navwin » Main Forums » Passions in Prose » Journey of the Heart
Passions in Prose
Post A Reply Post New Topic Journey of the Heart Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
kitkat
Senior Member
since 2000-01-11
Posts 878
Nova Scotia

0 posted 2001-04-18 12:35 PM


The story you are about to read is true. It is a part of my life I wish to share. I had orginally written it in 6 parts but am posting the entire story here. I am new at story writing so feed back would be appreciated. I hope you enjoy.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Journey of the Heart


Part 1

It was a cool October morning, yet I woke up feeling very warm. All this
emotion whirling around me: excitement; fear; anxiety and hope.  It all
settled in the pit of my stomach. Today would be a test of my strength.

As I stumble out of bed, I feel my knees go weak. I feel nauseous.

Coffee,  I need Coffee. I pour myself a cup and hurriedly finish packing
my bags. It was time to go.  I called downstairs for the airport
shuttle.

I am just an American girl who has lived in the countryside for the
past  26 years. I never have traveled far from home. My family was
always close by. But today I am heading on a journey to another land.
One that I will travel alone. Fear sets in. What if I get on the wrong
plane? Can people tell I have never traveled alone before? Will my
friend, I met on the inter net, be at the other airport to meet me?

My fear is overriding my excitement and hopes. I take a deep breath to
calm my nerves.

Coffee, I need coffee. I stop at a snack bar and order a double. I walk
to my gate and board the right plane.

As the plane exits onto the runway, a smile appears on my face. I
reminisce of the night I first met my friend. I thought he was full of
himself. For a while I avoided chatting with him. I had warning signs
going off in my body. In the 1960's show Lost in Space? The robot would
always move its arms up and down repeating, 'Danger, danger Will
Robinson'. Well that was what my mind was telling me. I ignored it. I
began talking to my friend.

I found out that he was actually a nice person. I am glad I took the
risk to get to know him better. We would chat every night till the wee
hours of the morning. I found myself really liking this person from
another land. He was beginning to like me.

The plane is circling the Toronto Airport now. I look out my window.
Holy cow, I whispered, this place is huge. My hands begin to shake. Oh
God, can I do this? Guess I have no choice now, I am half way there. As
I get off the plane, the stewardess points me in the direction of Canada
Customs. Follow the signs, she says. I look at the signs and all I see
is French.

I swallow hard and begin to perspire. Christ, I can't read French. Panic
sets in. Looking the sign up then down I begin to giggle. Duh! Right in
front of my eyes I see the English version. Girl, get a hold of you
self, I say out loud. I pick up my bags and head to my next stop.

Going through Customs will be easy, I thought. Give them my ID and birth
certificate. No problem. Wrong!!!! The Customs agent starts asking me
all sorts of questions. You know the five W's. Why, where, when, who and
what. Ya, what the hell am I thinking. Thinking I should just turn
around and head home that's what.

No. No can't do that. My excitement and hope carry me onward as the
Customs agent sends me on my way.

Part 2

It is now 10:55 am. I look at my ticket to determine which gate I need
to go to next. Gate 22 - Terminal H. Departing at 11:30 am. I look
around to get my bearings. I see one of those "You are here" signs and
walk up to see where I am. I shake my head in disbelief. I am at
Terminal C and Terminal H looks miles away.

Okay, I sigh, you can walk really fast.  I start walking and my brain
begins to ask me; why did
you drink so much coffee this morning? Do you realize what happens when
you drink that much? There is no way I can  override what the lower half
of my system is telling me.

'Not now', I groan back, must get to my next flight.   Sorry kiddo, my
brain says, you need to
take a pit stop. Hurry, you can do it.  Up ahead I see the restroom sign
and make a quick stop.   As I exit the restroom I look at the time it is
now 11:10. Let‚s go feet, move it move it, move it!!!  I rush onward and
see Terminal H. Gate 22 comes into sight.  Need I say more? I'm the last
one boarding but at least I'm here, phew!

I walk down the aisle of the plane and find my seat. Less than two hours
and I will finally be at my
destination. I try to relax and make myself comfortable.  As I stare out
the window more memories flood my mind.

