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Above and Beyond - Chapter Four
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Above and Beyond - Chapter Four |
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Irish Rose Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263 |
Chapter Four Above and Beyond Several important clients had been telephoning Lana to request that their cases be handled immediately. Actually, she was thankful for the heavy workload, however, break time was approaching and she decided she just couldn't wait to steal a few minutes of privacy and check the ads. After completing the last telephone call, she quickly went to the site and there, she began to read the most amazing diatribe of people who were obviously disturbed, lonely, dysfunctional and well, Lana was blushing. She didn't want a threesome, she was reading things she didn't understand but knew she didn't want them. For a brief moment she toyed with the idea of simply discarding the entire notion and going on with her life. Going on with her life? What life? Lana was dying inside and needed someone to talk with. She was willing to take the risk. She spotted an ad and the name, Frank, drew her interest. A good, solid Irish name! She began to read: "I'd like an e-mail collaborator. What do I mean? Someone intelligent, thoughtful, someone who can deal with the emotions I cannot deal with but I don't want to talk to teenagers. A meeting is not a prerequisite, although if it were to happen, you'd be safe, I've never hurt a woman and I don't intend to start now. I am honest and upfront. I work for the government. I want someone to talk with and I need to listen to share the things you haven't thought of in years, guess all I can do is post this, and hope someone out there believes it. Signed Frank" He worked for the government! And he's honest!! This is another sign. After all, this is an election year, Lana knew it was fate. He did sound honest, a bit crude, brash and a little forthright. These are good qualities. Lana checked the profile, yes, he was married. She had to ask herself why she was drawn to this, the last thing she wanted was a married man in her life. Would it provide a safe outlet? Maybe this would give her someone to talk with and she'd not be intimidated. She didn't know, but after reading dozens of other ads, she kept coming back to Frank. He lived right here in Washington, D.C. He was 16 years older than she was. That didn't present a problem. In fact, it made him more attractive to her. Lana decided to take a break outside, smoke her last cigarette for the 100th time in her life and compose a short introduction of her message minimized the screen and prayed no one would peek, but she didn't want to lose the page. She reached for her coat and walked politely past the other smokers who had braved this Washington snow to enjoy a few minutes of ill-fated pleasure. Honesty. She knew that was the only way, but safety. Just because this man said he'd never hurt a woman didn't mean he hadn't. That could have been a front. She knew she was being ridiculous and watching the smoke curl in front of her, she decided that composing the message was probably healthier than what she was doing right now. "Lana, there you are!" Melissa's voice called from down the hall. Melissa had worked with Lana for a few short months and wanted her job so bad, she could taste it. In fact, she did little to hide the fact that she was a barracuda in a sleek, black business suit and 3" heels. "Hi, Melissa" Lana managed a smile "I see you're still going out for smoke breaks, honey, at your age, you know you really should take up something else. It is so bad for the skin and yellows your teeth, oh by the way, Bob and I are having a dinner party this weekend, well, maybe I could arrange a date for you to get you out and about, what do you think of that?" Lana had remembered a case she was typing earlier that morning. The judge was quite lenient with the murderer and this gave her hope for dealing with Melissa in a smooth, fluid fashion. She could easily dispose of her on a 15-minute break, smoke a couple of cigarettes, and no one would be the wiser. "Melissa, if you'll excuse me I have a ton of work to do. I have plans this weekend by the way" Lana turned and walked back to her desk. "Oh, ok, well, sure, no problem" Melissa turned and bounced back to her desk. Lana sat down, smoothed her sleeves up, took one more sip of now, cold coffee and began typing. "Hi, My name… Nah! "Well, hello there… NO! "Hi, My name is Lana. I believe I am an intelligent person. I would like to share some conversation. I work; I am a widow, with a grown son. I enjoy poetry, reading, and art. I love modern jazz, and cool blues. I'm very emotional and I want to say that upfront. I love old movies and boxes of hot buttered popcorn. I …wait Lana. Why don't you just tell him you full day's schedule? Was that too