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Licking Split Lips
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Licking Split Lips |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738
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You'd think this story would be done and yet? I don't believe it is a final finished product. I've no business writing about unfinished business, but I fear I'll forget all of the details that make this story mine. I fear I'll forget the blackened swollen eyes, and smell of the muddied Mississippi in the spring...with the half and half of irony hitting me in the eye---half dressed---half blind--at dawn, half darkness half light---and half of my senses wandering and wondering, searching my body for clues. At the bottom of the levee--hearing the motor again come back for me, the same that destroyed me--yes, I heard the Van come back...and I lay there, pretending I was dead. I heard the engine whine as it pulled up the levee. He cussed to himself, getting out of the van. This time, he was alone. I had been watching the sunrise over the river, thinking how perverse life can be--a beauty of a sunrise after a bestiality of the worst nightmare. But I closed my eyes and made my breath shallow...I played possum...for surely he had come to kill me for what I knew. He leaned over me, and his breath was welcome, if only because it was warm. I felt his fingers on my neck--and heard him whisper "oh thank god..." He took that ice cold river water and dripped it and the ******* even called me "love", saying, "come to, darling...come on, I'll bring you home..." Everything hurts when you've been beat up. Licking split lips is agony. But I took his hand, and he dragged me from the spring swollen river...back into the chamber--to the van-- that I had been carelessly tossed from an hour before. He drove me there, and the only words of sorrow I ever heard from him was: "Thank you, God, she's still alive." I used to be so screwed up I thought of that as graciousness. But the world is a hard cold place, and the river is high and icy come spring, and it is a difficult swim, even in the calm of a windless August night. But I am left here, still uncertain,as to which hurts more--to survive the attempt, or spend years in the rewind of recovery-- the memory of a beautiful sunrise through swollen eyelids on the banks of the Mississippi River. |
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| © Copyright 2001 serenity blaze - All Rights Reserved | |||
Marge Tindal 
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Serenity~ Quite a gripping survivor story. You've invited the reader to step into a moment of feelings~ Nicely done. *Hugs* ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ |
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wayoutwalt Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 4870TEXAS (it's all big) |
I want to read more write it all down you have a gift and I want a 1st edition! |
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Wanda Member
since 2001-10-23
Posts 461 |
Serenity; This is certainly a gripping story. A very good read. Thank you for shaing. Wanda |
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Mysteria
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
Excellent Karen, I sat here wishing for it to go on. I grit my teeth every time I read a story of this nature and just pray for a happy ending. Well done indeed.  ~*~ Carpe' Diem ~*~ |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
You know I love your writing! Find another word for the one the software filter got - asterisks do detract from the intensity of this I think! I'm so excited that you're writing prose!!!! You are SO good at it!  |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
You'd think this story would be done and yet? I don't believe it is a final finished product. I've no business writing about unfinished business, but I fear I'll forget all of the details that make this story mine. I fear I'll forget the blackened swollen eyes, and smell of the muddied Mississippi in the spring...with the half and half of irony hitting me in the eye---half dressed---half blind--at dawn, half darkness half light---and half of my senses wandering and wondering, searching my body for clues. At the bottom of the levee--hearing the motor again come back for me, the same that destroyed me--yes, I heard the Van come back...and I lay there, pretending I was dead. I heard the engine whine as it pulled up the levee. ==================================== Its "finished" when we are able to recall it and it not rewound us and undo any healing done.... as for "forgetting it??" .... I wont ever, now that I've read it, but I will hope that for you time pales the recall. heart-hugs KA love you me [This message has been edited by Janet Marie (edited 11-03-2001).] |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Hope times are safer now and that it is a time for healing...James |
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Kethry Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082Victoria Australia |
serenity, your write shows "it is finished". You are a survivor, you have survived and the moment has been captured amazingly for the education of others. write on Kethry Here in the midst of my lonely abyss, a single joy I find...your presence in my mind. Unknown |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Now it's done. His funeral was yesterday... |
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wranx Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689Moved from a shack to a barn |
Couldn't have happened to a nicer guy. Sorry that these things happen to people (could tend to screw them all up) ~wranx "Writing is a perfectly natural thing to do...provided it's done in private and you wash your hands afterward"....Heinlein. |
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