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Loss of a Lifetime
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Loss of a Lifetime |
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fractal007 Senior Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 1958 |
Rain dripping slowly, like tears of a forgotten God watching his once beautiful creation die. It falls from old wires crisscrossing buildings and posts. It follows long established paths along the walls of dead buildings, like tears streaming down cheeks. Carol Madden looked up into the grey sky, seeing nothing but raindrops falling heavily into her eyes. Acid rain. You reap what you sow… “Hey!” A voice sounded. “Get the hell out of my district.” It was another of the many voices of lonely forgotten people. They populated this old quarter of the city like a country. Carol gave no answer, but instead walked toward the voice. She was soaked, and her clothes were losing their colour by the minute. The voice had come from a dark haired bearded man. He hid from the world inside of a cardboard box underneath an old steel girder. The man looked up at Carol with a look of amusement. “What are you doing here in this rain?” He asked. “Come to preach to me have you?” His voice echoed all across the buildings. A tingle shot through Carol’s body. Only the missionaries came out to this part of town. They were a weird bunch of people, preaching eternal fire and damnation after death, as though this wasn’t enough. Everything here was hopeless. Only the poor and the forgotten lived here - if you could call it living. “I’m going to hell after I die because I’ve made nothing of my life right?” The man said. Carol looked down, feeling almost no emotion. Her hand slowly reached into her pocket. A tinge of sympathy. She grabbed her only food, a daily supper ration, from her pocket. Carol knelt down, and placed the food on the ground in front of the man. Was that a tear in the man’s eye? Carol walked away, saying nothing. She could hear nothing from the man. He must have been eating. As Carol sat on the train back into the living quarters of New Manhattan, she watched the city around her. All was so grey and dead. It looked as though people had given up, and were clinging to all that they had left – work and money. The train moved onward, into the barren landscape and Carol realized that she’d left more than food behind. "If history is to change, let it change. If the world is to be destroyed, so be it. If my fate is to die, I must simply laugh" -- Magus |
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| © Copyright 2001 fractal007 - All Rights Reserved | |||
LoveBug
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697 |
This is a wonderful piece of work. Very thought-provoking and disturbing. I especally love the ending. Thanks for posting.  "Men judge generally more by the eye than by the hand, for everyone can see and few can feel."-Machiavelli |
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Dusk Treader
Moderator
Senior Member
since 1999-06-18
Posts 1187St. Paul, MN |
Fractal this was an awesome piece. Very short but you managed to create quite an atmosphere. That opening paragraph really created an excellent mood. Your point was excellently made at the end too. These little dark scenes you've posted in here (I read another piece by you about a "Christian" society a while back) are really excellent and I'll be looking for more.. keep posting! "And every state of mind, left to itself, every shutting up of the creature within the dungeon of its own mind - is, in the end, Hell" - C.S. Lewis |
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Wesley the Blue Member
since 1999-09-02
Posts 426Forest Lake, MN, USA |
Very cool. I liked this one, it was short and to the point, but didnt leave out any of the neccisarry descriptions. Great job. Keith every day is a new day with which we can change the world |
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fractal007 Senior Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 1958 |
Thankyou all for the compliments. I figured I'd write a story in which someone was not conclusively religious or non religious, but did moral and sympathetic things. I will try and come up with more soon. "If history is to change, let it change. If the world is to be destroyed, so be it. If my fate is to die, I must simply laugh" -- Magus |
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