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Reanna
New Member
since 2002-08-11
Posts 4


0 posted 2002-08-12 04:31 PM


This is the first short story ive ever written, i usually stick to poetry so please tell me what you think of it or what i could do to maybe improve on it for my next story if i ever get around to writing one?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Disappearance (short story)

As Ember stepped off of the subway, she was immediately begged to.  Maybe it was the darkness that drew them to her, maybe it was her murderous green eyes, but she did not look rich.  Everywhere she went, though, they went to her, pulling on her skirt and trench coat, disgustingly begging to her. They did not seem to fear her, for she was rahter pallid, wearing dark lipstick and with her long black wavy hair tipped with crimson. They could sense something strange about her, but it was not something they feared, for htey new nothing of her, and she would hope she would not know anything of them.  At least now she would not have to worry about any subways anymore.
“Excuse me, Can you tell me where Forty-Second and Madison street cross please? I am trying to get to my brother’s house."  Asked Ember, to the next passer-by she saw.  But they all just ignored her, so she used the last little bit of money and a few packs of gum for a cab ride to the apartment.
“Hello? Mikaël, are you home? I guess not. “ Mikaël was not home, so Ember settled herself in and went to take a nap so she could go clubbing that night.
“I wonder why the door is open? Ember must be here! I better be quiet, she may be sleeping because of all of the New York excitement.” Mikaël hung up his cell phone an walked in, not caring if he woke her now, calling for Ember.
“Yeah?” The half awake girl responded to his shouting.
“You are here! Finally!” Mikaël ran over and buried her in hugs.
“Bah, you’ve changed alot. What did you do with your clothes? Why are you so happy to see me?” Asked Ember.
“I have a friend I want you to ---” Ember cut him off.
“I don’t want you to be fixing me up with anyone! Especially on the first day I am here.”
“But Ember, you will love Damian, give him a try.”
"No, I am not going to date any of your friends. Remember what happened last time you tried to fix me up with someone?"
"Yes, I do, Ember, but that doesnt matter. This is someone different. Just go out with him once."
“Fine, you knew I would give in. I will but only for you. I am going to the Downside Club tonight, he can meet me there.”
“But isn’t that the creepy Goth club? Why there? It is not normal!” Mikaël shouted with emphasis, trying to persuade her not to go.
“Mikaël, look at me. Do I look normal?”
Mikaël shrugged, ignoring the remark and just wandered into the kitchen to get something to eat. He walked out moments later with two pepperoni and cheese sandwiches, two Pepsis, and cold cups.

