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Kethry
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082
Victoria Australia

0 posted 2003-04-21 10:55 AM


"Kath, Kath, it's raining! Come out and dance!" And she did. It may have seemed strange, two older ladies, one fifty five and one fifty eight dancing and laughing in the rain like fools caught in occasional madness and providing a spectacle for those weary travelers who followed the road from nowhere to nowhere else.

Dancing in the rain had been our mother's expression. She used to say, "if you don't dance in the rain you miss seeing the rainbows." I think it was her way of saying that life would often throw unexpected things and if we were not grateful we could easily miss the lesson given.

That was especially true the year the farms were flooded and we were homeless. Although many of the surrounding farms were in the same condition, farmers have a way of looking at life that makes everything okay. There we were destitute, for we had lost all of our possessions as the water rose. We did not see joy  in our situation, gathered together as we were in a church hall, wet and sodden with a dozen families in the same predicament; until one old timer said with a  slow drawl, "Well I guess, God must want us to see lots of rainbows. He sure did send enough rain." We all laughed and things did not seem quite so desperate as before.
The community pulled together to help and we survived as we had done so many times before. Life continued, as it is wont to do and I had no cause to think about dancing in the rain in joy or otherwise.
I think, in many ways, Kath and I must have been the rain in our parents' lives, especially me with my sullen ways and ungrateful heart. They had always wanted boys, to help with the farm and to have someone to leave the farm to, they said but it was more than that; dad had always regretted being an only child and he had wanted brothers more than anything else.  Still even with two girls and no chance of more children because of Mum's cancer, which claimed her womb early, Dad found a way to bring joy from sorrow.  He fostered - whenever and wherever he could and the farm rang with the sound of boyish laughter from our 'temporaries'.

I had never learned to follow mum's advice; I had never learned to accept what was given with a glad heart. I had never been happy living in a faming community, my favourite time of the year was summer, for then there were dances and I enjoyed harvest for the celebrations more than for the gratitude that the crop had been safely brought in. I was in my element when there was colour and partying. It was not surprising then that the work of the farm held no attraction for me and yet it gave me comfort to know the seasons came as they would, with summer following spring and autumn and winter coming to replenish the land. It was certainly no surprise to my parents when I left the land as soon as I could, claiming the need to work as my excuse to leave and find myself.

                       ******
Two failed marriages and discontent in my own heart taught me that happiness in hardship was a futile exercise. Rain was rain and if there were rainbows they were hidden from me. Rain came to dampen the world with sorrow and I saw no life giving force in it. It was not until I returned home after my mother's death many years later that I saw the possibility of dancing in the rain. My father struggled gamely on after my mum's death and I returned home to my sister and him. He never complained about the loss of his wife but faded away slowly, like a shadow when the day is done, or like a rose that has past its prime and lacks the blessing of the moisture to keep it alive and fresh. When he died shortly after my mum I let the gloom of the sadness surround my life.

Kath and I worked the farm because there was no choice but she worked as if she held a reservoir of joy within her. I worked with head bent and heart heavy as if the rain clouds threatened doom and the sunshine had disappeared forever.

As I worked the farm a sort of peace descended on me, I cannot say I was reconciled to the lifestyle but the passing of the seasons soothed and comforted.  My sister and I worked side by side and yet it was as if we were strangers in the one house. I did not understand her and I doubt she understood my moroseness or my depression.

She too had undergone her own rain when her husband who owned the property next to ours was taken by a bushfire. His death was made all the more painful because he had volunteered to go out and help with the fires that had been raging. She had raised three little boys alone and had returned to the family home farm only when she was sure her own children could survive without her and our parents could not.  Not that she had ever left our parents. Unlike me she was the oldest child and held a peculiar sense of responsibility that was as alien to me as was her dedication to rural life.

She gloried in the small things and made a home wherever she was. Her desire to remain in one place often confused me and the sampler hanging over the door "Bloom where you're planted" reflected her philosophy and her creed. Her boys had long since married and moved on although they returned often to help, to be renewed and to gain some comfort in the flow and ebb of the seasons and the need of the land. Mark, her eldest had chosen not to inherit, preferring instead to enter the world of business.   He returned often but was adamant that he did not want the land or the heartbreak it involved. And Peter, who had always been good with his hands, was so willing to return and work the land and yet a stroke that claimed the use of the self same hands - or at least the left one.  He returned, as promised but struggled everyday to keep up with the unending demands and finally decided it would be better if the land were sold. It must have broken Kath's heart to do this and yet she agreed without a murmur, saying only,  "I cannot see the rainbows, I will go and dance in the rain."
David, her youngest, had never been interested in farming and had left at seventeen. He wrote occasionally, long newsy letters that told her nothing about his life and telephoned even more occasionally but refused to even consider returning home, not even when our mum was so sick or when his granddad died.

