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The Brink: The Drop
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The Brink: The Drop |
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DragonFang Senior Member
since 2000-03-09
Posts 522Missouri, USA |
One small note before the story, this is the first draft (eg not been edited yet) of the second story in a series (The Brink) that I'm writing. Hope ye enjoy. The Brink:The DropTarsis Empire Reign Year – 1438 Kar Republic Insurgence Year – 2 Earth Date: April 27 The drop-ship rumbled as the separation charges went off, separating the five-man transport from the Dreadnought class battle cruiser. The cruiser seemed to fall away from the drop-ship, slowly fading into the background. Shuddering violently the boosters fired and the smaller ship settled into an orbit. Flying partway around the planet until it was able to gain the proper entry vector. The monotone computer slowly read out the vector and that insertion was a go. The boosters fired again, and with a jerk the ship began it's rapid decent into the chaos that was below it. In a small cramped compartment, with five deeply padded seats and pull down bars, also padded, five soldiers sat, masks of death for faces. In a mix of emotion between exhilaration and absolute dread, a revolting miasma and a loving embrace, the five men sat, and stared at one another in acknowledgment that each one of them was relying on the others to stay alive. As they always had. As they always would until one of them failed, and they all died. The com came alive with static and a barely intelligible voice of the pilot, vainly trying to be heard over the blaring noises of re-entry into the planet's atmosphere, "Twenty second to insertion, ready to scramble." The four men on the sides looked toward the fifth man at the front of the compartment. At his silent nod they all double-checked the lock on the safety harness, and pulled down the visors on their helmets. Grasping their energy rifles next to them they all counted in their head for insertion. 5.... 4.... 3....2....1.... The drop-ship jolted and five small ejection seats fell away from it, accelerating on thrusters facing the heavens, propelling themselves downward for thousands of feet. The deceleration boosters kicked in just under radar range, slowing them down to a non-lethal speed before they hit the ground. Just before impact, seeming in a choreographed dance, all five men released the locks on their seats and scrambled, rifles in hand, ready to fire at the first thing that moved other than themselves. Emersed completely in their task, they didn't bother to notice their drop-ship climbing skyward, nor the other drop-ships as they unloaded their cargo on the planet's surface. Stone faced, the five men marched north towards their target. Marched to what would either be their greatest victory, or their death. Just as the next mission would be the same, and the one after that . . . ------------------ "Admiral?" "Yes, come in. What do you have to report?" "Sir, th ... the advanced weapons research center was taken out. No COM traffic in or out of that sector for the past 24 hours. Long range scans report the residual distortions caused by anti-matter warheads." The admiral, eyed the young man reporting to him. "Very well... get me an official report on what we know ASAP." He sighed quietly and then said, "We may just have to bring this war up a notch or two.... Dismissed soldier." Admiral Jerin leaned back in his chair. The war wasn’t going very well for the Empire . . . but then, the Empire hadn’t seen a real insurgence in a hundred or so years. People get soft. Armies get soft. He was going to have to take things to the next level . . . something to make the rebels sweat. ------ There was the polite tap on the door. “Enter!” General Gren said, with a slightly satisfied smirk on his face as he looked over recent battle reports from the front lines. The general’s slim young secretary came into his office and set down a stack of reports, then started walking towards the door. Halfway there she stopped and smiled at him. “Sir, that top report is from the Tarsis Empire’s advanced weapons research center, and the next one is a COM signal that we picked up going from one of the Tarsis Empire’s observation posts and their base of operation. It seems that no COM traffic has gone in or out of sector 1284 for the past 24 hours.” She gave him a whimsical little smile and walked out the door. Gren grinned to himself. This war was going wonderfully according to plan. "Sa souvraya niende missian ye." \ |
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| © Copyright 2001 Samson C. Justice - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
I promise not to crush your 'widdle ego'... lol... Ok..first - the Empire always will remind me of Star Wars..can you change that? |
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DragonFang Senior Member
since 2000-03-09
Posts 522Missouri, USA |
Star Wars? I don't know whether to take that as a compliment or an insult?  heheh NE way, I'm rather fond of 'Tarsis Empire'.. partly becuase I can abbreviate the the time period that they are in power to TER (read: tear) but ~_~ dunno, I might/might not, like I said, this is first draft, so we shall see."Sa souvraya niende missian ye." \ |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
Take it as a compliment...the story is good and you don't want to be compared to Star Wars do you?  |
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DragonFang Senior Member
since 2000-03-09
Posts 522Missouri, USA |
hmmm perhaps poet ye have read the first story in the series... I posted on this forum before I had decided to write a series of it I believe.. so if one were to search one would find it. 'Tis called Battle, not prefixed with The Brink, for that is the name of the series of course... hmm... I'm in an odd mood so I shall leave it at that. If you desire to know more... well I suppose you could write an ask.. or perhaps merely wait and see. "Sa souvraya niende missian ye." \ |
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fractal007 Senior Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 1958 |
DragonFang: It's refreshing to see some sci-fi around here. I'm not saying I don't like the other pieces I've read here, just that sci-fi is my genre. You did a rather good job on this one. However, your punctuation is severely lacking as are your descriptions. You might like to add more commas and get rid of those awkward ru-non sentences, while adding a bit more depth to your imagery and ambience through more descriptions. However, on the whole, this was a good piece of work. "If history is to change, let it change. If the world is to be destroyed, so be it. If my fate is to die, I must simply laugh" |
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