It was right around Memorial Day when we first started chatting.  We
would tell each other our hopes, fears and dreams. We had a lot in
common. We liked music, reading, socializing, but yet enjoyed being
homebodies. We would crack jokes, tease one another and we talked about
honesty. We described to each other what we thought life should be like.
How people forget the important things in a relationship. What we both
felt was important, the utmost thing, was communication.

I let out a giggle, boy we surely were doing that.

As the nights went by, I found myself sharing things with him I had
never shared with anyone
before. He shared things about his life with me. It felt right talking
with him. I felt safe and secure. Yet, I was frightened of the feelings
this man was awakening in me.

My God, I thought, he's just a faceless person I type to. I never
thought that communicating on the Internet would cause such feelings. I
had heard of Internet love, but I was too wise to fall for that. At
least I thought I was.

I had decided to take the first step and initiate a photo swap. This way
if this man had a
preference to the type of woman he wanted to associate
with he would see me; see the person that I am.

We decided to send each other pictures. How my heart pounded when I hit
that send button. Heck, I was on pins and needless. I waited anxiously
for his. We did not chat for a few days after that. I thought, 'Great; I
scared him away'.

I received his picture a few days later. Oh My God!! Was this really
him??? He was so handsome. No way a man like this would want a woman who
looked like me. I felt the wind knocked out of my sails. I had let
myself get carried away with words on a screen.

But enclosed with his pictures was a letter stating he liked what he
saw. I sat there blushing in front of my screen. Man! I have not blushed
in years. This man was slowly tearing down all of the walls. I thought I
had built them out of steel. I was wrong.

Part 3

How could a man I had never met in person evoke such emotion in me. Honestly I was not looking for this. I was not even sure I welcomed the feeling. To further the situation he lived so far away. Nothing will come of this, I thought. He is just a friend. Just a person you can talk with, laugh with. Someone you found you could share your most secret  thoughts with. Nothing more. Nothing less.  

As May turned into June and July came rolling around I was in constant battle with myself. Emotion over sensibility.  The pros against the cons.  Every time we talked my emotions and the pros would take the lead. As soon as I was off line my common sense and the cons fought back with such a force my whole body and mind ached. It was a no-win situation.

Then it happened. The surge of feeling that overwhelmed my body was too much for me to handle. We started talking about meeting each other in real time. I laughed at first, thinking he must be joking. He was not. He said he just had to meet me. He wanted to know for sure if what he was feeling (like me) was real or just an infatuation. All on your terms, he said. How ever you want to make the arrangements I will agree to them. I hesitated at first to reply. I was afraid. I was jubilant. I gave my answer. Okay I said, all on my terms. I will get back to you on the details.

My brain started working overtime. How, when, and where.  Okay the how. He can come by bus (his suggestion). I could pick him up at the bus station. Bring your whole family he said.. I laughed at that suggestion. No I think I will be okay I said. When? Um how about august ? I have vacation time then. Okay August it is. Where? I will make reservations at local hotels. I will make the plans for the whole weekend.  I can back out if necessary. This is great, I told myself, I am in charge . This man is totally putting his well-being in my hands. This made me feel safe. This made me a nervous wreck.

As the next few weeks passed I found keeping my mind focused was harder and harder each day. I was driving my friends crazy with my endless chatter of meeting my friend. I had a smile frozen on my face. Something that my friends and family had not seen in a long time.

The day finally came when my friend was to arrive. I must have called the bus station a dozen times making sure the bus would arrive at 8pm. Finally the person on the other end said Look lady why don’t you give me your Number and if there is a problem I will call YOU!. Well, I did not call again. I just drove to the station and waited.

When I heard the announcement of his bus arrival I froze. I truly looked like an idiot. There I was standing in the middle of the station with a smile pasted on my face looking out to the departure platform. Then I saw him. He was walking towards me. I noticed he had the same type of smile on his face. Then there we stood. Toe to toe. Nose to nose. Then there was the hug.

Part4

Oh how we hugged. The sensations that ran through me. It felt good. It felt right. I could feel my walls of steel weakening as he held me in his arms.  We finally released our embrace.  I touched his face. I pinched myself to see if I was in some fantasy dream. I pinched him. Wow , I said.  You are real. This is not a dream. We both sighed happily.
Looking into my eyes he said, Lets get out of here and go someplace we can talk. We left the bus station hand in hand both of us with smiles upon our faces.

