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aurora rain
Member
since 2000-11-15
Posts 90


0 posted 2000-11-16 08:28 PM


i've written these a lot more than poetry. they are abstract.



fifteen-minute sidewalk

And I will listen to you empty out your heart at five past eleven, before the sun rises, but after it sets, when you realize how simple it is to find the weakness in the stitches, to easily rip the seams, to make me suffer.

If I had the chance to gather inhibitions once again, I would. If I had the chance to make yet another half-hearted affirmation (the sun always rises, the moon reitirates in its cycles, empty-to-full, empty-to-full---and I always hang on every word that escapes from your lips) I would give my last breath to you, placing it in your hands.

Because I think I need that sort of control, from you. I need that sense of domination, that sense of living for something, not through something, and certainly not solitarily. I need to suffer to reach that point, where my heart is half-split and my eyes are half-teared and there are sixteen thousand ants on the sidewalk marching in unison to the drum-beat of my heart, following our conversation on the sidewalk.

It is now fifteen minutes past eleven, and under one hundred words have been spoken, most of them tearful, staining the sidwalk. I forget what we are talking about, but I know it isn't love.

There are so many things that cannot be said in fifteen minutes. And I know now that no matter how long this conversation lasts, it will never be over. Because no matter how many times they try to sweep away the sidewalks, the stains always return.


© Copyright 2000 aurora rain - All Rights Reserved
Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
1 posted 2000-11-16 09:22 PM


aurora--this does sound much like poetry...the build up..all the thoughts, stated so very well...and then the killer ending..I liked it..and your writing skill is evident.
warmhrt
Senior Member
since 1999-12-18
Posts 1563

2 posted 2000-11-17 10:21 AM


AR,

I really like your style. Your piece here is abstract, but not TOO. You seem to have a unique talent. The ending was smashing. Enjoyed it muchly.
mia

...got to be somewhere better than in the middle...~Wallflowers

OLIAS
Senior Member
since 2000-06-20
Posts 1090
Pearl city Iowa
3 posted 2000-11-17 03:11 PM


Very narative and expressive, I also enjoyed the ending. Thank you for sharing,
Regards,
Olias

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