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Ya Na Gabaryioo P'Angliski!
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Ya Na Gabaryioo P'Angliski! |
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Alicat Member Elite
since 1999-05-23
Posts 4094Coastal Texas 
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It was a sham, a shameless hoax perpetrated upon mankind. How do I know? I read it and knew it to be true, for if it's printed, it MUST be true. Only a sick and mentally unstable person would take such time and effort to create a printed falsehood. But I digress. The premise of my ground-shaking discovery is this: There is no other language than English. English has always been around. The Bible was written in English, and I've yet to see any documentation about Christ in Hebrew-Aramaic. It is my belief and conviction that all other 'languages' are merely exquisitely crafted codes, taught to people in the hope that they will continue this charade as editors and translators. But I have exposed them! I have found the secret. Due to the cultured belief in American superiority, all other cultures must thereby be labeled inferior. Howsoever, this superiastic attitude, by its very nature, bestows a lambient insecurity which behooves the necessity for something or someone to look down upon. Hence: multi-translations of the root English through ciphered filters. An example would be a VCR manual translated into English from a Dutch version of the Korean by the Kipsigi from the original English. However, there has been a festering boil found within the American psyche: jaded cynacism. Primarily this cynacism is manifested by the rampant disbelief in anything put in English, thereby giving rise to the need for foreign codes. If a man from Arkansas said, 'Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.', we wouldn't have believed him. But if someone with a culturally practiced accent were to say, 'Zometimez a czigarrrrr iz jut a czigarrrrr.', he would be hailed as a brilliant pychoanalyst, instead of being labeled a pervert. Since it has been bandied about by the marketing sector that anything run through linguistic hoops must be better than the same article manufactured locally, the jaded populous openly accepted such, especially since the marketing agents worded their manifesto with careful inflection and enunciation, utilizing the tools taught to them while in primary school under the guised form of Multi-Lingual Education. One such perpetration has been the continued propogation of the Cannes Film Festival. Now has come an end to this expose, at least for the time being. I have seen the glint of light off of 'foreign' lenses, and know my activities are being scrutinized and analyzed. However, when comes the time of interrogation and incarceration for 'subversive terrorism against the International Community', I will have at my disposal the ultimate weapon: 'Ya nyezh nyioo! Ya nyezh nichivo nyezh nyioo horoscho!' Alicat *Note: 'Ya na gabaryioo p'Angliski' = 'I do not speak English' 'Ya nyezh nyioo! Ya nyezh nichivo nyezh nyioo horoscho!' = 'I know nothing! I know nothing good (or I know nothing about it)'* If I were any more laid back, I'd be in a coma. |
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| © Copyright 2000 Alastair Adamson - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Skyfyre Senior Member
since 1999-08-15
Posts 1906Sitting in Michael's Lap |
Ali: This sounds like something I would come up with one night when left alone in a foul mood with a good supply of high-proof alcohol (or other psychoactive of your choice). It would then be scrawled haphazardly upon some obliging nearby surface -- say, my high school diploma (who needs it anyway?) -- to discovered upon the morrow with a foggy brain and a "What the hell is this..?" In plain "English:" I LOVED IT! LMAO Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large numbers. |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
Tis all to appropriate today sir!!! I think this language is spoken in Florida and therefore no one could tell WHO they were voting for....  |
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Nicole Senior Member
since 1999-06-23
Posts 1835Florida |
M'friend...I can't decide if I'm laughing more from this little trot through American society, or from Linda's response. I have come to one very strong conclusion though... Dear, you need to get out more.  Hugs Nikki |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
LOL...thanks for the early a.m. smiles! {~,^} Karilea If I whisper, will you listen?... I would rather be silent and write, then speak loudly and be bound. KRJ |
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Romy Senior Member
since 2000-05-28
Posts 1170Plantation, Florida |
Very entertaining read Alicat! But be careful, I think the Men in Black have their eye on you...LOL [This message has been edited by Debbie (edited 11-11-2000).] |
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Alicat Member Elite
since 1999-05-23
Posts 4094Coastal Texas |
Linda, your reply cracked me up so much I almost had an accident with my coffee.  TY!Sharon, would you remind which Arizona proposition was about English-only classes? That's what this was written about, taking my usual absurdist way to attack the thinking.  Nic, but I do get out...I work two jobs, remember? Sunny, thanky for the read and compliment. It's always good to know I could contribute to an early morning smile.  Debbie, of that I have no doubt..crud, they're at the door again.... Everyone, thank you so much for taking the time to read and comment. It's not often I write prose, although for a few of em, they make me think of James Bowie and his Dog Bible. Alicat If I were any more laid back, I'd be in a coma. |
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