Many years of bitterness passed before I returned home. I held out against a desire to come back knowing that nothing would have changed, although the strength that Kath portrayed amazed me, it also annoyed me. I think Kath and her faithfulness was the main reason I delayed my homecoming until after my mother had died. Two optimists in the same house was more than I could bear.

I remember going to my mother's grave, four years after I returned home. The drought had begun then and two years without rain had already led the farmers to predict hardship if rain didn't fall soon. Farmers, though are ever optimistic and they continued to look to the clear blue sky in hope that rain would fall and heal the parched land. I had prayed and offered to dance in the rain if only God would send some, but it seemed that God -like in so many other areas of my life, was deaf to my pleas.

At the graveside, I prayed and asked my mother to teach me to dance in the rain. I am not a believer in the supernatural - I scoff at the thought of ghosts but I clearly heard my mother's voice as if she had been waiting for this moment to stand beside me and share her wisdom.
"It's like this Kerry;" I heard her voice say. "You think of rain as being a bad thing. As children when it rained you were kept inside and could not play but farmers know different. We know that the rain in its season causes the crops to grow and without rain, as you have seen, good, fertile soil becomes a desert. Rain is necessary in our lives to appreciate the times of sun just as evil is necessary in our lives to appreciate the good. And remember that rainbows only shine through the rain. We may have great joy in sunshine but it is through hardship we learn and grow. We are like flowers; we need the gentle rain of summer to refresh us. We need the pattering rain of autumn to cleanse and strengthen us and we need the deep driving rain of winter to renew the earth we hide in and to give us the promise that the world continues.  As for the spring rain, what is more beautiful and heartwarming than seeing flowers bounce back, sprinkled with rain after a spring shower? The sun is important to us for life but it is the rain that gives us strength and hope."

The voice faded and I thought of all the opportunities that I had been given to dance in the rain, to enjoy the good and the bad of life and how infrequently I had done it. I wept then.  Tears of remembrance flowed freely and cleansed my heart of all bitterness. When I returned to Kath, she must have noticed the difference for she embraced me as she had done when I was a child, before the bitterness and envy had made a desert of my feelings.  We talked and talked, long into the night when we should have been sleeping, preparing for the next day. Kath told me when she had lost Barry, she had thought she would die and it was only mum's comfort and advice that had enabled her to carry on. I had never seen, never known this side of my sister. I had always believed her to be cold, to be a tower of strength, to be so totally enclosed in her own life that there was no room for failure and no room for a sister who did not fit in. Now I discovered differently. As we talked I learned that she too grieved, she too had gone through depression and anxiety and when she had chosen to carry on and work on Barry's farm she had done so knowing she was choosing to dance in the rain and not to be defeated by it.
On that night many of the hurts and jealousies I had held in my heart began to heal.

The next day we arose and nothing much had changed, we worked the land as we had always done and yet the whole world was different. I saw life through different eyes and vowed that if given the choice I too would dance in the rain of life and laugh at adversity.

I'd like to say everything was wonderful after that but it wasn't. There were many times when rising above my nature seemed too hard. The drought continued, stock had to be hand fed as water dried up in the dams. I was often resentful and angry and it seemed as if rising up to dance in the waters of adversity was something I would never learn to do.

Then one day something happened that changed my view and my outlook. David returned. He came back to the farm looking for work, he had been beaten by life and wanted a safe haven, and Kath and I took him in, listened to him and helped him as much as we could. It seemed that the seasons of the farm worked their magic on him as much as they had on me, until one day we awoke to find David had gone taking, with him all our money and valuables. The seasons had changed without my knowing it and now it was my turn to be Kath's teacher.

David's leaving devastated Kath; she sat at the hearth with tears running down her face and seemed to be unable to move. I had never seen her so defeated. Perhaps it was up to me to teach her as she had taught me. I began to talk and told her of my bitterness in the rain life had sent me and I told her of how she had given me courage to change. "Come on Kath,' I said finally "Let's dance in the rain." And we did. In a paddock made brown and desolate by the sun and lack of rain we danced and as we danced we prayed. We prayed for forgiveness for the bitterness of our own hearts and we prayed that David would learn to deal with his own life. We prayed for his safe passage and that the lessons he must learn would not be too bitter and that he too would learn to overcome adversity by strength from within and not by hurting others.
Kath and I continued, as did the drought. We had danced before God bringing him our prayers and we had prayed for healing, for ourselves and for the land. And yet no rain fell. During this time we questioned our faith but saw it as an opportunity to teach the message our mother had left, to pass on her legacy of hope. The farm continued to provide but the land gave back less each year.  Until finally in the fifth year of drought, we prayed continually for the healing rain to fall upon the earth. Kath and I agree that the rainbows still shine in our hearts but they are getting harder to find. Soon we will have to sell our parents' home and land in order to survive. We are at peace while the land continues to wage war against the relentless sun and I still have a promise to keep - A promise to dance in the rain and give thanks for all of God's gifts.

