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In Acceptance of PdV's Challenge: "For A Moment, He Became....
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In Acceptance of PdV's Challenge: "For A Moment, He Became.... |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart 
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For a Moment, He Became…. He does not eat, nor sleep, when the mood comes to write. He wants nothing of the outside world. He relies solely, in the here and now, in this day and age, on the wizardry of the computer, the keyboard, the wires and the electronics that surrounds him in this, the newest day and age. He is a scribe. He is not famous, nor does he expect to be. He only wants to leave the written word. He wants just ONE person to realize what he does is important to him, as it should be, to her. It does not have to be God's word, although that, of course, would please him. To think that he would have the intellect of God, the finger of God, directing and guiding him. The words do not have to be empirical to get his point across. They do, however, have to be honest. But it would be a coup to have God as director and editor. God talks to men. He is a man. God therefore, without doubt, talks to him. But this is a digression of the way he would want you to think. He would write then! Honestly. He would combine that with sincerity. It would be a credo. His credo. Albeit they might, together, hand in hand, describe honesty as being sincere, he wonders at that concept. He has clicked, tapped, and typed away, and when he hits the icon that gives the readability status, he sees 3.7 on the Flesch-Kincaid Grade Level. Wonderful. A third-grader with seven months into the school year can read the dribble. He plunders on. If for no other reason, to raise the level of the F-KGL. [4.1] (He hit Thesaurus and raised the level of the meaning by restructuring some of the words.) It is easy to be lulled away from writing, when there is no passion driving one, a passion which comes from the heart. Women think from the heart. Men think from the steel-trap mind they have. They are required to think that way, just as they are required not to cry, or have less than the ultimate opinion. Men are geared to ignore their emotions, and go on gut. Therefore, when a man says, "Stay Away!" because he is going to become articulate in nature once his fingers hit the keyboard. Men are that way. Correct? [4.2] Now he sees this Challenge on a web-site that he frequents. Stepping into the opposite sex's role. Wow. What a challenge! HE can do that! After all, he's a man, and of course, men can "do it all!" So he accepts the challenge. He becomes, for a moment, a woman! Why not attempt this? After all, he touches upon his feminine side by writing poetry. "Hey!" he thinks, "the ladies all like it when I write sonnets and lay on the elaborate words. They really open up to me on ICQ and send me e-mails daily. I can pretend to be a woman, see what other chords I can strike in them when I lay it on thick. I can accept this challenge." After all, is it not the intent of the computer to allow people to remain anonymous? Is it not the world's best cure for insecurity, and a most apt curtain to hide behind? Is this not something a man would do? [4.2] Thinking like a woman would raise his F-KGL. He accepts the challenge. "See my response in 'Prose,'" he clicks in, on the Forum which issues the Challenge. He realizes it is not a poem, but "hey," he thinks, "it's better! The women will flock to it!" Daily, he checks to see the responses. In the Prose Forum, a goose egg remains beside his name, his title, and slowly he realizes his response to the challenge was a miserable failure. He will never become a woman; he will never see the world as one. His challenge therefore becomes an empty stage floor. He does not sigh. He does not grieve. He does not eat, nor sleep, now, when the mood comes to write. He wants absolutely nothing of the outside world. He relies solely, in the here and now, in this day and age, on the wizardry of the computer, the keyboard, the wires and the electronics which surround him in this, the newest day and age. He is a scribe. He is not famous, nor does he expect to be. He only wants to leave the written word. He stares into the blank screen. And the clicking begins. "You are my Sunshine, my only Sunshine…" and he wrote to the woman who loved him most. < !signature--> Karilea If I whisper, will you listen?... I would rather be silent and write, then speak loudly and be bound. KRJ [This message has been edited by Sunshine (edited 11-03-2000).] |
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| © Copyright 2000 Karilea Rilling Jungel - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
Excellent!!! You certainly met this challenge though in prose (and that's a good thing!). I enjoyed this very much. Thank you for boosting my prose here too. Sometimes when I'm blocked poetically, it's easier to write prose. It's nice to have a backup plan. And NOW there isn't a goose egg by this post!  |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
He does not eat, nor sleep, when the mood comes to write. He wants nothing of the outside world. He relies solely, in the here and now, in this day and age, on the wizardry of the computer, the keyboard, the wires and the electronics that surrounds him in this, the newest day and age. He is a scribe. He is not famous, nor does he expect to be. He only wants to leave the written word. He wants just ONE person to realize what he does is important to him, **as it should be, to her.** ================= very clever...very honest ... very good if any one ever asks you ... when dressing in a mans mind...you wear it well... but even better --are you-- as a poet you already know I relate to much in that first paragraph...** it is the poets curse...it knows no gender.. me thinks we wouldnt have it any other way challenge well met jm |
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Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration |
Sigh - nice hun. I think you're finding your niche!  |
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Romy Senior Member
since 2000-05-28
Posts 1170Plantation, Florida |
I really enjoyed reading this! I felt like I could relate to a lot of what you/he wrote!great example of role reversal too! |
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SpitFire Member Elite
since 2000-04-19
Posts 2396 |
~Sunshine,...I have very recently started visiting here in prose and am pleased to have gotten the chance to read this post of yours. I was aware of the challenge and found your presentation to be that of an exceptionally well one! Thanks S. *Peace. |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
PdV...count on you to hatch the goose's egg...where all of the gold lies... thank you! JM, has anyone EVER told you how special you make them feel by your marvelous responses? If they haven't, consider it having been said, as of NOW...thank you!... Christopher, if the niche is my elbow in your ribs...count me tickled! All seriousness aside, thank you, Sir... Debbie...relating is the whole point...glad you enjoyed it, thank you for taking the time to read it! Spitfire...coming in to Prose to read is like having your hands on volumes of characters, all giving you that little insight into their REAL personalities...and you know what? They do just as good a job in here as they do in all of the poetry corners...so, I'm glad you came in! Karilea If I whisper, will you listen?... I would rather be silent and write, then speak loudly and be bound. KRJ |
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Wilfred Yeats Member Elite
since 2000-08-04
Posts 2704Wilmington, Delaware |
Karilea- Believe it or not - by some unique electronic osmosis from almost the first phrase I felt it was me writing in the third person - LOL - until I got to the F-KGL  which I'm aware of but never use - then of course the challenge arose - and i've never pretended to be one other than myself in chat - (why do you put ideas in my head? LOL) and of course if I were a total failure at the role reversal thingy - I'd have wondered at your aim... All that said - this is a wonderful piece - and no doubt DOES zero in on some real male netizens. A FANTASTIC WRITE -BRAVO! |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Mr. Yeats, I appreciate the kind review. I had hoped to touch the inner core, perhaps I succeeded...{~,^} Karilea If I whisper, will you listen?... I would rather be silent and write, then speak loudly and be bound. KRJ |
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