much? No, she hadn't given detail, no address, no picture online, nothing that could possibly leave a clue. Lana composed her reply until finally it sounded right. Just several more times and she was finished, she hit the spell check, then stood up, said the Pledge of Allegiance and pushed the send button. There! I have signed on, enlisted to make a fool of myself. Now, I wait. It will be agonizing, but he's the only one I even considered. The rest…well, that I would rather not think about. I'd rather spend the evening with Melissa and Bob. Lunchtime had arrived and others were beginning to leave the building. Lana usually ate alone. Today, the air was frozen with possibilities and she decided she wanted to go to her car and pick up something at the local restaurant. She had to get out for a while until evening when she could at home, study her caseloads and check the responses. Why was she hoping there would be one? Lana knew. Her mind was filled with curiosity. After lunch she would contact the travel agent who was handling her vacation. That would surely fill her mind with something more appealing than wishing she weren't so alone. It had taken her months to save enough money for a property vacation and she intended to enjoy it. She almost thought she should wait until she returned from the trip to meet someone online, or otherwise, but now she was intrigued by Frank's ad and wanted nothing more than to pursue it. Lana had considered the Caribbean, the Nile River even, she had thought of a beautiful place to vacation, someplace where she felt serenity. She wanted a place where the tourist had forgotten about but that was nearly impossible to find. She had even considered Kiawah Island as a friend had shared the experience of it with her, but the thought of traveling abroad appealed to her. A new wardrobe would be in order and luggage of course. Lana tried to convince herself that the trip would solve all of her loneliness, but in the back of her mind she knew this was not true. For years she had many opportunities to meet men, nice men and often she did accept an evening out. Many were gracious, considerate and attractive but there was always something holding her back from confiding. The trust factor just wasn't there and she wanted someone with whom she felt at ease. The afternoon hours soon passed and Lana found herself pondering the notion of staying over to complete some unfinished tasks. "No, I do enough around here, it's time to get home." Once there she could relax and hopefully have a response to answer. Anton wasn't due home on military leave for several months and she was feeling a bit guilty about not only wanting but also needing the privacy to correspond, should someone come from this. Pulling her car into the driveway, Lana's home was always a welcome sight. Often times her neighbor, Mr. Fiske would offer to shovel her driveway off and she appreciated it so much. The neighborhood had matured during the many years since she and Ian had first purchased their home and at this time in her life she was thankful for the quietness of it. The thought of living in an apartment seemed so foreign to her. In the summer she had her garden and in the winter she had her fireplace. Lana had all the possibilities of settling into this life and yet, it offered no comfort and no sharing. The upcoming trip would give her a new prospective, at least that's what she hoped. She knew it was best not to take anything with her other than her dreams. She had them still and had not completely given up on the idea that somewhere in this world there was a person who, like herself, was genuine. The front closet always invited her with a fresh cedar smell, and as she hung her coat up she began to laugh. Not fully understanding why, she realized she was giddy with the excitement of meeting someone new. It could be all for nothing, but she wanted to laugh and she did. Right there in the closet, with the wet snow melting off of her coat, she laughed out loud and it felt good to be alive. It felt good to have the possibility. She could only imagine how it would feel if it actually happened. Would someone want to get to know her? If they did, what if they rejected her. The idea of it made her feel colder so she quickly dismissed it. Lana felt she had always been a good judge of character and the decided right then and there, that she would approach this calmly and rationally. After all, what could possibly come from messages on a screen? She would soon find out. She fixed a cup of hot chocolate, gathered her self together and turned on her PC. Here she was, after sitting in front of one all day facing it again, and yet this time, she literally had goose bumps all over with the anticipation. Lana was steaming. The message box said (1). < !signature--> Kathleen [This message has been edited by Irish Rose (edited 10-03-2000).] |
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