We drove to the place I had made arrangements for him to stay. He checked himself in  and went to his room to drop of his luggage We went down stairs to the lounge, order ourselves a drink and began our conversation.

Neither one of us could believe this was actually happening. But it was. We talked for hours. Telling each other more and more. I spoke of my life so freely I wondered if I would scare him. But he asked for me to tell him more. I shared everything with him. He heard my whole life story from the time I had been sixteen till now. He shared his life with me. I was captivated by his words. Though different, his life was like mine. He had the same morals, upbringing, and shared the same ideals .  The evening was getting late and we decided to call it a night. Tomorrow would be another day we could continue are discovery of one another. We kissed (rather a long one) and said our good nights.

We began our day in the grocery store. You may think this strange but we were planning on a picnic. As we filled our basket with goodies (cheese, crackers, grapes and wine) we chatted about the first time we met.  We talked about the other people we knew and how they found it amazing we were actually meeting.You’re crazy, they told us. Be careful, they warned. We both agreed our internet friends meant well and they were right. We were crazy. We were cautious. We truly appreciated their concern.

What a lovely picnic we had.  What a romantic my friend was. He fed me grapes as we drank our wine. We shared more of our hopes and dreams. We were communicating with one another like we had known each other for years. We question what had brought us together. Was it fate? We both agreed no matter what it was, we were glad it happened. As the sun began to set we packed our things and returned to our motel.
That evening we had dinner and went walking under the stars and moon. We still had lots to say.

Both of us was trying to ignore the fact that he was leaving tomorrow. I guess he noticed the look of sudden sadness in my eyes. He asked me what was wrong. I told him I wish this night would last forever. Even though  I was just beginning to know him I felt I had known him always. The thought of him being so far away sadden me. He held me close and whisper to me he knew what I was feeling. If there was a way for him to stay he would. We both knew realistically it could not happen. Not know anyway.
We spent the rest of the night holding each other close dreading our farewell tomorrow.

Part 5

I awoke to a sunny day but my heart was shadowed with sadness. My friend was leaving today. In the past 48 hours I had been so happy. Never had I felt  in such away. Last night had been wonderful. My friend said something to me that shocked me though.  He looked me in the eyes and told me he loved me. I look at him and could see the sincerity and honesty in his eyes.  Then I realized something I had been trying to deny. Something that I do not do easily. I was falling in Love. I was falling hard. I tried to rationalize this feeling. I mean, I am one not easily taken in. I did not want to tell him. The best response I could muster up was I know.

We drove in silence to the bus station . Neither one of us wanting this to end.  He promised to e-mail me when he got home. Look for me on Iine, I said. I will be there. We hugged each other and gently I kissed his lips. He got on the bus and I walked back to my car. I stood there looking at him through the bus window. I turned my head away for I did not want him to see my tears. I stayed in the lot until his bus had left. I felt so alone right then. Was I letting go of something that may turn out to be the best thing ever? Was it a mistake not telling him how I felt?  Did he really Love Me? As I drove home an idea occurred to me. I could not wait to suggest it to my friend and see what he thought. When I arrived at home I turned my computer on and waited.....

Hi there :-), the message popped up on my screen, I finally made it home.
I was so excited I could not type at first.
You There? The next message said.
Yes I am, I replied.
I miss you already, he said. I saw you crying when I left today.
I felt slightly embarrassed. Oh, did not mean for you to see that.
It’s okay, I understand what you were feeling. Are you doing better now?
I am doing alright. But I have an idea? wanna hear it?
Sure, he types, lay it on me.
Well, I was thinking. I have a 10 day vacation coming up in Oct/Nov. and was wondering if you would like me to come up to visit you? I know ten days is a long visit but I need to make sure.
Make sure of what? he asks.
To make sure what I am feeling is true. To make sure what you are feeling is true. I need to be with you again. To learn more about you. So what do you think?
What do I think!!!! It is a great idea. I would love to have you here with me. But 10 days????? How about making it longer stay a month a year forever. Please come. Come be with me.
I can hear the longing in his voice.
My mind began reeling in all directions. Never have I had a man want me so.I typed back that it would only be for 10 days. I will start making the arrangements tomorrow.
So begins The Journey of My Heart.
  
