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Always Lisa
Member
since 2003-06-08
Posts 133


0 posted 2003-06-09 10:32 AM


Particular Blue
by Always Lisa, Lisa Brow

Our momma, she'd read those Golden books when we was little; like Huck Finn and nursery rhymes. Momma spent her golden years telling a different story and that story always started the same...

"My Johnny always looooooved the color blue" she'd say while looking up. He was 'all boy' and all boys turn into 'all man'. She'd tell about how Johnny was a man full of ideas. Ideas that he could change the world, and he did. He changed the world the day he left for the draft wearing his favorite blue sweater and a smile... He changed things all right.

That was the last time we ever saw our Johnny, except momma.  She'd swear that when the sun was just so, and when the sky was some particular blue that only she knew; she'd see Johnny smiling back, and daddy too.

Daddy left our momma on one of these particularly blue days that only momma knew. And I reckon it was daddy's own way of finding our Johnny. Instead, daddy found a city girl fifteen years younger and he married her in a city church. Two years later my daddy was found dead in a city park. And I can't help but wonder why daddy got caught up in that particular blue that only momma knew; just before he shot himself.

Momma died in her sleep last year leaving me with that particular blue that only she once knew. I see it just before the sun kisses the earth goodnight. I see mamma, daddy and Johnny looking down at my own son in his specific navy blue uniform as he smiles and waves me good-bye.

Always Lisa, Copyright 2003



© Copyright 2003 Always Lisa - All Rights Reserved
ESP
Member Elite
since 2000-01-25
Posts 2556
Floating gently on a cloud....
1 posted 2003-06-09 02:53 PM


Oh my goodness, what a write!!!!! This is excellent and so moving, so touching. Thanks for sharing
Luv, Liz xxx

"Gorge the honey from life, and live through the stomach aches knowing they will pass..." ~Liz Pinard 2003~

laurie
Member
since 2003-05-28
Posts 153
canada, ontario
2 posted 2003-06-13 12:42 PM


nice, but confusing. l think. l'm a confused person though, so it could just be me. anyway, l like your style, you've got this... l'mnot sure what it is, but it reminds me of something... ancient (well, maybe not so ancient, but u get teh idea) memories, with feelings and thoughts evoked through time.
it's like you're bringing something that happened a lot in the past (south, by the style, least what l could tell) and writing about it with events from your own life.
did that make any sense? maybe, sorry if it didn't.
anyway, l liked it.
laurie. btw, fave characters momma...

tonia
Junior Member
since 2003-06-13
Posts 41
taiwan
3 posted 2003-06-13 08:33 AM


hi,
i think your prose is really good, nice choice of words!! it gives a sense of free style...very well written. =)
tonia

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
4 posted 2003-06-15 05:42 AM


Nice writing...James
Always Lisa
Member
since 2003-06-08
Posts 133

5 posted 2003-06-23 08:59 AM


Thanks to those who read and responded.

I call my stories, prose shoebox writing with style (for the diehard poet intent on form and form only).  I used to think that when someone called writing/prose shoebox writing, it was a bad thing. It can be depending on what the reader gets to take a peek at. My goal when writing prose/free style is to leave the reader with a vision worth the peek.

What I call prose, is really a story with few places to put it, thus shoebox. The fit isn't great for prose but I believe the slightness in qualities that it is prose; can be found.

Thanks again all.
Regards,
Always Lisa


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