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Trouble Breathing
Member
since 2002-11-12
Posts 63


0 posted 2003-02-26 06:29 PM


It's not near finished yet, and I've got some correcting to do, but let me know what ya think!
It was an almost unbearably cold Saturday afternoon, on this, the 15th of December, when I discovered my sister’s body lying helpless beneath the frozen snow. I knew right away what had happened. I quickly ran inside to inform mom and dad of what I had just seen. This was the last time I ever saw Ronnie, and I still miss her to this day.

I woke up to a knock on my door, ‘twas the middle of the night. I answered the door in surprise, to see my sister standing there, crying.  

“What’s wrong, Ronnie? What’s going on? I asked.
“I’ve got a problem, Matt, and I don’t know who turn to”
“Can I talk to you?”
“Of course”, I said, “Come on in.”

At this point, I was nervous. I had no idea what was wrong with my sister, and no idea if I could help her.

“Do you remember that party I went to a few weeks ago?” She asked.
“You mean the party at the Robbins house?”
“Of course, it’s the biggest party of the year, but what of it?”
“Well, Matt, I met this guy there, and I really liked him, but…”
“But, what, Ronnie? What’s wrong?” I demanded.
“There was some drinking at the party, and the last thing I remember is being alone with him in a room, and now..”
“And now?” I asked.
“And now I’m pregnant, Matt, I’ve taken the test twice now, both times coming up positive”
“Ronnie, this is no time to be playing games”, I said, not sure of what to say or do.
“I’M NOT PLAYING, MATT, I don’t know how to tell mom and dad, I’m afraid, terrified.” She proclaimed, now bursting into tears

I put my arm around her and pulled her close, while she laid her head on my shoulder and continued to sob. Later on, I put her back and bed, and went to lay down myself. I had some thinking to do.

The next morning, at the breakfast table, the four of us, mom, dad, Ronnie and I, sat down to pancakes and orange juice. Ronnie looked up from her plate, giving me a quick glance, and I could tell she was not OK.

I grabbed her backpack, handed it to her, and told her I’d give her a ride to school. She thanked me, as I helped her up into the passenger side of my old, rusted pick-up truck. There was an awkward silence during that short drive, until I pulled up as close as I could to the building. She opened the door, and climbed out, at this point I was unsure of what to say.

“Listen, Ronnie, are you gonna be OK?”
“You don’t have to worry about me, bro, I’ll be fine” She proclaimed, shutting the door to my truck, and heading towards the building.  

I drove away, unsure of what to think. The whole way home I thought about what would happen to this poor girl, once so perfect and innocent. She’d have a tough road ahead of her, but I was sure she could handle it.

I picked her up from school, later that evening.  She hopped up into the truck, and didn’t waste anytime getting to the point.

“Matt, there is something I didn’t tell you last night”
“Darren, the guy I met at the part, won’t let me tell mom and dad about this”
“What do you mean?” I demanded
“He told me that if I told anyone about this, I’d be sorry.”

Unsure of what to say afterwards, we didn’t talk the rest of the way home, or again until the next morning, when I woke up to her leaning over the toilet in the bathroom.

© Copyright 2003 Trouble Breathing - All Rights Reserved
Mistletoe Angel
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Empyrean
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon
1 posted 2003-02-27 08:55 PM




(big hugggsssssssss) I certainly hope this isn't based on your real lifes story, sweet friend, I understand this happens to so many sadly and my heart goes out to all who experience these tragedies! (sad sigh) I love where this is going, sweet friend, you certainly captivate the moment, you have my vote and I will be looking forward to when this is expanded on, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet friend, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

"Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..."

Shakira

jjote
Senior Member
since 2002-12-25
Posts 1088
Ontario, Canada
2 posted 2003-03-01 12:20 PM


This is so sad, (although maybe fiction?)but we see them happening everyday, everywhere.  The young generation sometimes are not strong enough to cope with the burdens of real life.
Trouble Breathing
Member
since 2002-11-12
Posts 63

3 posted 2003-03-01 01:55 PM


Thank you.

And no, it's not based on a real life experience. Thank god. But I do feel awful for the people that have to go through that type of thing.

Mysteria
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Member Laureate
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada
4 posted 2003-03-08 03:52 PM


I would continue to expand on this story after the competition is over, it has the making of a great story for today's youth. I certainly enjoyed it.

           
R.E.S.P.E.C.T.
Aretha Franklin  

garysgirl
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Member Laureate
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237
Florida, USA
5 posted 2003-03-16 02:23 PM


While I was reading this, I thought of what great writing this is...then I read in your response to a reply, that it's not even from a personal experience....now I think it's excellent writing. It has my vote, that's for sure.

"Love makes the world go around"
~with love and hugs from Ethel__GG~  
                  

SPIRIT
Senior Member
since 2002-12-29
Posts 1745
California Desert
6 posted 2003-03-23 10:55 AM


Your imagination shines through once again,
another piece worthy of a vote. When you feel completely satisfied with it after your final work-up I hope you will post again for us to see the finished product.

Skyfire
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Member Elite
since 2000-12-27
Posts 3381
Riding
7 posted 2003-03-27 02:13 AM


Loved it the first time I read it, love it the third

If I love you enough will you feel it over the distance?

carol
Senior Member
since 2003-01-25
Posts 624
Florida USA
8 posted 2003-04-19 11:04 PM


This so sad I really thought it was true but I am so glad you did not have to live this how well I know this can very well be true with teens today I am holding my breath as my oldest grandchild turns 13 in June this is great writing it gets my vote

Real friends celebrate in who we are and have faith in all that we can become
Lots of Love
Rita

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