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Fork logic
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Fork logic |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855
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One more silly little thing from long ago. Sort of a commentary to no one after reading an e-mail from no one. Mike Fork Logic I recently received an e-mail from a company which shall remain nameless, but not shameless. The main thrust of the message was that I was suffering from job burnout. They said some of the warning signs include anger, hostility, cynicism and chronic fatigue. All of these things exist. But I don't work midnight to 9 a.m. in a dark, clanging factory responsible for the world's only triangular manhole covers. I certainly am not gainfully employed to drive around in a cherry picker and trim back overgrown trees from power lines. And I am in no way making pocket change by writing warning labels on what to do if you swallow X-14 Soap Scum Remover. Nah, I just write at a newspaper. I hesitate to even mention that, because it's such a letdown from everything else I could be doing. I promise I won't continue in this vein. Rather, I will say that the most interesting part of the message, from this company which is genuinely concerned I'm experiencing job burnout, was the metaphor they supplied in the second paragraph. A man from the unnamed company sits down with a client, and notices him to be such a mess, he spills hot coffee all over his hands (and, one must assume, the cuffs of his clean shirt. Perhaps he's wearing a corduroy jacket, and the stain is slowly spreading along the fabric's lines). Now, I'm sure if you tried hard enough, you could come up with all sorts of illuminating metaphors based on this man's inability to hold coffee inside its mug. The most obvious being "Wow, that's hot!"; working your way down to "If you cannot control the coffee, how do you hope to control your life?" and to the bottom: "Is my mug leaking? Why are you all staring at me?" But, for some reason, this company person didn't even attempt to go with a coffee cup metaphor! No. He told the confused, wet man that he was like a fork that wasn't being used for dining purposes. Oh sure, he says (I imagine he has a grim little smile), if you use the fork for eating, it will last you forever. But if the fork is used as, say, a crowbar or hammer, the fork will quickly become mangled and useless, with sharp tines fallen to the carpet like lost teeth. I don't understand where that metaphor came from. In fact, I wonder if the PR person who was responsible for sending me this message is suffering from some sort of burnout. All I can say is, I hear you man. Take the fork out of your ear –- it is not a hearing aid –- so we may talk awhile. [This message has been edited by bsquirrel (08-11-2002 12:37 AM).] |
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Anvrill Senior Member
since 2002-06-21
Posts 710in the interzone now |
Poor, mangled fork... I can't get the image of that poor, mangled fork out of my head!  You're the poet, I'm the authoress, yet yr postin' so much prose. I is confuzzled! Now I hafta get my act in gear... Hmm, what would Tabby Moon be without swears? Would Tabitha ever forgive me? I know Neil would, but those goody-goody uber-Christian types always do. Poor Neil, being related to Tabby... Okay, I'll shut up now. Maybe I should see what I can do about Tabby Moon.  impress me, or be discarded |
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Kethry Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082Victoria Australia |
Aha, so that's why forks in the road don't last very long, they are not living up to their true purpose. Thanks for this piece of wisdom. Kethry Here in the midst of my lonely abyss, a single joy I find...your presence in my mind. Unknown |
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