**********************************************
At the club, A tall, younger looking man walked over to her, with his long, burgundy hair flowing behind him. His pale blue eyes were fixated upon Ember, but she tried to ignore it until she could no longer.  Evnetually he walked directly to Ember and started to talk to her.  
"Whats your name?"She asked sweetly.
"Damian. and yours?"
"Ember. Oh! You are Damian? i was supposed to meet you here tonight; my brother, Mikaël was trying to hook us up."
"Oh, really? I thought that you would have not shown."
Ember was eyeing him up all night.  She was really falling for the guy, and wanted to get to know him better so she suggested going back to her place and talking.  
On the walk home, he offered her his cape because she seemed as though she was shivering from the cool night air. She seemed to have been getting ill, but she claimed that she was actually fine and that his imagination was running off, and since he barely knew  anything about her, he just knodded in agreement.
Once they made it to the house, they were already hot in passion.  Alot like two wild animals, they were nipping and biting at each other like ravenous beasts trying to make a kill, but with teasing at first.  Damian had her pinned against the wall, already tearing at her clothing, trying to take it off as fast as possible, and not with much ease.  At the same time, Ember was fidgiting with his belt buckle, and his pants fell to the floor exposing his voluptuously hard cock.  She was already slick with sweat  and other bodily juices, that as soon as she was undressed, not even thinking of  'accidents' being able to occur,  he slipped himself in with ease.  She quietly moaned, and bit into his neck while he slid in and out with ease.  They let go at about the same times, his semen flowing into her as she let out a last, loud moan.  They got up and put some of their clothes back on, but eventually thought '**** it' and just went to sleep.
The next day, Ember awoke early, finding Damian not sleeping near her how she left him last night, so she just assumed he had to work or something and went back to sleep. After a few hours, she awoke, clicked on the news, and found that Damian was killed.  She freaked out, and was crying more than usual.  She eventually went back to sleep not knowing what she was in for.
She over heard the television while she was sleeping saying “...there were two small holes, vampire bites... never believed about them until now....”  She jolted out of bed in a cold sweat and shaking.  Had she heard what she thought she had heard?  Had they followed her from Pittsburgh? No, they couldn’t have, and Damian was with her last night wasn’t he? Well, until he was walking home...
“Mikaël, did you hear about Damian? He was killed last night!” Ember shouted, sobbing hysterically with tears flowing from her eyes.
“Seems someone grew attached to him last night, eh? I saw him sleeping with you last night, please try to clean up your 'messes' from now on though, ok? Clothes were everywhere!”
“You don’t even care?!? I can’t believe you! They are still after me, Mikaël! I came here to get away, and they followed!”
“Calm down, Ember, we will figure this out.”
“What do you mean calm down?!? Mikaël, don’t you ****ing get it?!? They came to get me, and they killed Damian!”
Ember started to furiously swing at him, and then picked up a lamp and hurled it at the door. After a while, she calmed down and got ready to go out again. She had to find them. Dressed in all black: a jacket, pants, and a corset, with a garlic garland for protection, she was going to find the creatures of the night.  After making sure her 6-inch hunting knives were still in her pockets, she headed out the door.
She pulled one of her knives out and cut her hand as if to lure them, and to shield herself from them she had the garlic. She would not listen to Mikaël when he told her that they were not susceptible to garlic. The only way to destroy them was to ruin their heart or their brain, whichever was more accessible,  but she did not believe the myth when she heard it.  But now she was wishing that she had had the gun with the silver bullets with her for protection, instead.  At least that could stun them temporarily.  Hell, even lead could do some damage, even if they could heal still.
While she was walking along Main street, she heard something from behind her.  
She turned quickly and saw no one.  She looked around one more time and this time all it was was an elderly homeless man.
“Ma’am, can I help you? You are bleeding...” the elderly man said, with his voice trailing off in the distance.
“I  know I am, sir, I will be alright.  Have you seen anything strange around here lately? Like, vampires?” inquired Ember, with a puzzled look upon her face.
“No, I am sorry miss.  Why the hell would there be vampires around these parts?” He said, drunkenly, and by this time being able to see her  face and how young she was.
"I don't know sir, I'm quite sorry, I'll leave now, goodbye."
As she walked a little further, something jumped out and grabbed her by the shoulders forcefully.  Whom or What ever it was, it felt like it was alot bigger than her.  But then, with her small stature, anything was larger than her.  She turned around to see whom or what it was, she saw a darker man, tall, with brown short hair, and piercing red eyes.  It felt as if fires were burning her from the inside out.  She knew her lure had worked, and that her repellent had not.  What was she in for?
*******************************************************
It seemed to have been morning now, and she was just waking up and could not figure out where she was.  Her wrists were sore, and as she tried to move them to rub them she found that she had been tied down.  She finally remembered what she was doing.  By now Mikaël had to have been looking for her, she thought.  But then she had remembered mentioning clubbing, and he probably had thought she just found a guy and tagged along with him, perfect.
“The girl! She is awake!” she heard being shouted in the background, and the same man that she recognized from earlier appeared hovering above her.  “Have a nice, long, nap Ma cherie?”
“Who the **** are you, and where the hell am I?!?” Ember inquires, confused more than ever.
“You do not know?” Hunter replied, bearing his long, sharp teeth.
“I was looking for you...but you found me instead.  I should have expected something like this."
“Correct, Ma Cherie, why, what did you expect?  Us to fall for your petty little games?  You cannot toy with us, my dear.  Now, how much do you miss your dear brother?  I have found him for you.  Would you like to see him?”
“What have you done to him?  You best not have hurt him, this is between US, not you and him.”  She retorted, with a glimmer of hope of escape in her eye.
“Bring him out!” one of the guards hissed to another.
They wheeled out Mikaël, on a stretcher, and you can tell that he had been there most of the night.  He was dead, none the less.  His throat was torn out and there was dried blood all over him and his clothing that was left on him.  It was visible that they had been feeding on him.  Not knowing what to do, Ember threw all of her strength into tearing off the ropes that binded her, but did not succeed so she just lie there in tears, hoping that she would die.
“Aww, what is wrong, my dear?  Have you had enough yet?”  he asked her, then said to one of the guards, “Bring out the knives."
"What the hell do you think you are going to do now?!? I am NOT a human shish-ka-bob.  You are not going to even come near me with those ****ing knives."
"Knives?  Who said anything about knives?  And thank you for the idea, my dear, I never even thought of using them on YOU.  All I was going to do was let my men feed off of you, not take your life like your dear brother's, but you have given me a far better idea now."
"Great. Now I am going to be ****ing sliced and diced because I had to open my mouth.  This is perfect. I wish Damian was still around, maybe he could help, or at least reach my knives for me. Dammit, why did I have to come here anyway?" Ember thought to herself, just as Damian walked in.
"Looking for me?" He said calmly, but faintly at the same time.
"Damian! Where the **** have you been?!? You scared the **** out of me! I thought i saw you on the television this morning, who the hell was it if it was not you?!? Get me off of here, damn you!"
"No, I'm sorry Ember, I can't do that right now. You have to let me kill the bad guys first then I can rescue the damsel in distress." He retorted, with a slight smile on his face.
"Bull****, Damian.  You cannot do this without me.  Why should I drag you into my messes that i brought here from home?!?  It is my responsibility, not yours."
"What if i want to be here? Would I have came if I did not want to?"
"You will get yourself killed!"
"You should listen to her, Damian, she seems to be a bright girl.  You will get killed, and I promise that." Hunter explained, and at the same time driving one of the swords through Damian's chest.
"Ember....I'm...I'm sorry for not listening to you..." He said, on his last breath, while choking on his own mixture of blood and vomit.
"NO!!!!!!HOW THE **** COULD YOU DO THAT?!?" Ember shrieked.
"Why, ma cherie, easily." Hunter chuckled as he said that. He enjoyed it all too much.  "Now, you are next."
Ember was thrashing around when they all plunged at her to hold her down for their  'master'.  As they tackled her to the ground, she could just pull a small dagger out of her sheathe and cut one of them in the arm, which put him in pain long enough for her to skitter away.  But she did not go fast enough.  Stopped at the doorway by Hunter, she let out another scream, and tried to regain composure.  As soon as she was feeling a small bit better, she realized that she had already been stabbed through the leg with one knife, and another coming down at her.  She lay there, in a puddle of her own blood, still struggling to live.  She let out her last breath, and collapsed completely on the floor, dead.



© Copyright 2002 Reanna - All Rights Reserved
Kethry
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082
Victoria Australia
1 posted 2002-08-13 09:39 PM


Reanna,
it's a good story that has some holes in the telling. You need to check your spelling and grammar. I may be wrong but I don't think Passions allows the use of asterisks in place of words. You might want to look at replacement words that are not offensive.
Keep trying
Kethry

Here in the midst of my lonely abyss, a single joy I find...your presence in my mind.  Unknown



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