without pictures of happy memories. Without children or grandchildren. It was spent in an only leather chair in front of a window. I had live my entire life as a spectator, viewing an audience that was striving for something I could not fathom. Now I know what that something was. They strived for hope; not caring whether it was false hope or not, it only mattered that there was on some level just that; hope. [This message has been edited by Mad_Hatter (06-30-2003 07:48 AM).] |
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tonia Junior Member
since 2003-06-13
Posts 41taiwan |
I wish that you can still see hope out of your window! Hope always exists...you just got to seek it yourself. best luck to you~ =) [This message has been edited by tonia (07-01-2003 02:02 AM).] |
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Mad_Hatter Member
since 2003-06-29
Posts 393Canada |
Oh. This isn't about me. It's fictional. Sorry if I gave the wrong impression. Thanks for the response though. |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
I enjoyed this write, and HOPE you continue to post more of your thoughts.  Welcome! I haven't read you before, but will again soon, hopefully. |
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fractal007 Senior Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 1958 |
This was a very beautiful piece. I really like your solitary spectator observing those other spectators. Your analysis of religion[or at least that of the narrator] was well woven into your story. 2+2=5 for sufficiently large values of 2 |
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MsSouthernOrchid Member
since 2003-07-12
Posts 192 |
This is good.I like the observance from the window, and I would be one of those walking to the church each Sunday. Hope is all we really have, and without it, life would be very bleak indeed. |
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