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The Dragonflies of Evergeen
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The Dragonflies of Evergeen |
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Alwye
Moderator
Member Elite
since 1999-06-16
Posts 3850In the space between moments 
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Dragonflies. I heard them fluttering and buzzing around my softly trembling body. They came so close that I almost felt their scaled wings brushing against my cheeks. I lashed out, violently hurling my body at the vile insects, but only to meet with cold, sterile air. Then it hit me. It was only the gentle hum of the ancient steel fan that was bothering me and conjuring the image of the horrific swarm. I then slowly took a breath, savoring the calm that, for a moment, enveloped my weary limbs. Sanity had become a fleeting experience, for I was falling deeper and deeper into the black, oily mess of my twisted thoughts every day. “Krystal, sweetheart, it’s time for your 8:00pm meds.” A gentle, melodic voice called to me. I rose unsteadily to greet the nurse at my door. She smiled rather kindly and handed me a small paper cup filled with the various medications issued to me. I simply stared at them for a long while, wondering what kind of poison they were forcing me to take into my body. She watched me swallow the colorful batch of pills and then told me to rest. Once the nurse closed the door behind her, I was left alone. I took this time to gaze at the pastel room I resided in. The walls were painted a mint green and various garden themed pictures adorned them, giving the room an almost welcoming feel. But one thing about the place shook me to the core. Although the walls were freshly painted, dark shadows were plainly visible beneath the green. It looked to me like blood. I shuddered to think as to what may have happened to the previous tenant of the room, especially considering the large dark stains that loomed before me. I told myself not to think of it any longer. Instead I let my thoughts drift back to before the endless cycle of medication and sleep, to before my nightmares controlled me. I smiled softly, letting the warm memories wrap themselves around my shivering body. “Krystal.” His voice spoke my name with a light tranquillity. His eyes were a lovely mixture of blue and green and they sparkled whenever his gaze met mine. Every time he spoke to me, I nearly dissolved in the deep, rich tone of his words. “Adrian...” I breathed, almost feeling his arms circle around my waist. I could picture his dark curls, light eyes, and slightly mischievous smile. I yearned for him with every pulsing fiber of my being. I ripped myself from the quaint daydream before I became lost completely in the past. I knew it was pointless to envision a dream that held no real hope. Instead I threw myself down upon the lavender lace bedspread and sobbed violently. Once I felt I had let enough tears fall in self pity, I let my thoughts drift once more to Adrian. Only this time I pictured what I know now to be the last time I would ever hold him in my arms. “Krystal, love, I have something to tell you.” Adrian spoke to me with a slight hint of sadness in his normally carefree voice. “What’s wrong Adrian?” I asked, sensing that something was not right. “I’ve been drafted into the war. I leave for basic training tomorrow.” He said to me, his face cold, but his eyes burning with unmistakable fear. I stood utterly frozen, unable to fully grasp his words. “Krystal, I’m sorry...there’s nothing I can do. We’ll reschedule the wedding, we’ll wait until after this mess is over. We’ll figure something out...we will be married, love. It’ll just be a little longer until that day comes, that’s all.” He said in a low whisper as I cried softly against his chest. I rose my head to look at him and found him crying as well. He kissed me gently and told me that he wouldn’t have time to see me before he left. “I guess this is goodbye then...” I said between nearly hysterical sobs. “I’ll be home before you know it.” He said, forcing a bittersweet smile. I hugged him one last time and watched him walk away. One month later I was contacted by his father. Adrian had been killed by an enemy sniper. I remembered feeling as if the bullet that had killed the love of my life had also ripped through my chest. For days I sat in complete silence, refusing to eat or sleep. Finally, out of desperation, my mother brought me to the Evergreen Mental Institution. They took me in instantly, diagnosing me with some mental condition that I can’t even pronounce. My mother waved goodbye to me, assured that I would be well taken care of. I guess what my definition of “well taken care of” and Evergreen’s definition of it are quite different. They threw me in a sloppily painted bedroom, fed me a large array of medication to keep me quiet, and told my mother that I was “adjusting nicely”. In reality I was loosing any grasp of sanity I may have had left after Adrian’s death. The drugs given to me made me see things, made me scream in terror at everyday occurrences. In response to my behavior, the nurses forced more medication into my body. This cycle occurred day in and day out for as long as I can remember and it continues to occur. Only now I think the drugs are beginning to have a permanent effect on my mind. I can feel the pills taking effect now. The room is swirling, a mass of mint green and dark, bloody shadows. Screams echo in my ears and course wildly through my veins. And the gentle hum of the dragonflies grows louder...and louder. They’re touching my skin now, crawling into my mouth, clawing at my eyes. I’m scared...real scared...I shriek in fear...but why bother? No one hears me anyway... *Krista Knutson* "One can never consent to creep when one feels an impulse to soar." Helen Keller |
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| © Copyright 2000 Krista Botterill - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Dusk Treader
Moderator
Senior Member
since 1999-06-18
Posts 1187St. Paul, MN |
"The drugs given to me made me see things, made me scream in terror at everyday occurrences. In response to my behavior, the nurses forced more medication into my body." Now that's a rather frightening idea... The ending to this story was creepy, the poor woman forced out of her sanity by those trying to heal her... The whole tale was sad and strange. You could easily picture the ward. Wonderful writing, love. A very good show of storytelling  )Abrahm Simons "I'm not sick, but I'm not well, and I'm so hot, cause I'm in Hell." - Harvey Danger |
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LoveBug
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697 |
This is a really well-written piece. Your imagery is very vivid, and the storyline is very good. I do believe that losing someone I loved like that would make me go crazy... but this person definently didn't deserve to be plunged into deeper misery with medication. The saddest part is that is happens all the time. Thank for posting. "Where there is great love there are always miracles" -Cather "Love heals everything, and love is all there is"- Zukav |
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fractal007 Senior Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 1958 |
WHOA!!! I love the sense of hopelessness conveyed in this piece. I'm glad that we are poets and writers! If we ever get into a situation like this, we can write until we die, instead of screaming in pain! But thankyou for sharing! This was beautiful. Your final climax of terror, utter dispair, and hopelessness, at the end, is admirable. It is almost reminiscent of the ending of Orwell's 1984. |
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Kevin
since 1999-11-02
Posts 729Torrington, Ct, Usa |
glad i tripped into this forum  dont think your gonna get rid of me now |
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Broken_Winged_Angel Senior Member
since 2000-04-06
Posts 994Small Town, Somewhere |
*shivers* One of my fears... Too many friends have lost it after being put on emotion affecting drugs by doctors... Well done!!!! |
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Alwye
Moderator
Member Elite
since 1999-06-16
Posts 3850In the space between moments |
Thank you all very much for your kindness, I appreciate it. *Krista Knutson* "One can never consent to creep when one feels an impulse to soar." Helen Keller |
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Dawn Eclipse Senior Member
since 2000-01-31
Posts 637The Horsehead Nebula |
Wonderful story Krissa. I always enjoy stories... and this one is one of the best i've read in a while. Wonderful images. "Forget regret, or life is yours to miss. No other course, no other way... No day but today" ~Broadway Musical RENT~ *Cassandra Roseen* |
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