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LCBS
Senior Member
since 2001-11-29
Posts 532
Connecticut

0 posted 2002-03-27 11:09 PM



I’m not sure I can pinpoint when I actually saw life for the first time, I remember being young, naïve, and ready to take the world on.  I remember being happy, and yet, I don’t remember when it all changed.  One day it was here, this vibrancy, this euphoria.  Where had I gotten these rose colored glasses? For society had not condoned optimism, I was unique, and I was in control.  However, when was it that this control slipped away.  How long ago did I start to spin out of the realms of childhood, and into this deep hole of depression.  Had the world not been beautiful just yesterday?  Sundown brought my happiness, and yet dawn brought my tears.  My morality had seemed to disappear, and I wonder still, why did I turn into who I am.  They used to speak of my potential, and now they speak like I’m not here anymore, like I could not amount to anything.  When did I begin to hate myself, surely at one point in time I was confident, I loved me for me.  When did I begin to loathe myself, when did the hurt envelope my self image.  I see it now, I admit it, I do not like who I am, and doesn’t that mean I am ready to change?  Can I once again have a soul, for being empty, in my heart, and in my mind, has left me empty in this world.


I'm a poet, but I had the sudden urge to post this, its really not good, but it is from the heart


~Lisa

To everything there is a season...

© Copyright 2002 Lisa Bednarz - All Rights Reserved
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
1 posted 2002-03-28 06:40 AM



It is a good thing to call one's self a poet, and then turn around and write prose.  The title indicates this was written some time ago, if it is an actual accounting.  Sounds like the throes of growing up!  Even then you had a good grip on your vocabulary.  My eye questioned one word - "morality" - and wondered if you had meant "mortality" and my brain decided "both work."  As I looked at it from a moral standpoint, it is easy enough to lose that, thus fitting this piece quite well.

Welcome to Prose!

Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296
Purgatorial Incarceration
2 posted 2002-03-28 01:24 PM


anything truly from the heart is good, as it teaches us something - both the reader and the writer.

i like these almost stream-of-consciousness type writes... they provide insight into the person's thought process.

welcome

C

quietlydying
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2001-06-10
Posts 935
the wonderful land of oz
3 posted 2002-04-09 10:27 PM


journals are some of the best books ever.

i have so many of these types of entries.  where you're just so confused as to where it all 'went wrong'.  but the thing you never really notice, is that it never went wrong.  it just didn't go the way you were expecting it to.

it will all sort itself out eventually.

/jen/

so foul and fair a day i have not seen.  - macbeth act 1, scene 3

phoenix95gsx
New Member
since 2002-06-04
Posts 6

4 posted 2002-06-06 01:04 AM


they say that it's always good to know that you're not the only one in the world who feels a certain way... and so i thank you.
cutiepiesugarbabie
Member
since 2002-06-07
Posts 110
A Cloud In the Sky
5 posted 2002-06-25 10:10 PM


takes guts to post ur deep down thoughts online...i commend you

o*~Everyone makes mistakes-get over them and make more tomorrow!~*o

SimplyGold
Senior Member
since 2002-07-10
Posts 1453

6 posted 2002-07-10 09:51 PM


Thank you. I am reminded of how insightful youth can be. Your words are so pure and unpretencious. All through life we are looking for a place to be, a comfort zone. I wonder how far you have come since that journal entry. Have you found the wisdom that you seemed to be so aware of so long ago.

SimplyGold

Skyfire
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Member Elite
since 2000-12-27
Posts 3381
Riding
7 posted 2002-07-14 12:11 PM


*hugs*
serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

8 posted 2002-07-14 01:21 AM


You just wrote "me".

It must have been one of those synchronicity things--I was just sitting here thinking about this very thing..and "walla" HERE YOU ARE...and here I am. Shaking my head at mirrors.

fractal007
Senior Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 1958

9 posted 2002-07-14 05:45 PM


Man, looks like everybody's depressed right now.  I am feeling down myself.  This is a rather good and frank piece.  I often feel quite a bit of loathing toward society.  But I am unsure as to whether it is to blame for the loss of innocence that we all experience.

A good post and thanks for sharing.

"If history is to change, let it change. If the world is to be destroyed, so be it. If my fate is to die, I must simply laugh"

-- Magus

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