Part 6

The blinking of the fasten seat belts sign caught my eye. We were getting ready to land at the Halifax International Airport. This is were my trip would end or was it the beginning? My excitement grew as we taxied into the terminal.

He told me he would meet me at my gate as I got off the plane. I could not wait to see him again. I could hear my heart pounding in my ears.

As I entered the waiting area, my eyes searched eagerly for his face. I felt my heart stop beating. I did not see him anywhere. Oh My God!!! Panic set in. He was not here.
I started to walk up and down the terminal thinking he was at the wrong gate. I had the look of a deer caught in headlights. My eyes huge from fright. All sorts of things were going through my mind. He is not coming. He changed his mind. Everything he said to me was a lie. I had to get a grip of myself before I fainted. I headed to the nearest restroom.

I stood in front of the mirror and started to talk to the image I saw. Oh what am I going to do? Everyone thought this was a crazy idea. How could I be so stupid. Okay girl, take some deep breaths relax and think. I took my time and calmed myself down. There has to be a logical reason why he was not here. Maybe traffic held him up? Maybe he forgot what time I was arriving? What if he had a medical emergency? Well what ever the case  give him a call. But first thing first. Go get your baggage and go from there. I composed myself and headed for the baggage claim.

I was unaware of my surroundings. My thoughts evaded my mind of what I was going to do. I walked over to the baggage carousel and picked up my baggage. Out of the corner of my eye I saw this man standing against a pillar. His back was to me. I had to look twice for it was my friend. Hmmm, I thought why did he not come help me. Then it dawned on me he had not seen me. A wave of relief washed over my body. No wonder he was not upstairs. He was in the wrong place to meet me. I plied my baggage onto a cart and quietly walked up behind him. In a sad voice I spoke to him.
Excuse me sir, I think I am lost. Can you help me? I must have startled him for he jumped around and said where did you come from? I thought you would be coming through these gates down stairs.
I laughed and told him  my plane arrived at the upstairs terminal.  Do you realize the things that ran through my head when I did not see you? At that moment he hugged me. It felt so good. I finally could tell him what I wanted to for so long. I whispered in his ear softly, I Love You.  How he had waited to hear those words from me. Let’s get out of here he said. We have so much to talk about.

I won’t bore you with the details of my 10 day visit. But, I will tell you it was heaven. I will let you know that in those ten days I made a decision that has effected my life enormously. We both came to the realization that we needed to be together. I told my Love that I would move to be with him. and that is just what I did. On Feb. 3, 2001, I made my move from Maine to Nova Scotia. The Journey of My Heart is now complete. I am where I need to be.

Authors notes:
This story is not really over. My love and I have the whole future to look forward to. True love has no boundaries. Whatever forces were behind us meeting that night in May 2000 we will never know. We just want to thank them. I would also like to thank all that help make this possible for us. Our internet friends who believed in us. Our families that did not discourage us. We both are now complete and happy. To my Love I say “I Love You” Always, Forever and Then some. April 17, 2001
Kathleen Harmon©april 17,2001


© Copyright 2001 Kathy Harmon - All Rights Reserved
Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley
1 posted 2001-04-20 02:14 AM


What a lovely story!! I wish you both much happiness.  
DawnG
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2000-06-23
Posts 1494
United States
2 posted 2001-04-22 12:50 PM


Kitkat,

oh, I had tears pouring from my eyes as I read this. I too met someone online and even though we are no longer together I will never forget those two years we spent together, the heartache of being apart and the joy of being in each others arms that first time. I am so much better for having known him. So many aspects of your story hit very close to home as things happened very similar in my relationship. I am very happy for you both, and wish you all the happiness in the world.
                           Dawn

kitkat
Senior Member
since 2000-01-11
Posts 878
Nova Scotia
3 posted 2001-04-24 03:30 PM


Thank you Poet de Vine and Dawn--We are very happy

Dawn- I can tell you have no regrets of making the choice you made. It is hard to make a choice especially moving to a new country. But I had to follow my heart as you followed yours. I am so glad I did.

Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Main Forums » Passions in Prose » Journey of the Heart

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary