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Poet deVine
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Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley

0 posted 2000-12-30 11:27 PM




It began slowly, as most stories do. Boy meets girl. Boy does something dumb. Boy loses girl. Girl forgives boy and they live happily ever after. Only this time, it didn’t happen that way. This time, girl didn’t forgive boy. And there was no happily ever after. Not for boy anyway.

For boy, it was a life lived in a twelve by twelve cell in the dank basement of girl’s house. And night after night, he lay awake on a blanket provided for him as he listened to girl party with his friends and his family. That is of course, after the police gave up the search for his body.

Boy disappeared three weeks after he had been found in bed with girl’s sister. He begged for forgiveness. But the girl he thought was so sweet and kind hadn’t forgiven him. She forgave her sister! Said boy had seduced the innocent young teen. Boy knew better. Boy knew that the sister, at 17 had been more experienced than even HE was! And she was good, much better than girl. He never told girl that though. It would have hurt her too much.

So boy spent two weeks trying to talk to girl. Then suddenly, she agreed. They met at the local ‘Steak and Shake’ and as he pled his case, she cried softly. When he asked one last time “can you ever forgive me”, she told him she might be able to but they needed to talk in private.  Boy couldn’t believe his ears! Usually ‘talking in private’ meant sex. He quickly agreed.

Girl took boy to her home and downstairs to the basement they had used many times for ‘private talks’. Boy breathed quickly now, ready for the talk. Instead of the old plaid sofa they usually sat on, girl led him through a door behind the old fridge girl’s dad had painted purple. It was stocked with cases of Budweiser (minus the two boy snuck as girl opened a panel to reveal a hidden door).

“When we bought the house, I found this old bomb shelter,” girl explained. “I come down here sometimes to be alone.”

“Hey!” boy exclaimed. “How come you never told me about this place before? We could have had our private talks here!”

“Silly,” girl said. “This is MY special place. No one knows about it but me.”

“And now me,” boy said.

“Yes.” Girl replied with a strange glint in her eyes.

And then boy found out he hadn’t been forgiven and wasn’t going to have any more “private talks”. Instead, girl tied up boy, forced him to sign a farewell note and then left him alone in the room.

Oh, there was food to eat. Cans of Spam that he opened with a little key from the bottom of the tin. Bags of dried Grape Nuts. Boxes of powdered milk that with a little water from a large green Army canteen tasted almost like white water.

And when boy needed to relieve himself, there was a port-a-potty from hell. It drained down under the room and lay there, like last weeks waste (which it was) until boy nearly puked up his Spam. Either way, that Spam was coming out of his body with rapidity!

After about a week, boy asked girl to let him go. Every two days she came down to bring him more water. And each time, he pleaded, begged, cried and threatened. Each time, she smiled sweetly and said ‘no’. She told him the police were searching for his body. His mother was devastated, his father frantic. And then there was a rumor that  boy was gay and had run off with a biker from a neighboring town.

“What?” boy demanded. “Who said that??”

Girl just smiled sweetly.

Weeks passed. Boy could hear the comings and goings upstairs and though he could hear them, no matter how loudly he yelled, no one could hear him. So there he stayed. Week after week. Month after month. Until he lost track of time completely.

There should be a moral to this story. Don’t fool around with your girlfriend’s sister or something like that. But there isn’t. And boy? Well, if you live in a house with a basement, lay your ear to the floor and listen. You never know. Your mother just might have a secret that she’s been keeping since she was a teen. Just look into your mother’s eyes. Smile. Doesn’t she have the ‘sweetest smile’?


© Copyright 2000 Poet deVine - All Rights Reserved
Dusk Treader
Moderator
Senior Member
since 1999-06-18
Posts 1187
St. Paul, MN
1 posted 2000-12-31 12:11 PM


ROTFLMAO! Sharon this was awesome! I love the whole new spin on the tired old boy meets girl line... I especially liked how you kept the characters as "boy" and "girl." Loved this one Sharon!  

Abrahm Simons

"I'm not sick, but I'm not well, and I'm so hot, cause I'm in Hell." - Harvey Danger



Sven
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937
East Lansing, MI USA
2 posted 2000-12-31 12:49 PM


Ok, this makes me want to see what's in your basement. . .

Just a little freaky. . . but I like it!!!



--------------------------------------------------------

That which gives light must endure burning
--Victor Frankl


WhtDove
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-22
Posts 9245
Illinois
3 posted 2000-12-31 01:02 AM


I think you've been alone too long ROFL!

Love it Sharon!  And a cliffhanger at that. LOL

Boy? Calling boy? are you still alive?
Are we doing a sequel?  huh huh?


Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296
Purgatorial Incarceration
4 posted 2000-12-31 03:01 AM


Hmmm Sharon - I think I have to agree with Becca here - you have been alone too long!   Your trademark, in both poetry and prose, is that your heart shows through in them all. It does in this one too - though with a harder, more sardonic edge!  

Lady - this one absolutely had us in stitches! I read it out loud and it was all I could do in places to keep reading. Marvellously rendered, and I also agree with Abe as to your choice of maintaining anonymoity throughout! VERY well done - another soon-to-be-classic!

C

Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley
5 posted 2000-12-31 11:38 AM


Right now, for the life of me, I can't write a poem. I sat down to 'fiddle' with some lines. Boy meets girl were the first 3 words I wrote - I was going to brainstorm on paper. Thirty minutes later, I had this story. Not a poem - prose. Perhaps I will change my name to Prose deVine.....

Thank you all..glad you enjoyed it!!! (I'm listening - but I don't have a basement! My mom does though..hmmmm)

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

6 posted 2001-01-01 04:39 AM


OH...BOY!!!!  

Yep...this one definitely makes one wonder where your head is at...or even where HIS head is at...(hmmm...let's not pursue that line of thought...)  LMAO now...and the only thing that bothers me? Is that this left my mind to fill in the details...grin...NOW WE CAN PAGE DR. FREUD....

Irish Rose
Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263

7 posted 2001-01-01 11:57 AM


I can relate to this. NO not the story although I did live in a basement at one time!  I mean, not being able to write a poem.  I love prose, maybe I'll write something while I'm relaxing and waiting for the right muse.  

"Every man dies.
Not every man truly lives."
Braveheart

Kathleen



Maverick Wolf
Member
since 1999-11-13
Posts 94
Scandia, MN
8 posted 2001-01-01 01:50 PM


I really don't know what to say on this one.  I do like the "Boy" and "Girl" names that keep in sync with the catch phrase.  This piece has a slight resemblence, at least in my mind, to Poe's "Cask of Amontillado." (sp?)  I like the piece.  It's one of those nice pieces (that definately should be read out loud) to read and just put a smile on your face.

Yesterday's history, tomorrow's a mystery, and today is a gift. That's why they call it the present.

LoveBug
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697

9 posted 2001-01-01 09:19 PM


Hehehe... This is great, Sharon! Revenge can be so sweet!  

"Where there is great love there are always miracles" -Cather
"Love heals everything, and love is all there is"- Zukav



Alwye
Moderator
Member Elite
since 1999-06-16
Posts 3850
In the space between moments
10 posted 2001-01-01 10:49 PM


Awesome Sharon!  Some people should think twice before they go messing around...I loved the last paragraph, it was great!  I think you should be Poet and Prose deVine!  

*Krista Knutson*

I'm a slow dying flower
In a frost-killing hour
The sweet turning sour and untouchable...
-Natalie Merchant

Tamma
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2000-01-17
Posts 794
In His Arms, Harpers Ferry, WV
11 posted 2001-01-16 05:10 PM


Interesting twist!! i dont think ive ever seen the ol' boy meets girl story told anything like this before  

www.angelfire.com/wv2/poetrycorner
I'm just a girl looking at a guy asking him to love me


purpleprose
New Member
since 2001-01-15
Posts 3

12 posted 2001-01-17 04:22 PM


You have made my day!!!  I am smiling with the ideas you have given.  Ah! For what might have been.

Purple

Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley
13 posted 2001-01-17 07:48 PM



LOL

Disclaimer: PLEASE do not attempt this at home!  

blackhalo
Member
since 2000-02-15
Posts 467
Denver, CO
14 posted 2001-01-18 12:33 PM


OHH, POET!  This is absolutely amazing!  And, too late, I already found my bomb shelter...  I am in awe!  Wonderful!  *laughs wickedly "bwa ha ha ha ha"*
Very bright
Alicia

Romy
Senior Member
since 2000-05-28
Posts 1170
Plantation, Florida
15 posted 2001-01-18 11:03 PM


You know...I haven't seen my daughter's boyfriend around here lately...LOL
First, I want to tell you how much I enjoyed your short story!  I love that kind of stuff... anything with a fresh, new twist!

Now, I better go check the basement!

Temptress*Moon
Member
since 2001-01-15
Posts 240
Long Island, NY
16 posted 2001-01-19 12:59 PM


Poet Devine
This was GREAT*giggles*
Temp!



I slept and dreamed that life was beauty was thy dream then a shadowy lie? -ESH-

Pearls_Of_Wisdom
Member
since 2000-09-02
Posts 175

17 posted 2001-01-19 08:36 PM


Hello Poet DeVine,

I enjoyed the story too. Not to wreck the mood of all these responses or anything, but, call me slow, I wasn't sure about the tone until about halfway through. Maybe I'm just not as familiar with your work as the other poets. At first I thought you were being ironic but dark, then I finally clued in that you were being those things, but also more sarcastic than I originally got. Until this realization, I found it incongruous that you kept saying "boy" did such and such, "girl" said such and such. But I can see that this was intended to add the tone. There we go. That's my rambling for the day. Anyway, hope that came out okay. Nice work! I was NOT expecting that at all. Very original.

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