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sORE
New Member
since 2003-01-24
Posts 6
Toronto

0 posted 2003-01-24 01:41 PM


THE LIPSTICK LADY MAKES ME HAPPY
Michael Soragnese

As I sit here trapped inside my mind, all I see are white marsh mellow walls. Held up by little tiny white polka dot buttons everywhere. It’s all my fault. I have ruined any hope I ever had and used up every chance I will ever get. Did I even have control over my life in the first place. The walks to school, skipping over every crack the sidewalk would throw my way; how great my day would later become having avoiding all the sidewalk could throw my way. But for me it still wasn’t enough, I needed change in my life. Now I go where ever the man in white takes me and I bathe whenever the lipstick lady makes me. Rolling slowly over every crack. If only I could speak I could let the poor man know he’s loosing the game. If only he would play the game it would be such a beautiful day. I have now grown to love what I hate and miss what I love for it’s been such a long time since I’ve asked for anything. It’s all my fault. The award winning actor inside me just had to come out. Forcing me to act like something I wasn’t but now have become. Why was I not greatful for the wonderful life I had? I took everything for granted, now that I look at it anything is wonderful compared to this. Even my empty mindless life would have been better than my now ever so real existence. Or would it have? Now I know and can say so because I have stepped on the outside of both and looked inside and analyzed. Would the pain of a pointless life be greater than that of no life? I guess I will never know that now. The questions upset me so much the doctors said I needed help to solve them but all the medication did was make them go away for a short time. After that they would come back even stRonger than before. I couldn’t take it! “Mercy”, I would cry. “Euthanasia for christs sake what the **** happened to Euthanasia”. “I can’t take this ****  anymore”. But as usual my cries would go unanswered and the questions would always find their way back. When I would tell them this they would get very angry with me. So angry that once one of the men in white got so angry he told me he wished I had bit my tongue off when I jumped off the roof that time before I couldn’t walk anymore. Well, I showed him. He doesn’t come around here anymore. Now I don’t ask anymore questions or cry allowed. As a matter of fact I don’t ask for anything at all anymore. I can’t. But all the questions still remained. It’s now been a little while since all of that has happened. I’ve learned to move on. I’ve given up holding my breathe it doesn’t work. I only do it once in a while now, for fun when I’m bored. That’s basically all I can do on my own anymore and I treasure it. The questions finally stopped bothering me, they didn’t disappear I just learned how to live with them. If only I had done so before all of this. All this could have been avoided like the cracks in the sidewalk and I would have continued enjoying my beautiful days. O well, it’s not so bad here the lipstick lady makes me happy. Look for the lipstick lady to make you happy too.

sORE


© Copyright 2003 Michael Soragnese - All Rights Reserved
amusemi
Senior Member
since 2001-12-08
Posts 1262
A State of Disarray
1 posted 2003-01-24 08:54 PM


Welcome Michael.  This is an interesting post.  I enjoyed, and will look for more from you.


SPIRIT
Senior Member
since 2002-12-29
Posts 1745
California Desert
2 posted 2003-01-24 10:17 PM


Very interesting read indeed. I enjoyed it. Three cheers for the 'lipstick lady'.
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