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JamesBowie
Member
since 2000-11-25
Posts 252
big old Bangor Maine up by the shack

0 posted 2002-05-03 10:09 PM


Alarm clock hates me

I can never seem to wake up without something irritating me by either scraping or scratching or booming or slapping out some noise that I do not particularly enjoy since I was in a good dream where some weirdly shaped dogs were licking ice cream cones that were melting on a street sidewalk. Funny how I like to entertain myself. But as I pull from the dreaming depths to the loud hissing spitting crackling blare of my alarm clock, I realize that there are no dogs licking ice cream off a dirty sidewalk and this depresses my as I fling the alarm clock over my shoulder which unerringly strikes my wife in the head. But I feign sleep while she awakens, slowly dreading the moment when she will lift her hand to her head feeling for the forming goose-egg and then casting about for what could have caused it before she notices the alarm clock resting just inches away on her pillow. Vengeance is mine sayeth the lord, well he never met my wife. As she is about to return the favor I gracefully slip from the bed and athletically miss my well timed leap over the dog as I catch my foot against his head and am sent spinning to the ground in a ragged heap while my wife continues to bear down upon me. Dragging my poor twisted body across the floor with my one good leg and arm, I struggle against the odds for my life that seems to be shrinking out of existence while the dark outline of my gym socks suddenly comes in to view. My savior. I grasp the stinking socks and hold them above my head, which gives the evil wife thing pause, then I grab her little dog and drag it into a corner always holding the socks just inches from it's nose while she continues to scream "please she is just a little dog, she never hurt you". Then I pushed the issue and told her to get back in bed or her little dog gets the sock. She did as she was told and I slowly backed out of the bedroom with the little dog still tucked under my arms. As soon as I hit the hallway I bolted for the stairs as a bellowing roar came concussively down the corridor, blowing me completely down the stairs and against the front door where I somehow managed to get up, grab my car keys, and fling open the door as I dashed madly to the car. I slammed it into gear and sped off across the pavement, gleaming wet from the cold morning rain. That was the last I ever saw of my wife or my damned alarm clock.


© Copyright 2002 James Bowie - All Rights Reserved
Kethry
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082
Victoria Australia
1 posted 2002-05-04 02:41 AM


James,
very creative, I loved the ending and if you left the house with only dirty socks I'm surprised you are free to write this
Kethry

Here in the midst of my lonely abyss, a single joy I find...your presence in my mind.  Unknown



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