This morning I awoke to hear the patter of raindrops; I raced outside in my nightclothes and called to Kath. "Kath, Kath, it's raining! Come out and dance!" And we did. In the paddock by the road we danced heedless of the staring eyes. Until farmers one by one joined us and gave thanks with smiling faces. The drought is not yet over but we have learned to dance in the rain or sun and to give thanks for all things.



Here in the midst of my lonely abyss, a single joy I find...your presence in my mind.  Unknown


[This message has been edited by Kethry (04-21-2003 11:02 AM).]

© Copyright 2003 Lynne Dale - All Rights Reserved
Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
1 posted 2007-12-03 01:12 PM


Oh My Stars Above~
Kethry ... this is so emotionally well done that I find myself drawn deep into the all of it~

A slice of life that shows the many facets of differing personalities ... yet the ties that bind in 'family'~
How alike we are to that which ws often thinks needed changing~

This is REALLY, REALLY good, Kethry~
Publish ?
Maybe ?
And I have this feeling that there are many more chapters in this!

Love n' *Huglets*
~*Marge*~

~*The sound of a kiss is not as strong as that of a cannon, but it's echo endures much longer*~
Email -     noles1@totcon.com   

suthern
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
2 posted 2007-12-04 08:16 AM


I almost never come to Prose... and now know I miss so much. Thanks to Marge, I didn't miss this... although I could cheerfully spank you, dear friend, for not pointing me to this earlier... it's fantastic!
And it's so REAL... I was gripped by every word... and when the sisters cried, tears slid down my face, too...
Magnificent work!!

dgvarner
Member Elite
since 2000-05-13
Posts 3552
High Springs, Florida
3 posted 2007-12-04 08:19 AM


Good golly miss molly...i'm only half way through, and will have to come back to finish!!  

but so far.....wonderful...

g

"...Never regret anything that made you smile..."

Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
4 posted 2007-12-04 08:43 AM


A most riveting piece of writing.
What a marvelous story with a beautiful message!
A message that stays with you long after its been told.
Excellent...excellent indeed.
Hugs~Nancy

latearrival
Member Ascendant
since 2003-03-21
Posts 5499
Florida
5 posted 2007-12-04 09:19 AM


Kethry, Yes Another of Marge's listener's. I had missed this and now am so glad I have been enlightened. I read with sorrow in my heart and tears in my eyes. Such a lovely  yet sad story. You wrote it well and yes it could easily be published. Thank you for sharing. I never would have guess, you with the love you share, had gone through this. "late"
Pilgrimage
Member Elite
since 2001-12-04
Posts 3945
Texas, USA
6 posted 2007-12-04 10:16 AM


okay, that's not fair.  Now my nose is all runny, and my face is getting ready to blotch.  You need to post warnings on these things.  

Nan (Pilgrim variety)

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
7 posted 2007-12-04 10:24 AM


These are the good stories, KethSis. Straight from the heart, morals and all. I hope you think about publishing this one...start with your local magazines. Because it wasn't that long, after all!




iliana
Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434
USA
8 posted 2007-12-04 11:10 AM


Kerthy, being a farm girl myself, I know of the adversity you describe.  I, too, moved away from home.  However, I have not returned to the farm to live; I remain in the city.  My recent visit home reminded me of the deep teachings of the earth though and gave me a renewed optimism much as you wrote.  I had nearly forgotten that behind every raincloud is that silver lining....or, as you so beautifully, tell....with you can only see rainbows if there is rain.  Your very well written story touches me very deeply this morning.  Thank you for sharing your talent and I hope you are blessed with many rainbows.  *hugs*....jo
Margherita
Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236
Eternity
9 posted 2007-12-04 05:32 PM


Dear Kethry,
this is a very touching story, very well written too. I was really eager to read it to the end, as the emotion I felt was so strong.
Into the facts you have woven your insights and your wisdom. Though there were many tough moments to endure, the lessons of life have strengthened you and the reader feels that hope had never really succumbed.
A truly wonderful piece that deserves to be published and diffused.
My heartfelt compliments, dear Kethry.
Love,
Margherita

Trillium
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-03-09
Posts 12098
Idaho, USA
10 posted 2007-12-04 07:37 PM


Hi Kethry:

Thanks to Marge,I got to read this wonderful and uplifting story. More people should get to read it and I do hope you will
look into publishing it. a great piece of writing!

Betty Lou

Betty Lou Hebert

sandgrain
Member Elite
since 1999-09-21
Posts 3662
Sycamore, IL, USA
11 posted 2007-12-05 10:17 AM


As I read this beauty Marge alerted me to, I wanted to share it with so many. All can relate to it in one way or another and your mom's wisdom comes through loud and clear. Her inspiration lives on through your pen.  

Please, please get this published and dance in the rain through any rejections you encounter until it's accomplished.

  God bless,
    Rae

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