»
Main Forums
»
Passions in Prose
»
Above and Beyond (Chapter Six)
| Passions in Prose |
|
Above and Beyond (Chapter Six) |
|
|
Irish Rose Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263 |
Chapter Six, Lana began reading and slowly settle back in the chair, barely able to contain her curiosity. Frank's message was brief, honest and sincere. To her, it seemed as though he was lonely but didn't want to sound desperate. She liked the way he encouraged her to talk. This was exactly what Lana had needed. Just someone to talk with who would not judge, who would not pressure her into meeting or perhaps becoming involved in something she wasn't certain she was ready to be involved in. She felt she was open to a more meaningful, deeper relationship, but she didn't want to act hastily at this point. The Internet was all new to her in a way, and she just wanted to enjoy the privacy of it and exchange ideas with someone. Someone like Frank. Melancholy soon as a cloud over her and upon reading the message several times, she decided to wait a bit before responding. She knew she would most definitely respond and the words would have to be clear in her mind as to what she would say and how she would say it. Lana reached over to the bureau behind her, to a drawer that contained other messages. Messages that were written in another's handwriting, the ones she kept close to her so that she could read them often. They were from her husband, Ian. These letters he had written to her when he was serving during Desert Storm and she very often-opened one just to hopefully, catch a scent of him but found it wasn't really there. To her, it was, but it really wasn't. Opening the first letter, she knew in the back of her mind she was feeling a tinge of guilt and there was no reason for it. Ian had been gone for quite some time and yet his words were still very much a part of her. "I love you, Ian, I just need to hear someone respond, a reply, a voice, a message, something to make me know that I am still alive, for I haven't felt alive in many years." Lana whispered this to Frank and after reading the letter from him still cherished and protected in a sealed envelope under crepe paper, she returned it to where it had been. It was more than time to move on and she knew it. Lana suddenly fell to her knees crying, the snowstorm outside picked up furiously, and she heard a siren in the distance. Dropping the letter from her hand....she started to wonder about all the pain in her life and why she felt so utterly alone in a world with millions of people. Was she really alone? Do people truly live this way? She always felt she had hope, wanted to believe it, others said sometimes people just settle into an existence, and yet she wondered "Why? " Why was each meal eaten alone, nearly every day, why do her thoughts fall on deaf ears, and why did she come to this place in her life where she felt she could no longer cope. She wanted peace. Yes, the peace that brushes against your soul with the touch of an angel's wing. The peace that you crave more than your breaths. Looking outside, she saw shades of colors mixed in the horizon and the snow and she felt she was no longer alone. Strangely enough, although she had not even known what Frank was really like, just the fact that he heard her, maybe he felt something in her words and he had reached out to her. This made all of the difference to Lana. She reached for a blanket to place around her shoulders, and she felt warmth, but she felt peace from someone, or something, however, Lana had been wrong before. Catching a glimpse of hope in a world where others merely notice her when it's convenient? Oh, Look! There's Lana, how are you and by the way could you help me with this. If someone would truly listen to her they would know that there is more to Lana than others take time to know, more to her than what she allows them to know. Her strength comes from the inside. No one, no one can take that away from her. Lana was tired, and yet she felt she had been released, that something had been clinging to the inside of her for so long. Her thoughts came in waves, thoughts of why she just doesn't give up.....why, as the seasons change, does she drift through change and still survive?? Why now, had she felt a touch of more peace than she ever felt in her entire existence? There was another woman inside of her who had been brought to life on the surface after years, years of lying dormant, of being told to "be quiet" "don't make trouble" "go away" In her heart, she felt fire! Lana had fire! She rocked back and forth there in her room and cried out. She cried out loud for someone to hold her, and take some of her strength if they needed it, yes, but just to comfort her. Only a person so lonely, so utterly drained of living day to day and night would pray to know a glorious feeling and would she? Could she? Only someone who had cried alone, would appreciate how hard it is for Lana to ever shed a tear in another's presence. Only someone who had drawn strength from a well that for some reason was always being fille would understand. Making others laugh was sometimes easy for Lana, everyone thought she had a wonderful sense of humor, but here in this room she wasn't laughing. Only facing a magic in the night, saying a prayer as many do, many dreamers, to bring sleep, bring peace. In dreams.....she would walk into another world, where peace would be simply a step away and taunted by nightmares, she would hope, this time, this night, just before the dawn, she would find it. She remembered the words of her sister, Ruth, saying to her not long ago, "Lana, if I had been you I believe I would have given up a long time ago, but you are just too hard on yourself." Lana never gave up. Telling herself that after a hot dinner and a bath she would return to the computer and compose a message to Frank. A message responding to his and one that she would then send without regret and without fear. Lana was tired of feeling afraid. She was simply tired of being without someone in her life and perhaps it was time to do something about it. How many times had she returned home from a day's work and longed to just tell somebody about feeling frustrated, scared, or lonely? After a salad, a bowl of soup and perhaps a rather short bath, she would answer Frank. Her son, Anton, sometimes would telephone her several times during the week and she hoped he would tonight, just to take her mind off of things for a while. The house was quiet, the clock ticked in the corner and then chimed. It was 6:00 p.m. Lana wondered how many families were sitting down to a meal to share and laugh. "Stop feeling sorry for yourself." she whispered and grabbed two towels from the linen closet and headed for the bath. Candles would be in order, and she always reached for the lavender ones. "Ok, Frank, I need you now." But it wasn't the Frank she didn't know, she wanted to listen to the song that was hers and Ian's song, by Frank Sinatra. It was called "Someone to Watch Over Me" And she played it and warmed herself in the tub until her muscles began to give in and her mind wandered. The song couldn't be over quickly enough because all Lana wanted to do was compose that letter to another Frank. Ole Blue eyes had competition. Kathleen |
||
| © Copyright 2000 Kathleen - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration |
LOL - I like the way you wrapped this one up!  ps: LOVE Sinatra! |
||
|
Irish Rose Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263 |
Thanks Chris, for reading this one! Kathleen |
||
Jeffrey Carter
since 2000-04-08
Posts 2367State of constant confusion! |
Kathleen, I want a copy of the finished work when it is published  You are an extremely talented writerWOW |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
