Larry C
Member Patricius
since 09-10-2001
Posts 10684
Arizona
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0 posted 05-18-2003 01:09 AM
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Tit for Tat
By Larry Chadwick
Ginger Michelle February 19, 1974 - May 18, 2003
For fear of having eulogized my daughter into sainthood the truth must be told. Our life was real and had its ups and downs. It has been another surprise to learn that even difficult times can be recalled with warmth.
In her early twenties Ginger’s birthday came and went without having received a card or a gift from me, her adoring father. And so the phone call for the birthday greeting and obligatory apology for my lack of preparation. It was her response that I was unprepared for. At the completion of my explanation the change in our relationship was defined by Ginger based on familiar words I had heard often heard from her mother.
She was not haughty but determined as she explained to me that I had failed to follow the rules of our relationship. Obviously I did not consider her important enough to make her birthday a priority in my planning. And on that basis we would no longer be communicating.
I was not expecting such a response to my birthday greeting but was not unprepared based on my experience with her mother. I let Ginger know that before we ended our call I wanted to clarify a couple of things. As her father I wanted her to know that I had some character flaws and that one of them was that of a procrastinator. And just to set the record straight I wanted her to be aware that all of our kids had experienced the consequences of my procrastination. Worse it was likely to happen again. Ending our call I advised her, please know that when your feelings change I will still love you as I always have and will be ready to renew our relationship.
I was visiting my son about a year later during my vacation and enjoying our time together. Things were a bit hectic around the house when Larry Jr. took an extended phone call. I was surprised when I found the phone in my hands with the explanation that it was for me. I cautiously said hello and was stunned to discover Ginger on the phone greeting me as if no time had lapsed since our relationship had been interrupted. No apologies, explanations or awkwardness was present in our conversation. I had my daughter back.
Eventually Ginger finished college and graduate school and became a gifted high school teacher. I had no idea how much satisfaction I would get out of her first year of teaching. But that winter when my birthday came I was very pleased to get an appropriate greeting from her in a phone call. It was then that I heard a speech I was familiar at making not hearing. Sheepishly she was explaining how hectic her work load was and how she had both a card and a gift but they would be late as she had no time to get them in the mail soon enough. No more was spoken of the topic. How gratifying to see life come full circle.
May 13, 2003
If tears could build a stairway and memories a lane, I'd walk right up to heaven and bring you home again.
[This message has been edited by Larry C (05-18-2003 01:19 AM).]
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You are TOO kind. But thank you, always. 
says it all
and I can't say why I'm crying, except that perhaps, this one hits close to home (vicariously...for a friend today who lost his daughter last week in a fiery auto accident...no time to say goodbye)