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Midnight Dew
Member
since 2001-01-07
Posts 50
Forest Lake, MN

0 posted 2001-01-07 11:34 PM


The girl was in fifth grade.

She had a group of friends, 4 in all, including her.  They always spent time together, hung out at school and recess, talked in class, and so on.  The girl felt she was blessed to have friends like them.  She saw herself as happy, loved.

One day the girl went to school.  She couldn't understand why none of the other 3 would talk to her, but they wouldn't.  They either ignored her or insulted her.  They said hurtful things, until she couldn't take it anymore and moved across the room, bewildered at their verbal abuse, and aching on the inside.

In lunch, she found a place at their table, her usual place, only to have them move away, to the other side of the lunchroom.  She sat there, biting her lip and picking at her food. She couldn't eat, trying to figure out where she went wrong, what she did that offended them, that made them hate her.  She couldn't understand why they didn't like her anymore, but she resolved to make them, to integrate herself back in.  

At recess, she tried to follow them, but they told her to leave them alone, so she did.  She paced among the snowbanks, chewing the inside of her cheek, tears streaming down her cheeks.  She wiped them away with her mitten, and it froze hard from the wetness.  All she felt was an aching void.  She was back to the loneliness she had felt for so long.    

She somehow made it through the rest of the day, all by herself.  Her 'friends' continued to ignore her, or hit her with scathing comments, until she boarded the bus home.  She cried all the way home, but hid it from her mother when she arrived.  The only thing she could think of that would cause them to act like this, was that they had finally seen the inside of her.  The part she had always seen as lacking.  The part that she masked, that she lived in fear of having unmasked.  All she could think was that they had discovered her true self and hated it.  

That night, she cried herself to sleep, hating herself for being too weak to stand up for herself, and dreaming of happiness.  

The next day, the girl went back to school.  She was welcomed by her small group, laughingly admitted back in.  The ringleader told her that they had done what they had done for laughs, because it was funny to see her so upset.  

The girl was outraged.  She had her friends back, but the void remained.  They somehow managed to exist side by side.  She couldn't understand.  She couldn't believe her best friends deliberately tried to hurt her.  But she swallowed it up for one reason alone.

The girl was afraid of losing who she had.  She had no other friends but the three and could not imagine having nobody.  She had moved through life until 4th grade with only one friend, who had moved away in 2nd.  She had been alone for two years, and was in constant terror of going back to that empty wasteland of loneliness.  She was used to being alone, but now had a taste of friendship, and would do anything to keep a hold of it.  

The girl was insecure.  She had never had anyone point out her good qualities and so did not know them.  She always felt she was fooling these people into liking her, that at any moment that friendship would be gone.  Because of this, she could not stand up for herself to tell her friends to treat her better than they did. She suffered for it.

The girl was me.  

I posted this in response to my friend's comments on my piece, "Alone."  He said he did not see me as lonely, but as a 'social butterfly.'  I did not take offense at this, but it made me think about what actually made me lonely.  This incident came to mind as a sumnation of my younger experiences.
I had not thought of it for a while, and wanted to share it in written form.  Thanks for listening.    




[This message has been edited by Midnight Dew (edited 01-08-2001).]

© Copyright 2001 Caitlin Hull - All Rights Reserved
Maverick Wolf
Member
since 1999-11-13
Posts 94
Scandia, MN
1 posted 2001-01-07 11:46 PM


Great write.  I think that the basis for a much stronger piece is here.  I think emotions could be expanded upon to give a much more powerful presentation.  I love the style, I love the details.  I love the development.  Great write.

[This message has been edited by Maverick Wolf (edited 01-07-2001).]

Maverick Wolf
Member
since 1999-11-13
Posts 94
Scandia, MN
2 posted 2001-01-08 12:13 PM


I couldn't wait to see what you could do with this piece, but it was worth the wait.  the revision is wonderful.  It's just great.  There is so much more to it now.  It's great.  Wonderful job.  I love it.
Midnight Dew
Member
since 2001-01-07
Posts 50
Forest Lake, MN
3 posted 2001-01-08 01:33 PM


Thank you so much, MW for helping me out with revising my piece.  I like it a lot better now, and your comments really do mean a lot to me.  Thanks again!

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