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Larry C
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0 posted 2003-05-14 12:19 PM



Pride Beyond Belief, Without Shame
By Larry Chadwick
The Ride


I knew when I climbed on that it was an important ride. It was our first Father’s Day without her. It was not mentioned. It did not need to be. I lived out of state and being here while unemployed was not expected. The beginning of new traditions. Sharing our past while building our future. It is interesting how much can be understood when nothing is said. Both of us thinking about her while experiencing now.

Three hundred and fifty miles through the Cascades together with her in our thoughts on separate motorcycles. The beauty of building fresh memories while warming old ones. The joy of being a father mixed inexplicably with the pain of being a father. Learning anew to be the parent of an only child while honoring the memory of being the father of two. Knowledge I never desired experienced in a moment I longed for. Ironies at their cruelest. Joy meets sorrow and is shocked to find they can be friends.

How could a son possibly know, so effortlessly, the needs of his father? It seems in the course of experiencing life fathers have no monopoly on learning. He was the one to acknowledge her loss was not all bad. He was the one that successfully planned a Father’s Day weekend that was fraught with potential emotional hazards. He was the one wise enough to meet the needs of his father’s broken heart by mingling the joy and pain of our past with our lonely today that will be taken home tomorrow as yesterdays fond memory. Larry I love you even more than I ever dreamed possible. You have managed to redefine pride in my dictionary. Pride: what I cannot have too much of when it is about my child.


May 13, 2003



If tears could build a stairway and memories a lane, I'd walk right up to heaven and bring you home again.

[This message has been edited by Larry C (05-16-2003 01:08 AM).]

© Copyright 2003 Larry Chadwick - All Rights Reserved
BluesSerenade
Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549
By the Seaside
1 posted 2003-05-14 01:28 AM


Knowledge I never desired experienced in a moment I longed for. Ironies at their cruelest. Joy meets sorrow and is shocked to find they can be friends.

Your pride and joy overflows in this particular prose...Oh Larry Dear~

Nevermind, I'll find my own kleenex.

Your words touch me in the very best kind of way...hugs, without caution!  

[This message has been edited by BluesSerenade (05-14-2003 01:29 AM).]

Skyfire
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Riding
2 posted 2003-05-14 09:59 PM



very very touching

Larry C
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3 posted 2003-05-15 12:08 PM


Lori,
It seems you may, in fact, understand how I feel. Odd to find blessings in death. Bless you. &

Rhonda,
Thank you dear girl. I do admire you so...

If tears could build a stairway and memories a lane, I'd walk right up to heaven and bring you home again.

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

4 posted 2003-05-16 08:05 AM


Knowledge I never desired experienced in a moment I longed for. Ironies at their cruelest. Joy meets sorrow and is shocked to find they can be friends.
--------------------
It is interesting how much can be understood when nothing is said.

--------------------




~*~






Larry C
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-09-10
Posts 10286
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5 posted 2003-05-17 01:47 AM


JM,
The level of satisfaction I receive in writing prose is only multiplied the quality of responses I receive. Though the responses are fewer the rewards for me are greater. And in large part...it's your fault. How you spoil me, I hope you never stop. What joy and healing I find in this part of these blue walls. Bless you.

If tears could build a stairway and memories a lane, I'd walk right up to heaven and bring you home again.

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

6 posted 2003-05-17 12:51 PM


You have my word I wont "stop" ...

ya know why?  
yeppers...you know .............

....................
....................
....................

Butterfly promises.     


I refuse to accept that mankind is so tragically bound to the starless midnight of racism & war that the daybreak of peace can never be reality.
MLK

Larry C
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since 2001-09-10
Posts 10286
United States
7 posted 2003-05-18 01:10 AM


JM,
Indeed I know...

If tears could build a stairway and memories a lane, I'd walk right up to heaven and bring you home again.

kaile
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Ascendant
since 2000-02-06
Posts 5146
singapore
8 posted 2003-05-31 11:15 PM


As always, I am humbled by how you try to channel grief into something of positive energy, something more constructive(?)(for lack of a better word)...it isn't everyone who believes in the silver lining or has the strength to seek for it even if they do....

It seems in the course of experiencing life fathers have no monopoly on learning.

well, keep learning with dignity and this reader will be right beside you, even if he doesn't exactly keep up with your entries

Larry C
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Member Patricius
since 2001-09-10
Posts 10286
United States
9 posted 2003-06-01 02:05 AM


kaile,
I couldn't ask for more from a better person. Thank you for you support and encouragement. Here's to learning with less pain!

If tears could build a stairway and memories a lane, I'd walk right up to heaven and bring you home again.

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
10 posted 2003-06-02 05:17 PM


Loving and tender words filling this page...James
Larry C
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11 posted 2003-06-03 12:48 PM


James,
Your are a kind man and so appreciated. Thank you.

If tears could build a stairway and memories a lane, I'd walk right up to heaven and bring you home again.

Kellie_Cantrell
Senior Member
since 2002-05-22
Posts 1667
New York
12 posted 2003-06-07 07:24 PM


Aww Larry, best wishes... whats that like?


Larry C
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-09-10
Posts 10286
United States
13 posted 2003-06-08 12:19 PM


Kellie,
Thank you dear. It's like being lucky in spite of all your mistakes.

If tears could build a stairway and memories a lane, I'd walk right up to heaven and bring you home again.

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