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1slick_lady
Member Ascendant

since 2000-12-22

Posts 6088
standing on a shadow's lace

0 posted 2003-02-02 03:30 AM

                     Truck Reading

    I watched him in the darkness, from the kitchen window. Clutching in his left hand, the envelope I had given him. Every step he took, tore at my heart. He walked slowly as in some painfully way. The motion of regret. The truck door opened without a sound, but when it shut, I felt that something inside me slammed. Hard. My eyes filled with the salty liquid of good bye. Till no longer could I hold it back.

    I stood there powerless to move, frozen in the moment, of watching that wreck. How I always hate good byes, for sometimes they never reacquaint themselves to you. And a heart beat just becomes an echo of a memory in your head.

    I watched as he played around in the cab, as if to rearrange all just the right way and distance him from the moment and the act of going. But, he knew he had to. I prayed he would go. Go. Just hurry and go, for my heart was bleeding all over my face and my feet couldn’t move. I was a magnet to the cab of that truck and the pull just wouldn’t give and I had no take in the metal crush of my heart.

    A light suddenly came on and the hair on my neck rose and a chill ran from the crown of my hair to my feet. I knew what he was doing and where I had stood cold before became hell hot in fear. He was reading. Reading my words. Words I had penned to him. Written as he slept. Thoughts in my heart as I watched him lay on the couch. And placed on white paper in black and white so he didn’t have to guess. There so he would know.

    Broken. I felt broken and he had broken his promise. He had promised he wouldn’t read a word till he was down the road. And here he was breaking promises and my heart was broken. Here he was breaking me apart not twenty feet away. I wanted to run. Run to him. Run away from him. Run away from me. But no movement came in my paralyzation.

    Fifteen or twenty minutes ticked away like an eternity and I saw him start the truck. But he didn’t back up. I wondered what he was doing. I looked closer, he was shaking. I couldn’t tell if he was laughing or crying, and the heat I already felt seem to burn to a bluer flash flame. Had I missed something? Did I misunderstand?  Had I been so wrong? My ideas and impressions muddied by emotions?

    I turned for a moment and I saw the truck door swing open and in a swift moment he stood at my heart in the kitchen. No idea what was to follow, I looked at the floor. Tenderly he picked me up and I felt his wet face. I could feel his heart in my own chest. There we stood, the two of us sobbing. He then broke the silence saying, “it won’t be long baby. It won’t be long”.

"It is like looking for a blizzard in a glass snowball. Unless you shake it up not one flake will fly."

SPIRIT
Senior Member

since 2002-12-29

Posts 1745
California Desert

1 posted 2003-02-02 09:33 AM

Lovely!

Jaime

Registered

Member
Posts 250

2 posted 2003-02-02 08:59 PM

Beautiful. Sometimes it's so hard to share..

- Jaime

Shiva went on break now look at how much it's gonna take to make this place a space where we can breathe.

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

3 posted 2003-02-03 01:18 AM

you write so much, so deep, it makes me void of words

Larry C

Member Patricius

since 2001-09-10

Posts 10286
United States

4 posted 2003-02-03 09:21 AM

I knew it...you are my favorite romantic. To the bone romantic. Through thick and thin romantic. How I love romantics!

If tears could build a stairway and memories a lane, I'd walk right up to heaven and bring you home again.

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