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madly in love
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madly in love |
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7 Member
since 2000-04-26
Posts 113Amherst, MA, USA |
"Goodbye Paula. Forever." He was standing behind the postcards. Looking for the right key. "I'm leaving. Tomorrow." "What? For good?" I know my face went as pale as it had the day he told me he'd read my journal... but all the blood came back when I realized that was OK. That everything was OK. I'm quitting. I put my resignation on Pam's desk. I'm going out West. I dunno..." "Well you'll be back." He looked a bit surprised, as if I was supposed to be upset. He started stuttering, glancing away, at the keys, the door, the postcards. "Yeah, I mean... I'm going to UMaine and you're going to COA, so..." He locked the door, then pulled on the metal handle to make absolutely sure it was locked. We both knew a powerful enough explosion could break the glass, a smart enough thief could pick the lock, a strong enough storm could knock the whole damn store down. But that wouldn't happen, because there are cops, and weathermen and firemen, and boards we could put up if there was a storm coming, and someone would put out that fire if it got too close to the store, right? Right? "I'll see you when you get back." I held out my hand, as if to close a business deal. Confident and firm... it was what he needed. He scoffed. "The hand of rejection." "No..." Oh, I used to be like you! And you used to be like me. Just take my hand... I kept it outstreched and he took it, hesitantly. Only for a moment, then he started to walk away, to put the keys back in the register and leave, or go find someone else to talk to, I didn't really care where he was going I just wanted him here, now, or there, then, no difference. So I held on and he didn't resist. If he'd really wanted to he'd have let go, but I drew him in. I possessed him and nobody thinks that's evil when you call it love. Besides, he started it, he possessed me first. I just had to evolve in order to do the same. Not to him, for him. And me. I let go when Carolyn came in. "Bye Carolyn, it was nice to meet you." She looked up from the cash register, distractedly counting bills and coins that weren't hers. "Where you goin'?" "Out West." "He's going to the wild wild West. To have a blast." He leaned his back against the counter, blocking Carolyn from view. "I don't know where I'm going... I'm just running away. I'm always running away..." I saw him sprinting madly around Park Loop Road, telling everyone he was practicing for triathlons but knowing he was just balancing his univerese. Getting the world under his feet, instead of his shoulders where he was bound to drop it. His feet. They had the power to move the Earth instead of letting the Earth move him. "You're gonna have so much fun." The three of us were headed down the aisle to the back door. "I remember one time..." I flicked off a light switch, not once checking to see if it would come back on. I knew it would. I just knew. "My friend and I were at a party and everyeone else was asleep. We were awake and they were asleep and we hated it. And we were pretty sure they hated it too, cause they kept telling us to go to sleep. So we just got up. Went out to the garage, there were bikes there. And we just got on those bikes and rode like 10 miles! Because time didn't matter! And it was so beautiful..." He was locking the door behind us. I'm not sure he heard everything I said but I'm sure he will, someday, when he lets himself. "Goodbye Sherman's. Forever." He looked up and I made eye contact with him for the last time in months and that was OK with me and I knew one day it would be OK with him. "See you later!" I waved as if I'd see him tomorrow because I knew I would, I'd see him every day. I skipped off toward my car and he and Carolyn strolled along, depressed Earthlings that they were. Always looking for answers and never admitting they know. It's all right, sadness is just gravity. But not my gravity. "It's over..." he muttered, kicking the ground. "It's never over!" I screamed from across the parking lot. "You're never really running, you're just staying in the same place! You're worried your world's gonna explode... I'm just worried it's gonna hold me down!" I don't know how they reacted to that. They probably laughed at all the silly air in my head, or maybe they cried because of all the water in my words, or mayve they just blocked it out, stunned by the fire I started in them. But I know the initial reaction is never the final one. Fire will find a way into your heart like dirt will attach to your skin, like water will flow down your thoat and air finds little holes in you to keep you alive when you're asleep and not breathing. He'll be back. If I don't believe that for sure I'll have to come back to Earth. |
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| © Copyright 2001 Paula - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Well this certainly spun me around! Very good! I like the interplay of thoughts, that "being there" in body but the mind is elsewhere drawing analogies to what is happening around the body. Also enjoyed the earth, wind, fire, water symbolism! Very good! I believe I would like to read more of your works. |
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